Can't agree on a name (advice?)

I’m 18 weeks pregnant with our second baby (and second daughter!), so I know that we have plenty of time left to choose a name, but my husband and I are on two totally separate pages and I’m stressed out.

Our first is named [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]. Shortly after she was born we came across the name [name_f]Willow[/name_f], both fell head over heels for it, and vowed to use it should we ever have another girl. We loved that both girls would have W’s in their names but that their names would be very different. We just loved how breezy and flowy the name [name_f]Willow[/name_f] sounds. It made for the ultimate sibset in our opinion. When we would talk about our hypothetical future daughter, we would always refer to her as [name_f]Willow[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f]. And of course now that she’s real my husband has decided that he’s bored with the name and is 10,000% set on a different name…

[name_u]Juniper[/name_u]. It’s a nice enough name, and I really like the nn [name_u]June[/name_u] (both my husband and I have [name_u]June[/name_u] birthdays!), but I’m not in love with it. It doesn’t feel like her name. I don’t like that both girls would have -er names. I don’t like that my dumb pregnant brain keeps getting it confused with [name_m]Jupiter[/name_m] and that it feels clumsy coming out of my mouth. I don’t like knowing that our families will collectively hate her name, even though I know that their opinions shouldn’t weigh much. I can’t picture myself ever saying “This is my daughter [name_u]Juniper[/name_u]”.

I’m still very much in love with the idea of [name_f]Willow[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f], but I’ve tried suggesting other names to him and nothing sticks. It’s like I can’t even get him to consider something else.

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When I ask him what other names he likes I’m met with “I don’t know any other names”. Uh, okay. We’ve sat together and scrolled through the top 1000 from 2015. He looks at lists on Nameberry occasionally. We have that BabyName app. But sure, he doesn’t know any other names. :rolleyes:

I feel like the only way I could get him to think about a different name would be if we invite some family into this discussion (we were planning on keeping the naming process private this time), but I wouldn’t want him to feel attacked. I know they’ll hate it. And I don’t want him to have to settle for a name that he doesn’t love either like I’d be doing if we went with this one.

So I guess I’m just looking for advice. What would you do in this situation? Could you name your child something you think is okay but you don’t love? Is this a battle worth fighting? Like I said I do quite like [name_u]June[/name_u] and I know that’s what she’ll be called most of the time, but [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] just does nothing for me. Would you concede? Demand compromise?

If [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] does nothing to you, then it does nothing. If I were in your position, I’ll just tell him and say I don’t want to use it (like if he can say no to [name_f]Willow[/name_f], you can just veto [name_u]Juniper[/name_u]). If you like [name_u]June[/name_u] then, maybe any other [name_u]June[/name_u] names? [name_f]Junia[/name_f], [name_f]Juno[/name_f], [name_u]June[/name_u] as a stand alone, etc? [name_f]Else[/name_f] keep looking. :slight_smile:

Though I don’t have children yet, S/O and I went through similar when I told him the names I originally liked.

When he and I first met, I had [name_f]Florence[/name_f], [name_f]Mabel[/name_f], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], etc. on my list. When I mentioned them to him, he hated them, and didn’t like how old-fashioned they were. In fact, ALL old-fashioned names were pretty shot down because he really didn’t like them.
At first I was kind of frustrated, because I had never had to worry about someone else’s opinions of my names really, other than the few friends and family I had told.
But then I realised, if I was going to marry my S/O and have children with him, then I’d rather us use names we both like. So i started over, completely from scratch.

We ended up agreeing on a lot of names when we both took a step back and started over. We ended up loving quite a few names and now we have an agreed upon list (of sorts).

I’d suggest doing something similar - just starting over! If he’s bored of [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and you’re not sold on [name_u]Juniper[/name_u], there isn’t much you can do in terms of a compromise, because at the end of the day, one of you may end up unhappy further down the road.

I’d suggest starting over - maybe not as extensively as you did before, but, tell your husband how you feel about [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] and suggest the idea that you two should look again at names together. If he still refuses to budge, maybe suggest [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] as a middle name?

Good luck!

Ps: I love your daughter’s name!

Would be consider [name_f]Willow[/name_f] [name_u]Juniper[/name_u]?

Tried that, but he says it’s too much as both [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] are trees.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply!

I don’t know if you’re familiar with it, but there’s an app where you’re able to basically say yes or no to names and connect with your partner on it and if you both say yes to the same name then it gets added to a list of “matches”. It seems like the easiest way to start over. I’ve asked him if we could maybe try this out in our spare time. In the past 45 minutes alone we’ve found 3 matches, 2 of which we’ve never even discussed with each other before ([name_u]Sloane[/name_u] and [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]). Hopefully this gets us headed in a new (more productive) direction!

The problem is that I have tried vetoing [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] haha. I’ve told him that I don’t think it’s the right name for her and that I don’t especially like it, but he can’t seem to move past it. He compares every other name to it, and nothing holds up.

Thank you for your suggestions, though!

I hope that app is helpful. we did something similar when we started our boys list.

I sat down and went through a baby name book and wrote down every name I liked or wouldn’t mind naming a child. Then I gave the list to him and told him to cross out the names he didn’t like. we ended up with 8 we both liked and then moved to “how does this sound with our last name?” and “does this middle name work with any of them?” to narrow it down further. I also put the names through the baby name test drive* and that took a few out of the running.

Fingers crossed this helps!! The app sounds really cool - what’s it called??

It’s called BabyName! Not sure if it’s on Android, but it’s free on the App Store.

Hoping you will find a great compromise!

One thought I had was [name_u]Piper[/name_u]. I know it has the -er ending (like [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]), but it is 2 syllables (like [name_f]Willow[/name_f], instead of the longer [name_u]Juniper[/name_u]). I thought that a shorter name may flow better for you. And [name_u]Piper[/name_u] is not exactly a nature name, but its style is similar.

[name_u]Piper[/name_u] [name_f]Willow[/name_f]
[name_u]Piper[/name_u] [name_u]June[/name_u]
Piper Jane

Good luck with the search!