Difficult Husband

Girl Names
1

Hello. I’m not sure what I’m actually asking for with this thread, perhaps I just need to vent. I am 4 weeks from my due date, and freaking out about a name for our little girl. I have been keeping name lists since I was 14, and DH and I have been talking about names since before we started trying to get pregnant. Well, by “talking” I mean I spout off a bunch of names, and he says “that’s ok” or “NO!”. In the past 8 months I have failed to get him truely excited about any name. I thought we had agreed on [name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] until last week…

Out of nowhere DH has gotten really excited about the name [name]Elizabeth[/name]. He adores the idea of calling her [name]Lizzy[/name]. To add to his excitment, we just got relocated to Elizabethtown, [name]KY[/name] (he is in the military), and he is taking this as some sort of “sign”. We will be here for the baby’s birth, but then relocate again two months later, so I’m not really worried about [name]Elizabeth[/name] growing up in Elizabethtown. I like [name]Elizabeth[/name]…it has lots of nn potenial, and a great history, but I was sort of set on [name]Gwyneth[/name]. I like the meaning of [name]Gwyneth[/name], and the fact that it is uncommon. I’m afraid that if we wait to pick a name when she is born, I will be one of these people with name regrets. I’ve wanted nothing more then DH to get excited about a name, and there are much worse names for him to get excited about…but do I give in? Should we just start over? Oh, I should probably mention that I demanded full naming rights for the the middle name, [name]Susannah[/name], which he isn’t crazy about. Now I sound like the difficult one. Help!

2

I can’t really offer any help…but your post caught my eye because I am having almost the exact problem with my DH.

We are 10 weeks away from our due date. I spout off countless names and (the same as you) all are met with “it’s ok” or “no, I don’t like it” but he hasn’t come up with anything on his own.

ok, to be fair he has come up with a few names but nothing useable…here are his picks:
[name]Addison[/name] ~ too popular and I want something more feminine
[name]Samantha[/name] ~ once again, too popular and I don’t love “sam”
[name]Jessica[/name] ~ seriously? what year is it, 1982? I know way too many Jessicas that are my age to use this name
and, funnily enough…
[name]Elizabeth[/name] ~ I REALLY like this name …but for family reasons we have decided it’s better for us not to use it…at least not as a first name.

My picks are: [name]Viktoria[/name], [name]Eva[/name] (or [name]Yeva[/name]), [name]Anya[/name], [name]Elsa[/name] (nn [name]Elsie[/name]), [name]Mabel[/name], [name]Elenore[/name] and [name]Iris[/name] …as you can tell…we’re miles apart on the types of names we like.

I don’t really know what to do with him. I suppose I could just TELL him what her name is going to be but I really want him to be involved in the process. I have made an appt for a 4D ultrasound next week…maybe if he sees her little face it will inspire him to name her.
I look forward to reading the advice you get on this.
I hope it helps (even just a little) to know that you aren’t the only one with a difficult hubby :slight_smile:

3

[name]Elizabeth[/name] and [name]Gwenyth[/name] are both beautiful, classic names. [name]Elizabeth[/name], while popular, is timeless and if you do end up using [name]Elizabeth[/name] there are a number of wonderful (and less popular) nicknames that you could use. I think the main thing here is that your husband isn’t really feeling [name]Gwenyth[/name] any more and your child’s first name is something you both want to love and agree upon. Having both names on a short list and waiting until she is born is one option, though I’m not sure how helpful it really is. If your husband is really against [name]Gwenyth[/name] now that might not be very helpful at all. If you don’t love [name]Elizabeth[/name] though, it’s probably not a great idea to use it. Should you start over? Maybe, especially if there were any other names you agreed upon in the past. But that might just lead to more drama and frustration. Personally I think both [name]Gwenyth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] and [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] are beautiful options. If you really love [name]Gwenyth[/name] you could swap [name]Susannah[/name] with [name]Gwen[/name] or [name]Gwendolyn[/name] ([name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Gwenyth[/name] is a bit “th” heavy). [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Gwen[/name] or [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Gwendolyn[/name] are lovely options. Though you seem to really love [name]Susannah[/name] (which is lovely) as well. Let us know if you need any suggestions!

4

Make it [name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Lissette[/name] and he could call her [name]Lizzy[/name].

5

I can certainly understand how tensions are running high in this situation! Moving, a baby on the way, plus many other factors I’m sure, with name dilemmas on top of that can certainly be frustrating and frazzle-worthy.

If it helps at all, I don’t think growing up an [name]Elizabeth[/name] in Elizabethtown would be an issue. I’ve known Savannahs in [name]Savannah[/name], Jacksons in Jacksonville(s), and even a [name]Sienna[/name] in [name]Siena[/name], [name]Italy[/name]! And none of them that I know of have been teased about their names.

