Considering name-napping!

Friends of mine had a little boy last year named [name]Reuben[/name], and I like the name so much I wish it was mine!

They were good friends in high school, these days though we only keep in touch on Facebook. But my high school was so small that my school friends are more like cousins. Everybody still keeps in touch, and there have only been two babies from our class, so if I use their name everyone I went to school with is going to know I used the same name as them.

Would any of this scare you off using a name as lovely as [name]Reuben[/name]?

Hmm tricky one.
Did you like it BEFORE your friends used it? or is it case of growing to like it because you heard it?
If you liked it before… and nothing else compares then maybe yes, use it.
But then again, how much do you care of people think you copied?
If it were “[name]Jack[/name]” or another super popular name I think using it would be easier.
Since you don’t see them, maybe it would be OK.
If it were me, I wouldn’t want people to think that out of literally thousands and thousands of other names I couldn’t find a different name so used someone elses.

emiliaj

I think in that situation, I wouldn’t use [name]Reuben[/name] but I would think about [name]Ruben[/name] :wink: Not that the one letter makes much of a difference, but it does mean that you wouldn’t use the exact same name.
You could have just as easily loved the name for years, though, and your former classmate wouldn’t know the difference.
If I honestly couldn’t find another name I loved as much, then I’d go ahead and use it, but there are so many names out there, I’d probably look for something else before repeating the name, but if I came up short, then [name]Reuben[/name] it is. It’s a nice name, and it’s not like it’s unheard of.

I wouldn’t consider it! Although whenever I hear of anyone from school having a baby I immediately check the name and to be honest if it’s a name I’ve liked, it would soon be off my list as I wouldn’t want to share the name - I know it’s not entirely possible but if I can knowingly avoid it then I would.

If you love it, use it but I’d be prepared for a few people to assume you have “copied” as childish as that sounds because you can’t help what name you love!

I personally would not do it.

[name]How[/name] soon would you be using this name? Are you expecting now or would you be using [name]Reuben[/name] in a couple of years? If its not immediately going to be used, I think I would at least put it on the list. [name]Reuben[/name] is the kind of name that you don’t really notice until you hear it. A lady in one of my pregnancy classes was going to name her baby [name]Reuben[/name] and yes, I did give that name some consideration after I heard it! I actually think [name]Reuben[/name] is on the upswing, though probably a small one.

I would consider a traditional variant, like [name]Reuven[/name]. Or a similar-feeling one, like [name]Levi[/name].

Honestly were it my school friends I wouldn’t give a dang and would just use it but yours sound closer than mine ever were. We’re not using the names of our best friends (two different couples, my best friend and husband’s best friend) or overlapping with my cousins, even if my cousins DID snatch up several good names between them.

I’d use it. So what if someone else I know used the name? If I love it, then I’ll use it. My cousin just had a baby and named her [name]Genevieve[/name]. That’s one of my favorite names, and I’m still considering it even though she’s already used it.

I don`t think this is tricky at all. Names aren´t exclusive to any one person. So super silly! Follow your heart and use the name you love. If they wanted their boy to be the only one on earth with a certain name they would have invented something crazy and not used a biblical name everyone has heard of. Your son will have his name forever, choose what is special and meant for him even if others have used it.

I went to a super small high school as well, so I understand what you’re up against. If it were me, I wouldn’t do it–the name is too unusual. I don’t know about your situation, but for me another consideration would be that even though I’m not in touch with my school friends, my parents are still in the same small community with my classmates’ parents, so it might be awkward for them, too. Still, you might love the name enough to use it anyway–[name]Reuben[/name] is a great name. I guess it depends how sensitive you’d be about it–would you feel embarrassed every time somebody said something like, “it’s so unusual to have two people in our class with babies named [name]Reuben[/name]!” or would you be able to laugh it off and say, “I know–we both have such great taste!” ?

A friend of mine was in just this situation! She adored [name]Tobias[/name] and wanted to use it more than anything, but a friend from high school–who she only communicated with online by that point–used it first. My friend agonized over it, not wanting to be seen as a copycat or a name poacher, and ended up going with her second choice name. Fast forward to today, she’s lost touch with her friend (something she never thought would happen), [name]Tobias[/name] is still her favorite name, and she has lingering namer’s remorse over her son’s name.

Bottom line: if it was the name I loved best, I would use it. It really doesn’t matter to me what people I only interact with online do, no matter how close we used to be, or what people outside of my immediate family and closest RL friends think of my naming choices. [name]Reuben[/name] is a lovely, well-established name. I see no reason why two people from the same, small graduating class couldn’t both have Reubens. You wouldn’t be copying them–it would just be a case of great minds thinking alike.

I had a friend who liked my son’s name [name]Liam[/name]. When she was expecting, she said they weren’t sure on names yet, but they had a few they liked, one of which was [name]Liam[/name]'s. She asked if it would be too weird if she used it. I said no. She didn’t end up using it, but I was flattered that she asked. Your friend might not mind and may in fact be flattered that you liked the name she chose enough to consider using it yourself.

I think if you love it then you should use it.

I don’t think I would care if someone used the same name as me, but some people might. You could always ask your friend, and if she says no, then go for it. If she is upset, you can make a list of the things you like about [name]Reuban[/name] and look for another name that has a lot of similar features.

I agree with goodhope (above poster).