[name_m]New[/name_m] Mum alert! Would love to hear some advice from the more experienced mommas out there.
Babykins lost a lot of his birth weight in the first five days of life (11%) due to him not being able to latch on when breastfeeding. The midwife has put him on a feeding plan where I have to feed him every two hours in the hopes he will gain weight faster.
I’m very fortunate that baby is a good sleeper and is almost sleeping through the night by himself (11/12 until 6) at two weeks but the feeding plan means I’m having to wake him up regularly for feeds. Once awake he is very hard to settle back down and once he calms and falls asleep I pretty much have to wake him again for the next feed. I’m losing my mind here people! We’re both ending up very cranky.
I’ve spoken to a few friends and they say it’s a miracle I have such a good sleeper and I really shouldn’t be waking baby up during the night as it could lead to bad habits. Also, baby will wake himself up naturally if he is hungry. They advised me to give him a few extra feeds before I go to bed and try and make them longer if possible to fill him up for the night.
I agree in principal but I’m so worried about disregarding what the midwife has advised since she is a professional and has his best advice at heart. I’m writing this at 3:45am, he’s been up since 2am and is due his next feed in 15 minutes and he’s only been asleep for 10 minutes.
What would you guys do? Sorry for the long rant I’m very sleep deprived at the moment!
I would say that if the midwife has put him on a feeding plan, you need to stick to it at least until you can talk to her about it. She is a professional, and your friends are well-meaning but not qualified to contradict her advice. If your baby is gaining slowly, he does need more frequent feeds, and low-weight/slow gaining babies are often more sleepy and lethargic so you may well need to wake him sometimes for feeds.
However, you both need sleep too (!) so I would definitely be making an appointment to discuss your concerns. [name_f]Every[/name_f] two hours is a lot, but your midwife won’t just have plucked the number from thin air - there will be a medical reason behind it. I imagine it’s a short-term thing to get his weight up and get his natural feeding pattern/instinct to kick in. To be honest, at 2 weeks you wouldn’t expect a newborn baby to be going much longer between feeds/wake-ups anyway.
Good luck!
ETA: Surely it’s 2 hours from the end of one feed to the start of the next? So if you woke him at 2 and he fed for 45mins, the next feed wouldn’t be due until 4.45.
I agree completely with @katinka! Your midwife is the one with years of education and training. You could ask your health visitor or midwife for some more information.
Congratulations on your new baby! It’s so exciting but also so hard in the beginning, especially with the first.
My policy (and my pediatrician’s strong advice) was to NOT let the baby sleep too long of a stretch until they reached a certain weight (as determined by the pediatrician). So I would wake mine up until I was “cleared” by the doctor not to do that anymore.
Also, I had a lot of issues nursing my first and he didn’t end up gaining weight properly. I had to supplement with formula starting at 2 weeks and that was absolutely the best thing for him despite all the guilt I initially felt. [name_m]Just[/name_m] wanted to mention that in case you were struggling with the decision. One way or another, they need a certain number of calories a day and I couldn’t make enough milk for my first. (Things went smoother in the nursing department with babies 2 and 3).
My [name_f]Alice[/name_f] lost a lot of weight in the first few days and was gaining back slowly as well. She was also sleeping great (5-6 hours) at night the first couple weeks. I think that was probably due to the pain meds I was on for my C-section.
Her doctor had me waking her every 2-3 hours around the clock because apparently after just a few hours a baby can dehydrate and they will get weaker and weaker so they won’t wake up and ask for food. She started gaining weight pretty fast and has stayed in the 90th percentile. After what seemed like forever, but was probably about 4-6 weeks she started sleeping 6-7 hours at night again and after another couple months started sleeping 10-12 hours.
So this may temporarily disrupt both your sleep patterns, but in the long run your baby needs to gain weight and learn that he needs to eat frequently. If you are able to feed him every 2-3 hours during the day as well you will eventually see a decrease in night feedings because he will be getting all his calories during waking hours. Still, at only a couple weeks old he should require regular night feedings. It is stressful, but remember it’s only temporary. You are doing a great job!
I agree with the other posters. Have you looked into safe bedsharing and tried feeding in a side lying position? You may find your baby settles back to sleep more quickly in bed with you, and you’ll feel much more rested not having to get up. Once baby has reached a good weight, you can transition straight back into the bassinet if bedsharing is not for you. You can’t create bad habits in the first few weeks, baby is still in the 4th trimester.
[name_m]Trust[/name_m] your midwife, not your friends. Or get a second option from another midwife or doctor if you want, but they will probably say the same thing since your baby is not gaining weight correctly.
I see that lilhan already suggested bedsharing, which was going to be my suggestion too. I was in a similar situation with my little one and bedsharing was the only way we got through the first month. There are ways to do it mostly safely. You can find a lot of good information here http://www.parentingscience.com/bed-sharing.html
Probably the easiest way to safely bedshare is just pull the baby’s mattress out of the crib and you both sleep on it (trust me, you’re exhausted, sleeping on such a tiny surface shouldn’t be a problem. I was even so exhausted that I slept in her crib with her a few nights because it was the only thing I could think to do). But at least with bedsharing, you can sleep while the baby is nursing, and that will help a bit.
I think deep down I knew it was a bad idea to go against the Midwife’s advice. It’s just very frustrating, especially when you’re already sleep deprived.
But the good news is that all the hard work from me and baby has paid off! He’s back to his birth weight and has been discharged. I’m so happy I could literally cry! Now off to get some sleep before little one wakes up!
Ooh, mama, you are working so hard to nurture your new baby and you’re doing a great job, even though you’re sleep-deprived and he’s gaining weight slowly! It will be ok!
I agree that you should touch base with your midwife re: when that two-hour countdown begins. I had to wake my son to nurse as well, but based the two-hour intervals on the end of the feeding session. That way, he’d nurse for ~45 minutes, we’d sleep for two hours (long enough to complete a sleep cycle), and then I’m wake him up again.
You probably already do this, but I found that my son settled down after a night nursing if we avoided riling him up during the nursing - we kept the lights off/low and barely whispered.
Many newborns will nurse in their sleep in the laidback position - it’s pretty self-explanatory but here’s a video link (no real boobs are shown, in case tha: a concern) Introduction to Laid Back Breastfeeding (Biological Nurturing) - YouTube and learning to nurse like that, without waking the baby, was a revelation!
Before 3 or 4 months, babies don’t really have much of an internal clock, not enough to form sleep habits, so you don’t have to worry about accidentally establishing bad habits by waking him to nurse now.
Yes, laid-down nursing is the best if you can master it! I’m training to be a breastfeeding counsellor at the moment; feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
I wouldn’t wake a sleeping baby to feed. If he’s hungry, he will wake up. Id be afraid it might lead to bad sleeping habits later. It’s very normal to have a sleepy newborn, in a week or two he will be more awake and alert and eating more.