[name]Add[/name] to that that [name]Elizabeth[/name] is a very classic and traditional name, and it’s easy to imagine how there could be many Elizabeths in Elizabethtown who are not named for the town itself.

I do understand that it is appealing to have a far less common name, like [name]Gwyneth[/name] as opposed to [name]Elizabeth[/name]. However, I don’t think of [name]Elizabeth[/name] as a trendy name at all, but again, as a ever present classic, so I think of it as something that is always around through the ages, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Also, [name]Elizabeth[/name] is a name with tons of nicknames, so at least there is that if you wanna go for a nn that has a little more spunk and individuality to it.

Lastly, I think that if you’re not going to budge on the middle name, then that he doesn’t really like, you both need to like the first name and choose it together. I’m very into the egalitarian method of naming – both parents should get naming input, both should like the name, especially the first name.

But having said that, if you just hate [name]Elizabeth[/name], or it doesn’t seem right, you don’t have to let him strong arm you into it.

Maybe he didn’t like [name]Gwyneth[/name] as much as you don’t like [name]Elizabeth[/name], and you just need to find a new name that you both like. It’s not starting over again, because at least you know what you like and don’t like.

Some variant possibilities that are not as common as [name]Elizabeth[/name] itself:
[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] (can still have nn [name]Lizzie[/name] / [name]Lizzy[/name])
[name]Elspeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name]
[name]Elsbeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name]
[name]Elisa[/name] [name]Susannah[/name]
[name]Embeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name]
[name]Lisabeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name]

I don’t know if that helps at all, but good luck either way!

6

I am so sorry for your tough situation!

I have to mention that [name]Susannah[/name] is one of my ultra-favorite names, which I would use for a future daughter. [name]Gwenyth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] is stunning, and [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Susannah[/name] is BEAUTIFUL too!

You can’t go wrong with a gorgeous classic like [name]Elizabeth[/name]. It’s popularity is well earned. The only plus that I can see in [name]Gwenyth[/name] is that it may be a fresher, more distinctive, original-sounding choice. Perhaps you could point that out to your husband if you haven’t already.

The only other argument I can think of in favor of [name]Gwenyth[/name] over [name]Elizabeth[/name] is if your last name is especially long or contains similar sounds as [name]Elizabeth[/name] that may interfere with the flow of the name, which you could point out to your husband. [name]Do[/name] one of the names flow better with your last name?

Best of luck coming up with a name you are both happy with!

7

[name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Eliza[/name], nn [name]Lizzie[/name]?

8

Make everybody happy and name her [name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Susanna[/name] (i’d leave of the h since two other names end tha way) he can always call her [name]Lizzy[/name] if he wants too:)

9

Or…[name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Susanna[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]!

10

You both agree on [name]Elizabeth[/name] as the first name and yes that’s pretty its comes with many nicknames that came be less common if that’s what your looking for and modern like [name]Libby[/name] (My new name love:) I think demanding middle name choice is rude you should both agree and love it. Or to be fair do what my Great Uncle & Aunt did. They had two kids one named the first one the other the second. I think [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Gwen[/name] is cute nn [name]Lizzy[/name] [name]Gwen[/name] or [name]Libby[/name] [name]Gwen[/name] if you really wanted [name]Gwen[/name] in it. WDYT?

11

keep [name]Gwyneth[/name] but go w/ [name]Gwyneth[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] insted. He can still call her [name]Lizzy[/name]. My friend is [name]Sarah[/name] [name]Marie[/name] and her mom used to call her [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Jane[/name] every now and then as a nickname. She said she loved it but it just goes to show that you can nickname kids anything! Names for when they are in trouble, being silly, anything :slight_smile:

12

Haha! I completely understand your dilemma because my husband is the same way. The fact that he gets excited about a name makes me stop in my tracks and force myself to consider it.
In your situation, I would suggest seriously considering it. [name]Elizabeth[/name] is a beautiful classic name that will never go out of style or be too popular. It has a million beautiful nicknames ([name]Eliza[/name], [name]Lizzy[/name], [name]Beth[/name], [name]Ellie[/name] etc) and if he wants [name]Lizzy[/name] and you don’t, you have a plethora of other nicknames to choose from. While [name]Gwyneth[/name] is a distinct and beautiful name, if you have already decided that you will have final say on the middle name, you should be more flexible when it comes to the first name. You want him to be able to be excited about his daughter’s name and feel like he had a great part to play in naming her. Dismissing his (enthusiastic) input now might make him feel like you want him to be involved, but only when he agrees with you.