Based on the names I see out there, both on [name_f]Earth[/name_f] and on Nameberry (the named and the to-be-named), it seems to me that many parents are much more light-hearted in naming their girls than their boys.
Girls’ names seem to suffer from more misspelling/“creative” spellings than boys’ names.
Girls seem to be named more for flowers and trees and colors and gems whereas there seems to be a sense among many that boys need a more substantial, classic name.
I guess I would like to see the naming of girls treated more seriously and the naming of boys lighten up a bit. Less [name_f]Precious[/name_f] and [name_f]Bloodrayne[/name_f] and more [name_m]Lorcan[/name_m] and [name_m]Fenton[/name_m].
Comments?
PS Maybe it is that sometimes men become more invested in the naming of their son rather than their daughter? I don’t know, just wondering.
I don’t think it’s parents being more lighthearted, I just think with girl’s names, you have a chance to name them something a little more “cutesy”. When I have a baby girl, I know I want her to have a cutesy name, but I like mostly classics for boys. I don’t know why.
I think it’s because boys more often get family names, and because, apparently, it’s more important that a boy’s name sound professional and classic than that of a girl. In both cases it seems (to me) that a lot of parents think their sons are more important than their daughters, that a girl will just be jumping around the flower fields while being pretty so her name can be [name_f]Tallulah[/name_f] Honeybee while the son gets [name_m]Richard[/name_m]. It’s sexism.
I wouldn’t call it sexism, but a girl is usually cute, spunky, and princessy while boys are meant to be the head of a household and the level-headed person. Boys names are usually more professional for that reason.
Seeing as you’re 13 I’m not going to jump down your throat, but men are not supposed to be the head of the family and the level-headed ones. Men and women are equally important and responsible.
I’ll edit this, since [name_f]Ottilie[/name_f] got to the sexism before me.
I pick names based on the feelings they give me. Each name on my list makes my heart rate speed up a little bit, and gives me butterflies. Each combination on my list has a family name, whether it is the first or middle.
Yeah, we have the responsibility of carrying new life into this world. That’s the difference. You know that the original family structure was matriarchal?
Back to the original post, I do agree with you, OP. That’s my struggle in choosing a girls name since I’ve fallen in love with the boys name Ronan, which to me is a strong name but it’s not your stock standard classic, and is also so adorable on a little boy and handsome on a man. I want my girl to have an equally strong name, one that is still feminine but not too frilly in case she isn’t. There’s names I like but wouldn’t use because they don’t seem as… substantial… if that makes sense.
A lot of people want a cute, frilly name for their daughter but perhaps some people aren’t as imaginative for boys? For a long time I loved girls names much more because I thought there was so many more appealing options, where as with boys I thought I was limited to the classics or names like Isaac and Oliver (which are lovely but so common where I am). Then I found all these boys names I loved when I went searching! Perhaps that is some of the problem.
ETA: In terms of misspellings, that’s just something that frustrates me altogether! And I like my siblings to have names of a similar feel… I couldn’t have a Finley with a Diana or an Imani with a Thomas.
I feel like Ottlie already gave the best answer. I will add to this, that society also seems more forgiving of creatively named girls, then they are of creatively named boys. Probably because the reasons Ot named, but it’s easier to get away with, meaning that you get less negative feed back, naming a girl [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], then it is to name a boy [name_f]Clover[/name_f].
I usualy find creative names on boys a bit strange.
Honestly, I never tire of hearing A name like [name_f]Poppy[/name_f] or [name_f]Emmaline[/name_f] on a girl. It makes me feel enchanted…
and I agree a lot with blackcatsmeow, having a creative name may come off as a bit emasculating sometimes. But heck-it works when you do it right! Ultimately, it all depends on the person, but tbh, I still prefer the smart, handsome names like [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] that never get old .
I think there’s a study who found that mothers are more adventures with names, and often the ones who insist on certain names. And it’s almost proven mothers want girls and fathers boys.
So in conclusion, women spend hours thinking about names, mostly girls names, and think of boys names after they found they are having boys.
For example… me.
My list for girls are far more adventurous and once I didn’t even have boys list.
Piggybacking on sexism or perceived gender roles, I think that a lot of parents are more fearful of their boys being made fun of for a cutesy or whimsical name than girls would be.
