DH and I don't agree on naming #3

We have 2 children and are now expecting #3. We’re having a boy. My DH is determined to name him [name]Benjamin[/name], but I’m not a huge fan. I’m not a huge fan of nicknames and have tried to give my children names that can not be shortened. Our last name is Heasley.

Our DD is [name]Elise[/name] [name]Marcella[/name], [name]Marcella[/name] is my middle name
Our DS is [name]Owen[/name] [name]Christopher[/name], [name]Christopher[/name] is my husbands middle name.

If we do go with [name]Benjamin[/name], I was thinking [name]David[/name] (my Maternal Grandpa’s middle name) or [name]Peter[/name] (no family connection) for a middle name.

I really like [name]Declan[/name], that would be my choice. I like [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name].

Which name do you like best? Any other suggestions? [name]Do[/name] we need to have a family name since both of our other children do?

I actually like [name]Benjamin[/name] as a whole, not with nicknames, ‘[name]Ben[/name]’ seems so overused. I do prefer [name]Benjamin[/name] over [name]Declan[/name]; only because someone I knew sung the carol ‘deck the halls’ as ‘[name]Declan[/name] halls’… [name]Silly[/name], I know.
But, can I suggest putting [name]Benjamin[/name] [name]David[/name] on the table with [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name] and either waiting until he is born or have both you and your husband spend time saying/writing/using the less preferred name.

[name]Even[/name] with my preference, I think [name]Declan[/name] goes with your children’s names’ the most :slight_smile:

I think [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name] sounds great. I also think [name]Benjamin[/name] [name]David[/name] sounds great. Two very good, strong boy names! If you don’t like the name [name]Ben[/name] however [name]Benjamin[/name] may not be a good choice. Although I know of an [name]Alexander[/name] and they call him by that. No [name]Alex[/name] for short! So if you did go with [name]Benjamin[/name] just make sure to call him by his full name and most likely people will do the same!

I do like both but I feel that you really should give this baby a family middle name because both your other children do. I prefer [name]Declan[/name] with your other childrens names.

This is tough! I think [name]Benjamin[/name] is the best fit with your childrens’ names. [name]Declan[/name] is a great name, too, though.

I think [name]Benjamin[/name] will get nicknamed (and I say that as an advocate for not nicknaming traditional names like [name]Catherine[/name]). I’ve never met a guy who usually went by [name]Benjamin[/name], not [name]Ben[/name]… I don’t care for [name]Ben[/name] in your sibset since [name]Ben[/name] and [name]Owen[/name] are short and share half their letters…But [name]Benjamin[/name] could work if you might find another nickname from it you like, like [name]Jem[/name] or [name]Jamie[/name] (both are nice!). I really like [name]Declan[/name], too.

I would use a family middle since the others have one.

I may be in the same boat as you, minus the daughter. (We find out gender of our second on [name]Saturday[/name]). We have a son named [name]Owen[/name] too (though he is [name]Owen[/name] [name]Charles[/name] which is my husband’s middle name). And my husband likes [name]Benjamin[/name] too, which I am not a fan of because I don’t like names that can be shortened. And I know people would shorten it to [name]Ben[/name] and I don’t like saying [name]Owen[/name] and [name]Ben[/name] in the same sentence. They sound too similar because of the -en ending, I guess.

I love the idea of another family name as a middle name and am hoping to do the same myself. [name]Declan[/name] isn’t my style exactly, but I think it is nice name. But it doesn’t sound as great with your family name unfortunately. Good luck!

Well, you don’t have to allow shortening of the name. I have a [name]Bennett[/name] and he is NEVER [name]Ben[/name]. Family tried that one a few times and we quickly put a stop to it. That being said, [name]Benjamin[/name] is a nice name. So is [name]Declan[/name]. I love [name]Elise[/name] and [name]Owen[/name] by the way. [name]How[/name] about:


I think I like [name]Benjamin[/name] [name]David[/name] and [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name] equally. So I’m not much help, am I. :smiley:

The problem is that the reason I don’t like [name]Benjamin[/name] (Nicknames) is the reason DH wants to use it. He wants to call him [name]Ben[/name].

What do you think of [name]Declan[/name] [name]Edward[/name] (Husband’s Grandfather’s Middle Name)?

[name]Elise[/name], [name]Owen[/name] and [name]Declan[/name] are on my favorites list! [name]Benjamin[/name] is a name I love but popularity matters to me and it’s just too popular for my taste. It’s a classic. I personally love the nicknames [name]Ben[/name] or [name]Benji[/name]. I’m thinking more in terms of the fact that your first two children have middle names with family connection and then [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name] would have no family connection. Poor [name]Declan[/name]. :confused:

Obviously, [name]Declan[/name] [name]Benjamin[/name] sounds weird. [name]Declan[/name] [name]David[/name] doesn’t sound bad, but it is quite heavy on the ‘d’ sound.

What about [name]Declan[/name] [name]Bennett[/name]? Otherwise, I say try and find another family name that flows better with [name]Declan[/name] that you like - perhaps something on your husband’s side so maybe he’s more agreeable to give up [name]Benjamin[/name]. :wink:

I love [name]Declan[/name] [name]Peter[/name]!! [name]Declan[/name] [name]Edward[/name] is fine too, but I just love how [name]Peter[/name] sounds!

Ooh, I love how your and your husband’s middle names were passed on to your children. (BTW, my grandmother’s middle name is Elise and my best friend’s middle name [from junior high school] was Marcella.) Now, on the topic of your dilemma:

Of the names you are considering, my personal preference for them is this order:

Benjamin David
Benjamin Peter
Declan Peter - Declan is a name that I am only beginning to warm up to, but there is nothing wrong with it, and I can see the appeal.

If you truly do not like Benjamin, you should not have to settle for it. Is there a chance your husband will warm up to Declan or can you try to find a name you both love?


Peter Benjamin
Gavin Peter
Gavin David
Gavin Edward
Landon Peter

If the reason why you don’t like [name]Benjamin[/name] is that you don’t like names that can be shortened, then I don’t necessarily think [name]Declan[/name] is the name for you either… I’ve know 3 and they get called Dec.
I prefer [name]Benjamin[/name], but either match you other children’s names beautifully!
Good [name]Luck[/name]!