This is really random, and a long post, but as part of the [name_u]Berry[/name_u] community this gets to me sometimes, because names are a big part of culture.
Some of you may have seen some of my comments in the past that I’m a second generation Greek Canadian. So I was never actually raised in Greece, but I still know the Greek community here as I was still raised by my parents who would take me to Greek school at the Orthodox [name_m]Church[/name_m].
Despite that, my whole life, I have never actually liked Greek Names . I’m not talking about names like [name_u]Maria[/name_u] or [name_f]Georgia[/name_f] , if you catch my drift. I don’t know how else to put it.
I’m not sure if I am the only one facing this kind of disconnect in culture/ cultural identity. But everytime I come across Greek baby names, I want to love them so badly, but it can be so hard.
It makes me feel like I am hating where I came from, even though I never technically came from Greece. I really want to share my struggles in connecting to my heritage through names, because it feels like such a gray area that I’ve never seen anybody talk about, so it makes me feel alone somewhat, like I am not… functioning right? I don’t know if that even makes sense.
But perhaps there are other Berries that can to a degree relate with my struggles, and then they won’t have to feel alone.
Sometimes when I’m thinking of names and realize that none of them are Greek, or even within that region of Europe, it makes me feel like I’m not being authentic, and it makes me feel kind of ashamed, like I should love the names in my culture, but it just doesn’t happen. It makes me feel distanced from my heritage even though it’s part of my identity.
I have never actually talked to anybody about it, but I feel safe to make a post about this kind of thing here, because all of the [name_u]Berry[/name_u] community is linked by the love of names.
I really just had to get it out, because as I try to make combinations, lately it has really been bothering me.
Anyways, I love all you guys, and hopefully somebody can relate and feel a bit better that someone understands.
yes, i get it! gosh, the way i despised any portuguese names - it only changed for me when i moved out of brazil. i guess distance and time does make the heart grow fonder. i still don’t love most of it, but i have a much bigger appreciation for it all now. and instead, i now hate the names where i live, that i used to like before i moved 
but then i think about how most if not all portuguese names are just adaptations from other languages, nothing is actually native to it. there are some native brazilian names in brazil that are quite popular, but it feels wrong because cultural appreciation, so i’m just all kinds of confused.
now i’m mostly feeling guilty about not liking most hebrew names, because i want to appreciate it, and heritage and meanings and all the things, but i just can’t. i can’t stand most of them and i feel so bad 
I totally understand- I’m Ukrainian Canadian and am also super active in the culture (I have been doing Ukrainian Dance since I was five, and my family practices Ukrainian traditions and celebrations.)
There are some Ukrainain/Slavic names that I adore, like [name_m]Feodor[/name_m], [name_m]Ivan[/name_m], [name_m]Taras[/name_m], [name_f]Oksana[/name_f], [name_f]Zlata[/name_f], Maria…But many I feel like I should like and don’t. Two features of names that I’m super picky about is the letters K and Y- I tend not to like them in names… Since many Slavic names contain these letters, I feel turned off by them even though I really want to love them! When I see a Y in the middle of a name, I think right away- made up spelling (like [name_f]Chrystine[/name_f] or Mayvis) when in reality Kalyna and Khrystyna are traditional, classic names. I don’t want to change the spelling of classics, but I really don’t like the look of them!
On a different note- names have become more difficult recently with the conflict in Ukraine. For example, I’ve had people tell me that I shouldn’t like that name because it’s Russian. (???) So confused because these names are under the banner of Slavic and there is a lot of overlap. There is pressure to use strictly Ukrainian names, when I’m not sure those even exist?!
So thankful that you felt comfortable enough to share with this community! I think that even though this is something that’s been bothering you, it’s lovely that you are exploring it and taking time to share your thoughts!
[name_u]Lou[/name_u]
i have got indian, scottish & irish ancestry – and i completely relate with what you said. i cannot find any indian names to be honest, and ‘indian names’ is a broad category spanning many cultures and languages. but i can’t find one for the life of me. i don’t
feel connected with that side of my ancestry much and seldom talk about it for that very reason. i have been trying to embrace it as of late and research more on names, so i might eventually find something.
I’m [name_f]Asian[/name_f]. I hate [name_f]Asian[/name_f] names (in general).
[name_u]East[/name_u] [name_f]Asian[/name_f] names are simply one or two characters of the language (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc). You’d think that with bajillions of characters to choose from, everyone can have a name that represents them and their identity, right? Wrong, because all the parents pick from that same pool of words for virtues/symbols they want their child to bear in their life, causing all the names to simply get lost somewhere in the mismash. [name_m]Even[/name_m] the more unique names are because the parents went to fortune tellers or something-for one thing, they aren’t even bothering to pick their own child’s name (which bothers this namenerd), and for another, the names usually just get outright weird at this point. This extends to pop culture, where instead of meaningful monikers that can even allude to the fate of a character (see [name_m]Remus[/name_m] [name_u]Lupin[/name_u], or Succession and @sophiekihm ), characters are given… gag names. (There’s this Japanese show-which I love-where the protagonist’s name directly translates to ‘unknown person’. Just… what)
While I’m not opposed to [name_f]Asian[/name_f] parents wanting to bestow virtues and blessing upon their child with their name, I wish they understood (again, from a namenerd’s perspective) the impact of names on one’s life and identity, instead of just having their child get lost in the sea of similar names in their class. Like maybe this is part of the screw-being-unique-just-earn-money culture, but at the same time, the point of your child having a name is so if you yell it in a crowd, they’re the only one who will turn their head. The fact that English-speaking countries is taking a step towards uniquely identifying their children using their names (I even made an entire post about this not long ago) while [name_f]Asian[/name_f] countries aren’t is just… slightly infuriating, to say the least.