Girls/women historically have certainly had to fight their share of battles for equality in society, workplace, family, etc., but boys/men have been victims of the same discrimination, albeit in less pronounced ways. While I think that we’ve made great strides in recognizing that girls are just as capable of doing “masculine” jobs, society is often a bit behind in recognizing the ability of men to do traditionally “feminine” jobs. [name_m]Just[/name_m] as it’s become more normal to see female soldiers and scientists, I think it’s more acceptable to name your daughter a traditionally male name like [name_u]Drew[/name_u] or [name_u]Elliot[/name_u]. Unfortunately, society’s not quite there yet with stay-at-home dads and boys named [name_f]Sunshine[/name_f] or [name_f]Garnet[/name_f]. There’s still a wide-spread expectation for boys to be tough, physical/violent, and logical, and preference for more “masculine”/classic names reflects that.
I prefer names with a history of usage for both boys and girls and my tastes tend toward the classic for both. But while I have observed a similar trend (people a little too quick to give girls horrifying names), I personally feel there’s much more leeway with boys.
As I’ve mentioned on previous threads, girls/women already face a credibility deficit when compared to their brothers (thank you, society), so there’s less room for error. I would be much more comfortable selecting a less traditional name for a boy (though I’m never picking something seriously out there) because he’s more likely than a girl to be taken seriously in spite of his name if people find it odd. A girl, on the other hand, needs a name that manages to be feminine yet competent, serious but not too boring, not too popular yet well-established, and smart but not nerdy or obnoxious. It’s nearly impossible to find names that meet all the criteria. The pressure to find the right girls’ name actually feels kind of overwhelming. You can name a boy [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m], [name_m]Theodore[/name_m], or [name_m]Hugo[/name_m], and it’ll be fine. You can give him a cute nn, and he’ll still be taken seriously. But girls…oh, girls’ names are hard!
I would agree there’s less negative feedback for the parents while the child is young, but the consequences to the child (who will someday be an adult) are a different matter. Actually, this widespread practice and the theories being bounced around here make me wonder if people are just not thinking about their daughters as adults. Maybe when parents (in general, not necessarily on Nameberry) are choosing names, they’re really only thinking about a little girl in a field of flowers and not that same girl’s law school application.
In retrospect, why do names really matter so much? I believe a person defines their name, NOT the other way around. I honestly believe that there are some graduate school girls named Mykhaila and some strippers named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]. Sure, life is easier with a distinguished and proper name. But your child’s life won’t be ruined if you name them something like Sparkal or [name_f]Heavynlie[/name_f]. For instance, think of a person you respect or admire very much. Would your opinion of them change if they were named Whiskeigh? My answer is no.
Re: Gender stereotypes and career choices, etc. - I think the difference is that women pursuing traditionally masculine life paths face more “vertical” discrimination (face challenges getting hired/promoted/etc. by the higher-ups, but less stigmatized by the public at large) while men pursuing traditionally feminine life paths face more “horizontal” discrimination (less likely to be discriminated in employment or by the higher-ups, but more stigmatized by the general public). In this case the men-in-a-female-dominated area probably have an advantage, since if you have a tough skin you can overcome the public’s negative comments but you can’t do anything (on your own, without legal help of course) about not being able to get your foot in the door if you have a boss that won’t give you a chance.
Back to the subject of naming, I do think that during the first century or so of the SSA records that was a major reason why there has been more creativity with girl’s names. During the late 19th/early 20th century wave of feminism the desire to throw out the old female stereotypes abounded, and hence why there was an interest in diversifying the name choices for girls but not so much for boys. However, come the 1970s-80s wave which pushed women into the general workforce, how a daughter’s name would look on a resume became essentially as important as how a son’s would; thus around that time we saw a regression for girls (but not for boys) from the general trend of the top names being given to fewer babies as time goes on (the 1960s and early '70s was when the gap on the percentage between genders reached a peak, and now we’re at a low [or maybe even a “negative/reverse” figure since at the very top of the list the girls now outnumber the boys, and there are actually more “modern” names in the boy’s Top 10 than the girl’s!]).
They have a superpower that not all of us can say we have!
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