Curious about adoption

When I have kids, I have always wanted to adopt at least one of them for various reasons. Partially because I just think it is a great thing to do to bring a child into a loving home.I am curious about the different kind of adoptions and the impact it has had on your life (I’m assuming all positive; it’s a wonderful thing!) Please share your stories!

I haven’t adopted yet but its definitely something I’d like to do in the future. I think its a very admirable thing to do :slight_smile:
You should speak to [name]Ashley[/name] (ashthedreamer), she’s hoping to adopt her first child in the next couple of years.
Good luck!

I hope to one day be a foster mom and possibly adopt thru foster-care. I know you can find info about fostering thru your states website.

Would love to adopt once my children older, I think it’s a wonderful thing to do! A few years a go my cousin couldn’t conceive due to medical issues and was devastated so turned to adoption. She is now a proud adoptive mummy to two children who she adores. Adoption changed her life and she still says she would recommend it to anyone.

[name]Nikki[/name]

Is it difficult to be able to do as far as money goes?

I haven’t done it yet, but as soon as I read the title I knew I had to reply! I’ve always been extremely passionate about adoption and orphans and even before I had headed into the writing field I had seriously considered opening an orphanage somewhere or something.

I don’t have a ton of knowledge about it yet as I’ve had little time to look into it… I’ve been neck-deep in homework and projects for the past four years, as I just graduated from college in [name]December[/name]. But I have talked to a woman who has started the adoption process who is also in my state (Pennsylvania) and she’s helped me understand a bit about how it works.

There are really three ways you could go when you adopt–you can adopt internationally (which can cost as much as $50,000 per child), through the American foster system (I’m assuming you’re in [name]America[/name]… if not, this info might not apply), or you can adopt infants. Going through the foster system is definitely the cheapest–it doesn’t cost very much at all, and in some cases if you foster-to-adopt, you could end up getting paid to adopt the child(ren). From what I understand, adopting an infant is somewhere in between, maybe around $20,000 at the most. I haven’t looked at the figures in a while, but that’s the numbers I am remembering, anyway.

There are some organizations that provide loans and grants to parents interested in adopting… the only one I can think of off-hand is http://www.showhope.org/. A [name]Christian[/name] singer ([name]Steven[/name] [name]Curtis[/name] Chapman) adopted 3 girls from [name]China[/name] and knew firsthand how expensive it could be. He felt so passionately about it that he created Shaohannah’s [name]Hope[/name] to help finance adoptions for other families. I’m sure there are other organizations out there that do the same, too, though!

I’ve talked to parents who adopt and sometimes they will have lawyers involved… I haven’t gotten to that stage yet but I’m seriously considering going through an adoption agency. I’m considering using [name]Bethany[/name] [name]Christian[/name] Services–I just prefer to go through a [name]Christian[/name] organization I trust–but there are dozens of others out there. My dad just sent me the link to another adoption agency a couple weekends ago called Nightlight [name]Christian[/name] Adoptions… I’m currently considering them as well, but I will probably go through [name]Bethany[/name]. They have offices near where I live as opposed to NCA, so I’m guessing contacting them would be easier.

I honestly don’t know that much about it, haha, but hopefully what little info I have so far helps. :slight_smile: I also know you have to become certified to become an adoptive parent… I think there might be more paperwork and such involved if you’re fostering-to-adopt. From the person I talked to about it, the process takes about 6 months at the most and is fairly painless. :slight_smile: I figure I’ll start that in about two to three years, and hopefully I’ll be able to bring my first child home 3-4 years from now. I have to find a “real” job first, though. While I would love to be a mom right now, I don’t think I’m quite ready for it, and I definitely need to get a job and start paying off my student loans, though, haha.

Here’s a website that might be helpful: http://www.adoption.com/

It has links for the adoption rules in different states, adoption procedures, costs, etc. Probably a good place to get started. About five years ago, I looked into the adoption procedures for my state on a whim and from what I can remember, costs for adoptions run anywhere from $3,000 to $40,000 (or more) and you’re usually on a waiting list for two to five years. I have some friends who adopted last year (older child, foster kid) and I know they were on the waiting list for about a year and a half.

