So I found out this morning that we’re having a boy and I won’t lie I was kind of upset. I felt a sense of disappointment I so desperately wanted a girl. It took me some time for the initial shock to wear off and now I’m so incredibly excited to be a mom and have my little boy! Am I the only one who felt this way? I almost feel like I was wrong for being bummed even for those few minutes.
I didn’t, but I feel like I would’ve if I had found out my first was a boy. I thought she was a girl, and wanted a girl (even though I would be fine with a boy!). I’m a little scared I’ll be disappointed if #2 is a boy, I’m not even TTC yet and already imagining another girl. I do want a boy eventually though, I just think of girls more I guess? I don’t know. Anywsy. Totslly normal, don’t feel bad!
Normal, very normal. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry about it. Enjoy your little guy! Boys are awesome.
Yup! I was convinced I was having a boy since early on so it was a shock to learn that we were having a girl. I had to completely change my mindset as I had imagined doing more boy stuff. Picking out her name and decorating her nursery helped a lot. I think if we waited to find out her gender at birth I would have been quite disappointed. Now I can’t imagine having any other baby than my [name_f]Alice[/name_f]! I’m sure you will get excited soon enough and you will just love your little guy to pieces!
Sure, I think it’s definitely very normal. I know there are people out there who really genuinely do not have a preference but I suspect the people who do have at least a slight preference would outnumber them. It’s not to do with thinking boys or girls are better, it’s just the family you imagined for yourself. I always imagined I’d have a boy first so when I found out she was a girl I was a little disappointed. And I do feel lucky that our second is (very very likely to be) a boy as I don’t want more than two kids and I am glad I will have a daughter and a son. Though part of me is still a bit sad that my daughter won’t have a sister. I don’t have a sister and even though I love my brother I guess I’ve always romanticised sister-sister relationships a bit because they seem like when they are good they are so special. So apparently it’s possible to get your preference and still be disappointed when it comes to the finality of the last child.
Obvious disclaimer: my daughter is amazing and I love her more than anything and I’d never trade her for a boy
You might have a daughter in the future. You might not. The sure thing is that you will adore your son and he will be the most wonderful child you’ve ever met [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t feel guilty, you’ll be over it before you know it (sounds like you already are!).
I didn’t have any preference, but I had always imagined the baby within me as a boy. I couldn’t tell you why - but I assumed that my ‘feeling’ and imaginary child being a boy meant it really was a boy, so I kinda just assumed.
Finding out it was a girl… I wasn’t upset it was a girl, but I was sad that I’d never meet the little boy I’d been imagining when I thought about the baby. I felt like I’d lost him, in a weird way? It didn’t take me long to get over it though, I just had to adjust my mindset because I was so used to imagining a little boy. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. I try not to imagine my future children as any particular gender now.
I’m glad I’m not alone with my feelings! I did feel a bit guilty afterwards like it was wrong for me to be upset. Now as I start shopping for clothes and things like that I get more excited. I also think I was hesitant to have a boy because my younger brother has Down’s syndrome. His is not hereditary (though I’ve read some are), but it still was in the back of my mind “what if” luckily baby boy is healthy as can be
We always wanted a baby boy and when we found out that it is a girl for the first and second time for both our daughters. We felt a little bit disappointment but not long. The most important thing is to know that your baby is healthy and normal. Gender is just a bonus.
I think that this is entirely normal! I’m sure that with time you’ll get used to the idea of a boy and all will be fine. It sounds like shopping is already getting you part of the way!
Of course, if you find after your son’s birth that you’re still feeling disappointed or disconnected from him, please don’t be afraid to seek a doctor or mental health professional’s assistance! Postpartum depression is a very real thing.
Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!