I think it depends. If your little brother has been talking about wanting to name his daughter [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] ever since he was 12, and you name your daughter [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], I do think that counts as name theft, even if [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is extremely popular.
But in cases of friends and acquaintances, or even names that are new crushes of family members, I think it’s fine! And almost impossible to avoid with top 100 names if you’re in a group of friends who are around the age of becoming parents.
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I agree! I think there a few exceptions I could see, but I think in general common names can’t be “stolen”. I don’t think any names can really be stolen.
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With close relatives and friends I think stealing is a thing. To me it feels less special when you see another one often, and they have a special place in your life. However, for more distant relationships I agree with you. I wouldn’t care if my co-worker had an [name_f]Ada[/name_f] (top 50 name where I live), because I know it’s likely to meet some.
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I wouldn’t personally want to use a name my sibling or close friend had used or was planning to use, but I don’t think it’s an issue at all if you just know someone with the name! Especially if the name is more common–in that case, it’s perfectly natural that lots of people love it!
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i mean, it’d be a bit weird to use a name that someone you’re very close to has already used, but it could easily be an honour name for you, in which case it’s not stealing. if you know that your sibling/close friend/etc loves a name, then you decide you like it after hearing them mention it, it’s stealing regardless of popularity.
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I feel like it’s not necessarily name theft if it’s a top 100 name— those names are popular and people are bound to come up with the same or similar combos.
However, if someone fairly close to you (friends/family/coworkers/etc) has been talking about naming their child a certain name, regardless of popularity, and you use the name first, after hearing them talk about it, then it’d be name theft. Another one where it’d be name theft is if an unusual name or combo is created, and someone sees/hears it from a friend and uses it first.
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I think the idea of stealing names is silly. We should choose names we love, totally unencumbered by what our loves ones have chosen. Although I realize that feelings can get hurt, it’s not that difficult to come up with a nickname for your child when they’re around another child of the same name.
Saying all of this, I realize my idealism might not reflect my reality. If my sister picked a name, I would never use it because I know it would be important to her.
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I agree in theory - if it’s a common name, then I don’t think it would count as “stealing”, especially if it was a name you had loved before someone either told you they wanted to use it or named their own kid. Especially since there’s a lot of similarity between names in the top 100. For example, if your nephew’s name is [name_u]Oliver[/name_u] does that exclude you from using [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] as a baby name? [name_u]Or[/name_u] if your best friend picks the name [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] do you have to forgo [name_f]Eliana[/name_f] because they can both be nicknamed [name_f]Ellie[/name_f]? So, no, in theory, I don’t think it qualifies as stealing if you pick the same or a variation of a top 100 name.
In reality, though, I can’t imagine actually naming my kid the same name or a close variation as the name an immediate family member or close friend picked. It would be odd to me to have two kids with the same name in my inner circle.
Luckily all the names I like are out of the top 100! 
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If I’d been specifically asked not to use it, I wouldn’t, but otherwise I would. I would’ve thought it was cool to share a name with a relative/parents close friend child when I was little!
I agree, you cannot steal a top 100 name. One of my friends claimed she loved [name_f]Emma[/name_f] years ago (when we were 20 years old) and told her close friends not to use it. First off, she was not in a relationship or pregnant so I feel like you can’t call a name then (unless it’s an honor name). Also I feel like you definitely cannot “call” the top baby girl name in the country (I live in the US).
It just depends why someone asked you not to use a name.
[quote=“[name_u]Abby[/name_u], post:1, topic:370527”]
Okay, your sibling or a close friend could ask you not to use Isla or Miles or Eleanor or James. But just knowing other kids with the name doesn’t make it theft.
[/quote]
I agree!
Sure, [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is the #1 name, but if you know your sister-in-law has been dreaming of a daughter called [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], it’s probably not right for you to use it. However, if you have a random coworker who happens to have a daughter called [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], I don’t think it’s wrong for you to use it, too, because it is so common.
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I still wouldn’t do it, but I don’t think it’s as big of a deal if the name is super popular, especially if you both already know people with that name.
I don’t believe in “name stealing” because nobody owns a name. Many of the people who seem most freaked out that their childhood neighbor who now lives in [name_u]Paris[/name_u] has a dog with the same name they want to name their kid are concerned about names like [name_f]Ava[/name_f], [name_f]Emma[/name_f], [name_m]Jake[/name_m], and [name_u]Noah[/name_u]. When the kid goes to school and meets 135 other Emmas and Noahs, all worries over that dog in [name_u]Paris[/name_u] will be superceded.
Calling the using of a name you love theft is typical of our overly cautious society. Theft is when they steal your Toyota or your Amazon packages: it’s flattery when someone uses your child’s (or gerbil’s) name.
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Luckily for me, my siblings make fun of my names and most of my friends are from different ethnic backgrounds from me so will be using names that are Arabic etc whereas I will not be. However, if I did like names that were in the top 100 I wouldn’t use one that a family member or close friend had either used or was going to use. Not because I think ‘stealing’ a popular name is a thing, just because I would find it incredibly weird and unoriginal for my kid to have the same name as their cousin. Unless it was a variation of a family name, in which case it’s less weird, but I also don’t really have family names to use. I very much agree with what everyone else is saying in that it’s only stealing if you decide you like it after they tell you that they want to use it. But with super popular names, there are always bound to be loose acquaintances who love that name too. None of my names are super popular but if a friend named their child one of the more familiar ones ([name_f]Daphne[/name_f] for example) I’d just be excited at how good their taste is. If they used something slightly more obscure ([name_f]Mazarine[/name_f] or [name_f]Marais[/name_f]) I’d probably be upset because I feel like it’s only really stealing if you 1) know they would 100% use that name or 2) know that you most likely would have never come across that name if it weren’t for them liking it.
I really only think it’s theft if you use the name that your close friend or family member wants to use for your child. Like my brother wants to name his daughter [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u]. He likes no other name, so even though I love it and gave him the idea, if I used it myself I’d feel like I was stealing it from him.
I agree with you. The exception, as you said, would be close friends and family.
Hmm, i think it depends on how close the person is to you. Not sure though. I would still feel like it would be name theft.
Well said! It’s very different when you know the choice is going to up-end someone’s long-held plans …
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@futuremama, YES! I’m surprised at how often KIDS like sharing names. [name_m]Even[/name_m] when parents would prefer that it not happen!
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I really appreciate you saying this, @anon40684139. I think the question in this post is tricky because they’re not really close enough friends for her to ask, but she doesn’t want to upset her friend, either.