We adopted two little boys from [name]Kenya[/name] in 2007. We always felt called to adopt, from the beginning. We had a lot of people question us, as we at the time already had 5 children. It didn’t phase us. We got sent to [name]Nairobi[/name] through hubby’s job. Immediately we knew that is was more than just his work that we were there for. I volunteered in the orphanages, and had the unique and beautiful experience of meeting one of our sons at only 3 weeks old… he came home with me at 3 months and his adoption was finalized when he was a year and a half. our other son came home at a year old. Because we did an in country adoption, and at the time were considered residents of [name]Kenya[/name], our costs were extremely low. I did most of the leg work, myself, running to different villages, collecting papers and the what not. It was a full time job, but I knew the [name]Lord[/name] had big plans for these sweet boys. Since our adoptions, [name]Kenya[/name] has now signed into the Hague… this treaty makes foreign adoption even more difficult, and for most, close to impossibe. So sad, as [name]Kenya[/name] is a country with such need! While we lived there I knew one woman who opted to adopt from Ethiopia, there laws were not as strict, and her adoption was much quicker. I also have an aunt who recently adopted two beautiful children from [name]Russia[/name]. The process wasn’t too long, but it cost a fortune. All this to say, I believe for those of us who can in whatever way bring a child who needs a loving home into our family, we should do it… just was Christians are the adopted sons and daughters of the [name]Lord[/name]. It is not just a principal but a biblical mandate that we help care for the orphans. For some this means through adoption, for others it may mean through donations or mission trips. Adoption has been a beautiful thing for our family, and we have went on to have two (with one more due in [name]May[/name]) since the adoption of [name]Levi[/name] and [name]Isaiah[/name]. Our children have such a different prespective on family, on giving and being open to other cultures and places. I think it has been such a blessing!!! I wish you all the best!!!

Thank you! It sounds wonderful! I think personally, I would like to go through foster care one day; it just seems to fit me best for several reasons. (and yes, I’m in America)

I also plan to adopt. The problem for me seems to be that I’m not religious. All adoptive parents I know of - primarily through blogs - are [name]Christian[/name]. That seems to be the case on this thread as well. Does anyone know of any non-religious adoptive parents out there?

I also hope to adopt someday, assuming I have the room and can afford it. Unlike most of you, I would much prefer to go through international adoption - it may be more expensive, but from what I understand, you are far more likely to end up with a baby or small child if you go the international route.

[name]Danielle[/name] so pleased and interested to hear about your journey when adopting your sons. I have been on a mission trip to [name]Russia[/name] where I met lots of wonderful children. It was so hard to leave the orphanage as we all became very attached to the children in our time there and our hearts wanted to adopt our favourites and bring them home to Australia. However, it was not to be and Australia does not support adoption of children from [name]Russia[/name]. There will always be a part of me in [name]Russia[/name] and I would love to revisit the orphanage.

All the best to the people who think it may be their calling to adopt, just remember it is a big commitment so prepare yourselves in all ways before you make a final commitment to adopt.

rollo

Honestly, I don’t think it should matter… I know mostly [name]Christian[/name] adoptive parents but I do know a few who are not [name]Christian[/name]. If I were looking to find adoptive homes for orphans, religion would probably be my last concern. I would be more worried about if the parent(s) could financially provide for the child, whether the child would be nurtured/be loved, whether the child would be a good fit with the parents (with disabilities, personal insecurities, etc.)… I mean, I obviously think my religion is important and I’m glad to see so many Christians are concerned about adoption because I believe it’s a great way to live out the [name]Christian[/name] faith, but if I heard an agnostic/atheist family adopted a child, I wouldn’t be horrified–I would be delighted that another orphan found a family! I hope that makes sense, haha.

" just remember it is a big commitment so prepare yourselves in all ways before you make a final commitment to adopt."

