Communicating a Name Change

Hello Berries,

I’m posting to ask for help on a name change, both in the technical and personal sense. [name_m]Long[/name_m] story short, my birth name was [name_f]Amy[/name_f] but it has always felt unshakably wrong. (That’s what made my a lifelong name nerd.) Despite the Nameberry community’s many helpful suggestions, I ended up choosing my original favorite, [name_f]Aletheia[/name_f].

I expect that legally changing my name will not be an option until much later. Until then, I will have to unofficially go by my new name.

Technical things first: where should I use my new name? I know that my birth name should be used on official/legal documents, but here I am referring to name tags, class projects, assignment papers, etc. I was thinking of signing as “[name_f]Amy[/name_f] ([name_f]Aletheia[/name_f])”, but worried that it would become clunky after many usages. On academic reports and comments (not written by me), which name will most likely be used, and could this cause problems?

Additionally, how often do I introduce myself by my new name? I feel like correcting everyone who calls me [name_f]Amy[/name_f] would become tedious or repetitive to others around me.

Then there’s the issue of talking to family and friends. [name_m]How[/name_m] should I talk about my name change with my parents, who were initially disapproving (and still respond curtly when any mention of my new name comes up)? I know this is an issue that can no longer be avoided, since I will start using my new name for real very soon. (My extended family are not English speakers, and I expect that they will keep calling me [name_f]Amy[/name_f] because it’s easier to pronounce, and I’m okay with that.)

As for my friends, I was thinking of telling them in person and making a social media announcement about it. I’m much more concerned about how my family will take it, though, because my friends do not seem opposed to my name change.

Thank you so much for reading this, and I appreciate your help!

Congratulations on deciding your new name!

I would start introducing myself to all new people by the new name and only tell them the old one if they had a specific reason to know.

School/signing up for things: a lot of forms now have a ‘prefered name’ category to help people call you by the name you recognize.

Family and friends may appreciate a face to face conversation, but you could also jazz it up with some cute name announcement cards or even a party. People are doing these for all kinds of life transitions, so why not a new moniker?!

I hope those ideas are helpful. Good luck!

You can largely thank the transgender community for that (even though that’s not your case).