[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all,
I’m having a minor panic about what it will be like to have two children. To be honest I’m not so concerned about the little baby months as you can always put a baby in a safe place and be sure that even if they are crying for a few minutes, they are not going to hurt themselves, plus when you are out they can be easily confined to a pram/carrier. But how on earth do you deal with two children on your own once they are both mobile?
I was looking after my daughter and her cousin who is almost exactly 2 years older at a family event this weekend and I guess I didn’t really realise the level of supervision that an almost 4 year old can still require. I thought a 2 and a 4 year old would be pretty manageable but we were in an outside playground and they were going in different directions, falling over, crying about different things, making conflicting demands. I had a flash forward to when our second kid learns to crawl/walk/climb 
Especially as Freyja was a slow developer in this regard and is still physically quite cautious - what if this one is an early-walker daredevil just as she is getting more adventurous? Surely it’s mostly OK at home if you childproof things appropriately but I’m having visions of just never being able to leave the house alone with both children.
My ray of hope is that the cousin only just got a baby brother so she is not really used to being a big sister in the way that Freyja hopefully will be by the time she’s that age. Also the cousin really doesn’t need someone watching her at all times in most situations, so maybe I’m overreacting and 3/4 year olds are not that hard anyway. My almost 2 year old definitely still needs almost constant supervision outside the home and she hardly ever willingly consents to use a pushchair or sit in the trolley at the supermarket etc anymore.
What have I got myself into??
I know exactly what you’re talking about! My first pregnancy I was very excited about my first little baby and then we found out they were TWINS and I spent the next few months in a constant state of panic because I thought my life was over and we would never leave the house 
Now that I am way outnumbered the best advice I can give is that it all works out! Yes, the first few years require a lot more patience and supervision. I have been in Target with one hungry toddler and one angry toddler who won’t move until he gets a toy and I have had to leave my cart and carry both of them out kicking and screaming. Those times are rough but they go away! You will quickly develop a system
@jackal - my second little was born just shy of two weeks ago, and I too am a little panicked about how to handle it. My husband just had 9 days plus two weekends off from work and so was able to be home to help me. Today he left for out of town work for 5 days and 4 nights. It’ll definitely be an interesting time for me this week. I know that it’s completely do-able as my friends have 3 kiddos each and they make it work, so hoping I will eventually develop a system that works for me too as the previous poster mentioned.
First of all get yourself some pregnancy tea and put your feet up.
The first thing do is make sure my house is super safe and the baby cant get bigger kid toys and I can close off sections. Secondly every child is different. Your experience with two children will not be your experience with another two. You learn about your specific child and go from there. Sometimes there ARE things you can’t do. So may times I’ve said no to the playground because one child hasn’t bee listening and I don’t want a battle. You teach them to ride in pushcarts… the day you say no you can walk is the day they’ll think they now walk and have outgrown them. Theres so much change in children as they grow and you do have to supervise each one all the time yes, its different but oddly you’ll notice the baby doesn’t need as much as you though with your first. youll be fine and happy.
For me there’s always a moment when my husband goes back to work after postpartum leave and I’m like, oh s***, what was I thinking and how am I going to deal with this? It’s a hard moment but it does pass.
Your daughter will have her ups and downs as far as adapting to life with a sibling, listening to you, etc. [name_m]Just[/name_m] be as patient with her (and yourself, most of all!) as you can. The baby will be fine–you’ve been there, done that, and their needs are relatively simple for a long while.
I always tell people this but it really does help a LOT to have someone come over once a week or more to help you.
I will try to come back to this later and add more thoughts but the bottom line is that it will be somewhat stressful, you will be okay, and then you will have a hard time remembering life before two kids.
I know this isn’t the same but in terms of supervision I have a lot of experience. As a Kindergarten Co-Educator, I am able to be alone with 10 children at one time, when I started out it was really daunting. I didn’t know how I would ever cope. Sheer terror would’ve be another word for it particularly in situations like bike riding etc. But anyway, you learn to divide your attention, identify any risk to any child in the room/space and obviously intervene immediately. You make your expectations clear in an age appropriate way by indicating where they can play, what’s acceptable, what’s not and so on. It’s really simply. Once you’ve laid that ground work, re-iterating it if necessary is important, but if they continue to push the boundary remove them from the activity. Where I am when the children confront each other, we ask what the problem is, before asking “What’s the solution?” sometimes an apology is also necessary. Or even a time out to sit and think about how they’re feeling.
Something else I do if I am being whined at or what-not is I tell them, “I am turning my listening ears off for now, I’ll turn them back on when I hear you use your words.” Sure, sometimes they have accidents, they fall over, off a bike, hit their heads etc. Finding ways of balancing out their desires in terms of where they want to play is simply explaining that we all need to share, so we’ll play here and then move along to the next activity. A lot of this has to do with positioning, if you are positioned in a way that makes them completely visible to you, this will eliminate a lot of anxiety.
In terms of cots/cribs, high chairs, prams/strollers etc. I know that people have conflicting feelings on them (which is totally fine) but for me, I think that keep in them as long as you can. It eliminates so much of the stress of chasing after them. Obviously when they’re scaling the cot all the time that’s a problem; but otherwise I personally don’t feel there is a reason to transition them to a bed straight away. It adds security knowing where they are and they aren’t wandering off at all. An added bonus when you’re caring for more than one child.
Anyway, hope this helps, goodluck!
Thanks for all the reassurance and advice I am sure we will figure things out, you’re right! I was just having a minor wobble.
As regards pushchairs etc, I think they are great but my daughter does NOT. She has always hated being confined for an extended period of time - even before she could walk her patience for things like the carrier and the car seat were always very limited - after about 20 minutes she was always done and wanted to get out, whether that was possible or not. We still can’t drive all the way to the grandparents’ house without crying and that’s only about 40 minutes away.
Now that she can walk if you strap her in a pushchair or trolley you have less than 5 minutes before the wailing to get out and walk starts. I could insist but I prefer not to press the issue because after all it is better for her to walk and we have fun in the supermarket finding all the items and putting them in the basket, even though it slows everything down. I just factor in extra time for stopping to look at drains or picking dandelions. With one child this is easy enough, but you bet I am hoping that little brother is more amenable to being strapped into things! Strangely enough she would love it if I carried her everywhere in my arms, but that is not going to happen! I’m too pregnant and she’s too heavy for that nonsense.
Jackal–just a side note: I really like [name_m]Johan[/name_m] and [name_m]Matthias[/name_m] from your list!
Thank you 
We won’t decide until after the birth, but at the moment I am quite convinced that he is probably Matthías!