Choosing my own Middle Name

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all!
I am a transgender male (female to male) at a very exciting time in my life, I have been using the first name [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] for a few years and I want to legally change it to that. However, I am struggling with settling on a middle name.
For a little background, I live in the UK, am 21 years old and I have an older brother with a common biblical first name :))
I have a couple options:
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Adam[/name_m] (my name if I were biologically male)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] (associated with my childhood)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] (the masculine version of my current middle name)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] (a name with little meaning that I just like)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] (strong meaning within the family, but I worry it is a little obscure)

The aim of this post is to gather opinions on the names I have tried, to receive any suggestions about other names I could look at, and hear ideas that flow nicely with the first name I chose.

Many Thanks in advance!

2 Likes

It really is a hard call, all five are lovely! They flow really nicely with [name_m]Brendan[/name_m], and all your reasons for liking them are solid. Personally, I do love [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] for its strong meaning, and I don’t think [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] is too obscure – it was the 165th most-used name for baby boys in [name_u]England[/name_u] in 2021! If anything, with you being 21 to most outsiders it’d probably seem like your parents were simply ahead of the curve when naming you! I also find [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] quite sweet, it’s another one that you’re unlikely to regret since it has that lovely connection to your childhood that you mentioned.

Have you tried testing out the name? Maybe fake-signing a document as [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u], for example, to see if it feels and sounds right, I know that can be useful to some people when they’re struggling to make a final choice!

Wishing you good luck with the name change!! x

Well I have to start with sharing my first impression that [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] and [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] are both great-sounding names - really handsome! [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] is probably my favourite. [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] also sounds really good with your [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] and I really like that you chose this because you like it!

[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] is very classic. [name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Adam[/name_m] also feels really solid, but it does rhyme slightly which makes it flow less well than the other options, if I’m being very particular.

I love [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u], but I have found that other people do not! I’ll give you the context that the ‘other people’ I’m talking about are much nearer my age than yours - mid 30’s to 40’s (I’m also in the UK, [name_u]England[/name_u] specifically) in case you really don’t care about this demographic!! If I have mentioned [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u], it’s got nose-crinkle reactions like they find it distasteful or maybe cheesy or too trendy? Unfortunately that’s made me retreat and keep my positive feelings about [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] to myself, rather than asking what their reaction was about, so I can’t articulate it for you here!

I’ll offer a few suggestions based on your current options:
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Lawrence[/name_u]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Antony[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Frederick[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Leo[/name_u]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Hugh[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Marcus[/name_m]

I would pick something you just like. [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] is great.

I like these ones:

[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] → classic, seems meaningful to you, would match with your brother’s classic name, flows well and feels solid

[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] → [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] has flair but also feels grounded. I wasn’t sure if I’d like the flow at first but there’s something appealing about it now I’d said it a few times!

[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] → cool and powerful, unexpected and bold, sure, but not outlandish - especially as a middle. It also did rank in the UK top 600 in your birth year, so it was used then (and is currently in the top 200) - so not too out there imo

Some other ideas:

[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Lucas[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Rory[/name_u] (Phoenix means dark red, [name_u]Rory[/name_u] means red king)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Felix[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Samuel[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Frederick[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Malachi[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Theodore[/name_m]

I like all of your options, but my favorite is definitely [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u]. Not as common, but not too out there. Also the ties within the family is nice. Here are some other options
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] Heili (Heilio)
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Julian[/name_u]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Elijah[/name_u]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Aron[/name_m], or [name_m]Aharon[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_u]Jay[/name_u]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Felix[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] [name_m]Carl[/name_m]