  • rollo

Dear rollo :slight_smile: I could not agree with this more. Matter of fact there was a wonderful article I read not to long ago about why people shouldn’t adopt. In our case one of our sons whom we adopted we later found out has special needs (blind in one eye, speech delay, hypotonia, and several other things)… You have to be prepared for absolutely anything, and even then you are not prepared. In the end our boys have blessed us beyond measure, and I can see how the [name]Lord[/name] has used them to teach me a multitude of lessons. :slight_smile:

[name]Non[/name] religious adoptive mommy here! We adopted our son through foster care and brought him home at 2 years old. [name]One[/name] thing I’d like to point out though, it is NOT all positive experiences. If you go into adoption expecting it to be all positive, you are not at all prepared. My son rejected me for almost 2 years after we brought him home. We aren’t 100% sure why, but we suspect it was because he had 11 foster mothers in 2 years and to him, women are not stable. He bonded depply and immediately with my husband. I however was a first time mom, had quit my job to stay home with him, and now had a child who refused to let me hug/kiss him, hold him, or acknowledge my presence at all when dh was around. It wasn’t until our second child was born and ds1 saw me taking care of the baby that he started calling me mom and allowing me to be physically affectionate with him. It was a [name]LONG[/name], hard road and even now, because of the first two years of no physical affection, I feel that we aren’t as bonded as we should be. I love my son very much, and I’m not trying to discourage anyone from adopting. But it’s important to understand that adoption is not always easy. I completely agree with the quote above! It is a HUGE commitment! And it can be wonderful, just don’t expect your child to run at you with open arms and call you mommy on day one. Good luck!

I have a friend who is from [name]Canada[/name], her and her husband were also in [name]Kenya[/name] through their jobs. They are not christians, they adopted two beautiful children, also from [name]Kenya[/name]. Being a follower of [name]Christ[/name] is not a requirement to adopt, but as a [name]Christian[/name] I will say through it all, my faith and my [name]Lord[/name] have gotten me through some very tough times!!

Have a good support system in place, you are going to need one, and I think that is true of anyone who adopts! Wishing you all the best!!

On non-religious/[name]Christian[/name] families adopting, the first thing that I thought of was [name]Charlotte[/name] from Sex and the City! I grew up going to school with two kids that were adopted, one from [name]China[/name] and one from Guatemala. They were [name]Christian[/name], but not overly so. Being [name]Christian[/name] had nothing to do with them being adopted.
As for me, I DEFINITELY want to adopt. I’m a huge advocate for HIV adoption, both international and domestic. If I adopt, though, I would go the international route.

It’s definitely a far-away thing but I think I would be most interested in American foster care. Like I said, one way is so better than another, just what works for a specific person best. I would [name]LOVE[/name] to work with kids in third world countries as well and help in some way but there really isn’t much I can do right now, especially for financial reasons.

I don’t have any experience in adoption, but I don’t see why religion should play a part? It’s not as though being religious makes you a better person than someone who is atheist! In fact I don’t like it when parents force religion upon their children, I will let my children grow up to decide for themselves what they believe in, rather than bringing them up to believe what I do. I say this because Catholicism was forced on me when I was younger and I feel strongly that this was not healthy, and it didn’t work anyway as I’m not Catholic now!

On another note, does anyone know if you can adopt if you have mental health issues? I have bipolar disorder, and although I am stable, I wondered if this would affect my chances of adoption? I only ask because certain people don’t like people with illnesses such as mine to be around their children at all, so it would make sense if you couldn’t adopt.

I grew up Catholic and I am happy with it, other people are not, and I respect both ways. I followed my parent’s believes for the most part, so I think usually, if you don’t bring your children up religious they won’t pick a religion later in life. (which is completely FINE!) i think everyone has the right to believe or not believe in things so you are completely right, but other people are as well.
as far as mental health issues go, i would think it would depend on the severity of it, and what kind of adoption you are looking for. i think it is completely wrong and ignorant to “not like” someone with bipolar disorder, so the only reasons would be entirely medical.