I have loved the name [name_f]Clara[/name_f] since I was a little girl and always pictured myself naming my first daughter [name_f]Clara[/name_f]. My husband likes it but doesn’t love it. But he agreed a while ago that we could name our first girl [name_f]Clara[/name_f] if I let him pick the first boy’s name ([name_m]Benjamin[/name_m]…which I don’t really like but its important to my husband).
Then he suggested the name [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eila[/name_f] (pronounced EYE-la) and we both really like it.
So my question is 2 parts - one, would you compromise on a name you’ve loved for a long time if your partner didn’t love it (but didn’t hate it) and two - which name do you like better?
[name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f]/ [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f]
or
[name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eila[/name_f]
I think that compromising is the best idea. It’s really a shame that he doesn’t like [name_f]Clara[/name_f], but you don’t want to have the guilt of naming your daughter a name that your husband never really loved. Now if you feel that way about [name_f]Jane[/name_f] that he feels about [name_f]Clara[/name_f]…that’s a toughie! For what it’s worth, they’re both beautiful names. I personally like [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] best. [name_f]Jane[/name_f] is a bit less common than [name_f]Clara[/name_f] though, so that’s a plus. And it has the nn option of [name_f]Janie[/name_f], whereas [name_f]Clara[/name_f] doesn’t really have any. I don’t like that spelling of [name_f]Eila[/name_f] though ([name_f]Isla[/name_f] seems more accurate.) Actually, I like [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Clara[/name_f] as a combo.
If you do go with [name_f]Jane[/name_f] for a girl, does that mean that you would discuss boys names again and also choose a name that you both like? I don’t think it would be fair if you gave up your favourite name but your husband did not. Hypothetically would you prefer a [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] sibset or [name_f]Jane[/name_f] and a boys name you both like?
I love both [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_f]Jane[/name_f], but my favourite of the names you listed is [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f].
First, I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_f]Jane[/name_f]. Both are on my list for #3.
I think it comes down to if you will compromise and let him have [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] for a boy. [name_m]Will[/name_m] it bother you that you don’t love [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] (or that he gets greater say in the next child’s first name regardless of sex)? If it would bother you so much that you wouldn’t want to use it, would you want your husband to feel that way about [name_f]Clara[/name_f]? [name_m]Just[/name_m] food for thought.
That being said, my [name_m]SIL[/name_m] adored the name [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] her whole life and just could not imagine not using it. So she got [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], and my brother got [name_m]John[/name_m] [name_m]Robert[/name_m] and both are completely happy with the arrangement.
They’re both lovely choices. I like both [name_f]Clara[/name_f] options, but prefer [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f].
I get concerned about posts where the mother has to give in to a name that she doesn’t love. I know, the dad needs to love the name too and sometimes there are strong feelings involved from his side as well - but I have just seen so many times where it’s the woman who compromises a lot and then suffers for years with name regret. It’s not unusual unfortunately. So I think you need to love the name you use, boy or girl.
That said, I really like both [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_f]Jane[/name_f], and like all your combos too. However in your case I would choose [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f].
I love ‘[name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f],’ however, I really think you should settle with [name_f]Clara[/name_f], regardless of middle name. It’s your favourite name.
wow! I just really like both. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you know if this is a girl yet? I compromised and did not name my first son what I wanted to name him. But then, my husband had no room to complain when we had our second son. However, I will say, you never know if you will have another daughter. IF using the name [name_f]Clara[/name_f] is the end all be all important to you, you might just want to use it and promise to use [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eila[/name_f] next time. I guess I never had a name that was an end all be all important to me. One of my children has a name I did not like and I wish I had died on a hill over that one. But, if you like [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eila[/name_f] and would be okay with naming the next girl [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and realize you might not have another girl (but could have another girl) then it might be nice to compromise.
I need to add something to my advice. It does go both ways. Apparently, my husband always wanted to name a daughter [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. Well, I cannot stand that name. He told me when he was growing up, there was this girl named [name_f]Emily[/name_f] and he thought she was so great. Yeah, again, not a good plug for a name to his wife. He had to realize that when he is growing up, it is just him thinking such-n-such is great. But he is married and he has to compromise with the person he made the baby with. So, the name you give your baby should be a product of your marriage and not just what you grew up wanting. So, a compromise might be a good idea. But it really is an individual thing.
I don’t hate [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m], I just think its way too common (I’m a teacher in our area, so I hear the popular names. I know about 5 Bens.) However, it was his grandfather’s name, and his grandfather saved his life when he was a child, so I really feel like a jerk putting my foot down over it. ([name_m]Bennett[/name_m] is not an option…it’s my ex’s surname)
We don’t know what we’re having yet and won’t for a while, so there’s still time to ruminate on it.
Also, [name_f]Eila[/name_f] is the Hebrew spelling, and after my niece [name_f]Ella[/name_f]…which is why we will be using that over [name_f]Isla[/name_f] if we use that name.
I like [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Eila[/name_f], called [name_f]Clara[/name_f]-[name_f]Jane[/name_f]. (A southern USA influence.)
[name_f]Isla[/name_f] may be correct, but I like your husband’s spelling much better.
What initials would [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Isla[/name_f] end up with? [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_f]Isla[/name_f] [name_u]Green[/name_u]…JIG?
[name_m]DON[/name_m]'T give up [name_f]Clara[/name_f]!!! My husband wasn’t crazy about the name I loved for my daughter, but he agreed to it after she was born. Well, all our other children were boys! You can’t imagine how bad I would feel even today if I had settled for a second choice. We agreed on all the boy names, no need for compromise.
