It was different for each child with me.
With my oldest we picked the middle name first. It was very meaningful to both me and my ex-husband. For the first name we decided we wanted an Icelandic nature name, and Hjörtur had been on my list for ages, it was also honoring someone who was very important to me. It sounded good with the middle name we’d chosen ([name_m]Emmanuel[/name_m]), the moment we put the two names together it felt perfect.
Naming my second son was a struggle. I was divorced and had a new SO by then, so looking for the perfect compromise between our styles had to start all over again. I was also struggling with anxiety during my pregnancy and kept thinking that everyone was going to hate the name we’d chose. We knew we wanted the baby’s middle name to be an Icelandic nature name, because of the connection to Hjörtur, but we hadn’t chosen one from our list yet. Only very late in my pregnancy we decided on his first name, [name_m]Barnabas[/name_m] (him being born almost 5 weeks early forced us to speed things up as well ). When we had his first name, we looked at our list of middle names again and chose the one that worked best with [name_m]Barnabas[/name_m] and had the best meaning.
With the twins it was different for each one of them. We decided very early on that we wanted [name_m]Leonid[/name_m] as a first name, and decided that we wanted Pythagoras as a middle name a little later. They sounded good together, so that was baby A’s name. For baby B we decided on his middle name first, Zakynthos, and I went into the delivery room with different options for his first name.