[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! My sister-in-law is currently pregnant with her first, I’m not but we’re TTC. I think our naming style is very unlikely to be similar, but there is a strong possibility that she’ll use a family middle name, which I would also love to do. We are a very close knit family and spend a lot of time together. If she uses a family middle name for this baby, is it weird if I then use the same family middle name on a future baby? It’s very unlikely the first names will be the same.
It’s absolutely fine! Some say it is unimaginative, but I disagree. Several of my cousins and siblings share middle names…there are only 2 of us who don’t, myself included. I often wish I shared one of their middles. It has given them a lot more to bond over than just blood.
Maybe you could do a variation. [name_m]Say[/name_m] the name was [name_f]Donna[/name_f] you could use [name_f]Martha[/name_f] as it also means lady. It’s okay as long as she’s okay with it but she may not be.
I’d still run it by her, but I tend to give things more of a “pass” when it’s in the middle spot. Most people aren’t aware of others middle names unless they put it out there. I share a middle with my cousin; I don’t really care that we both have it. If you had [name_f]Chloe[/name_f] [name_f]Marie[/name_f] and she had [name_f]Zoe[/name_f] [name_f]Marie[/name_f] it might be a bit confusing; however, I don’t think that’s a valid reason to avoid names your love or an honor name. You could just use nns or pet names at that point.
My brother’s middle name became my cousin’s first name 8 years later. It’s not a big thing because the name has a historical use and is my dad’s and my grandfather’s middle name. Though I agree with the other posters, run it by her.
I don’t see a problem with it at all. If we have a boy, it is 99% certain he will share a middle name with his father, grandfather and two cousins. Everyone in the family should feel free to use family names, no need to ask permission.
Not an issue at all…even if the first names are the same. [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of families (mine included), in the past and currently (and will go on in the future), have used the same name among family (first and middle names). If someone has an issue with anyone (family, friend, neighbor, stranger) using their name, they are the ones with the issue. Names are not owned by anyone, there is no such thing as name stealing.
My family is very close-knit as well, and most of the girls have the same middle name (me, multiple cousins, grandma, etc.). We’ve never had an issue. Unless either of you plan to call their child by their middle name often, I don’t think it’s a problem. [name_m]Even[/name_m] then, it’s only hard if both of your kids go by their middle. I think you will be absolutely fine. If you love the family name, go for it!
I think it’s fine but it does depend on your attitude about it. What I mean is my mil’s name is [name_f]Anne[/name_f]. My sil gave her daughter the middle name [name_f]Annette[/name_f] to honor her mother. Years later my bil used [name_f]Anne[/name_f] as a MN for his daughter and made it very clear to everyone that HE spelt it right and"really" honored his mom with the name while implying that his sister didn’t. So it’s pretty lame in my opinion but it’s been a bit of an issue.
It’s a middle name, doesn’t matter. You don’t even need to talk to her first. Family names are special, it’s nice to carry on names and you should use the name that has the most meaning to you.
It’s fine unless you’re both using a double barrel ([name_f]Jane[/name_f]-[name_f]Marie[/name_f] and [name_u]Lisa[/name_u]-[name_f]Marie[/name_f] would be a bit weird as cousins).
Thanks for all your feedback! No, it wouldn’t be double barreled first names or the same first name - I think our taste is extremely different and the only chance we’ll clash is because we both value family names as middle names.
While I generally disapprove of cousins sharing the same/very similar names, if the same/very similar name in question is a family given name, then by all means, let them share it. Your child should not be less able to share a family name just because their cousin, like others in the family, has that name. It might be better not to keep quiet about your intention though.
When it comes to family names, I think they are fair game. I’d run it past her just to be polite, but she is no more entitled to an honor name than you are. [name_f]Ann[/name_f] is a family name for me, and I another family member recently named her baby [name_f]Annamarie[/name_f]. [name_f]Annabel[/name_f] is still on our short list, though. And those are first names.
It’s fine. I don’t even think you need to run it past her. The name doesn’t belong to her any more than it belongs to you.
It’s perfectly fine! I share the same family mn with two of my cousins (we are a big family, so that’s not saying much). But we have very, very different fns (E., G., and A.) so it’s not a big deal at all to us. In fact, the youngest, G., actually really likes having the same mn as us.
Several men and women in my husband’s family share the same middle name (and some even share first names). I think it’s perfectly fine. It’s a family tradition, and a middle name is something completely different than a first name.