[name_f]English[/name_f] is pretty widely spoken in my area, so a lot of people have a name in my language and a name in English-where the phenomenon extends (so we’re going to have a year of 150 people and 4 or 5 people named [name_f]Natalie[/name_f]. or Charlotte.) In fact, I think that’s maybe why I got into names in the first place-I practically jump when I hear a cool name I’d never heard before irl.
I have a bunch of other grievances about my culture-for various reasons-but I’m just glad to hear I’m not alone.
(PS another thing that I roll my eyes at is when characters or people in NB BNGs have an [name_f]Asian[/name_f] first AND middle name. I don’t mind if someone has a [name_f]English[/name_f] first+Asian middle or vice versa, but like I just said, [name_f]Asian[/name_f] names are made of characters. We don’t have middle names. These people are the reason I do research before I name characters from non-English-speaking countries.
i agree with you! italian names just don’t speak to me the way they should. i’m in touch with those roots the most, so while i have a lot of polish blood and enough polish names, italian just doesn’t connect with me for the names. i’ve grown up in an italian community i just hear them so much. i know a julia, a giulia, a giuliana, a juliana, a lucia, two luciana’s, three luci’s… etc, etc. loads of cecilia’s, gianna’s, isabella’s! and i think a lot of italian or italian adjacent names are so popular nationwide, like isabella or gianna. and the associations are so close to me— like i have drama with a maria, i’ve been in fights with gianna, and there’s THAT annabella. they’re just too familiar for me to really like them. 
I think you need to let go of the assumption that you need to like those names! This whole post felt rather odd to me as someone who’s fully Greek, from Greece. I don’t love most Greek names either! There are a few that I quite like, but they don’t make my favourites list. And that’s fine. Liking the sound/look of a name has nothing to do with how authentically you are or aren’t a member of the culture, or about secretly hating it. [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of Greek people (from Greece) like foreign names, and it certainly doesn’t make us self-hating or any less Greek 
And especially for you, I wouldn’t expect you to have some innate attraction to Greek names? You don’t live in Greece and I don’t know if you speak the language fluently. You’re under no obligation to feel a certain way about names from the Greek language. Cultural identity isn’t really about names anyway! I have two cousins who live abroad: one has a very American name but speaks Greek and is familiar with Greek media, music, etc., and one has a Greek name and a pet with a Greek name, but doesn’t speak Greek or interact much with the culture - I’ll let you guess which one I think is “more authentically Greek”. It’s not about showing off your heritage by naming your baby [name_f]Evelina[/name_f] over [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u], what really matters is a genuine emotional connection with the culture. And needless to say, I don’t think anyone from Greece would expect someone who’s not from here to want to use Greek names just because their parent(s) or grandparent(s) are Greek. That whole idea of “using a name from x culture because my ancestry is from there” is a very USA/Canada thing as I see it. No one will judge you for just using the names you like most, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of!
As an Asian-American, I do agree with this! I’m not a huge fan of the names or naming style in [name_f]Asian[/name_f] countries. I do feel obligated sometimes to like them, but I really can’t. A lot of Chinese/Korean names (my nationality) are really short and to the point, and while I know [name_f]Asian[/name_f] parents often choose their child’s name with care and think about what it honors.
I also have a very stereotypical Chinese last name, and I really don’t like how it’s so common. I especially don’t like how people look at me sometimes and just start trying to guess my last name. [name_m]Just[/name_m] because I look the way I do doesn’t mean I’m bound to a certain name.
But I’ll also agree with what @tallemaja said, about not being obligated to like a name just because it’s from your nationality. You should never feel like you have to like or be something that you aren’t just because of how you look or where you come from. Of course, if there are names from your nationality that you love, by all means go for them! But once again, you should never feel like you have to do something just because you look, speak, or live a certain way. You’re you, and that’s the best!
I understand what you mean. [name_f]My[/name_f] heritage is [name_u]Irish[/name_u] and [name_f]British[/name_f] but most of my favourite names are from other cultures (like, for example, [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f], which is Greek but is widely used in former Soviet Union countries too). It’s not that I don’t appreciate my heritage - I do. It’s just that most common [name_u]Irish[/name_u] and [name_f]English[/name_f] names don’t appeal to me since I’ve heard them so many times. I’m under no obligation to give my child a traditional Irish/English name like [name_u]John[/name_u] in order to prove my heritage. There are lots of other ways in which you can teach your child about your culture and history.