I have a list of 25 names that I like, but don’t love. Can I go into labor with all of them or do I need to narrow it now? And if so, how?
I would narrow it down for sure! You can do a pros and cons list for each name. Before bed, my hubby and I would go through our list and talk about each name and eventually we realized that certain names had drawbacks. It slowly narrowed down our list and we were soon left with only three names left and a clear favorite.
Oh yeah, I wouldn’t want to try choosing from 25 names right after giving birth.
Maybe try taking out the ones who don’t really sound great with your last name and middle name choices, ones that you are only “liking” and not loving and then the ones that you don’t like the inevitable nicknames of? These are just some suggestions, I would make a list of qualities that are very important to you in a name and take out the ones that don’t fit those.
I wouldn’t want to go to the hospital with many more than 5 or so.
I’m actually a complete wreck after I have my babies. I am so emotional and am easily overwhelmed. I tried to plan my first son’s baptism right after his birth and I kept crying. I can’t imagine trying to narrow down a list of 25 names.
A few suggestions. Go through your list and give extra “points” to those that sound awesome with your last name. [name]Imagine[/name] your best friend/sister/boss etc uses each name what is your reaction to having the name removed from your list. Come up with middle names for each first names. Names that are difficult to find combos for can be eliminated. Names that allow you to use another favorite in the middle spot can get extra “points.”
Also, I’m not sure how close you are to delivery but taking a baby name break during pregnancy can help clear your mind. [name]Just[/name] let him/her be the baby for a few weeks and don’t worry about the name. I think sometimes the advantage some people find of taking a short list into labor is it gives them permission not to think about it for awhile and then to come back to it and make a decision with a fresh mind.
Narrow it for sure! My husband and I had a long list of names we generally agreed on that we created early in the adoption process. He wanted to wait until we were matched to choose a name or narrow the list. Well, we ended up being matched with a baby who had just been born, so we had to decide really quickly. In my experience, having a long list (ours was about 25 as well) is not very helpful. While we were able to cross off several names after meeting our daughter, no name stood out to us as her name. I’d go in with a few fn/mn combos, ideally no more than five. You can always be flexible if none of the combos feel right, but it’s good to make sure you’re really comfortable with your options before going in so that you don’t have any regrets from choosing a name that’s too common, or too unusual, or just not a good fit for your family, or that you can’t imagine saying over and over for the rest of your life, all of which may slip past your notice on a list that’s too long.
As much fun as it is to have a super-long list, I would imagine trying to narrow it down on the spot could be very overwhelming. In the pressure of the moment you may settle on something just because you can’t decide between too many choices, and later experience name regret and the frustration of wondering whether you should change it after the fact. I would suggest taking a top five for each gender (unless you already know you’re having a girl, although it’s still a good idea to have a favorite boy name or two just in case…I knew a family that had a girl even though all along every ultrasound showed she was a boy!). If you can’t narrow it down to five, I’d say ten at the most…anything more than that could leave you feeling totally stressed out when decision time comes.
My favorite way to narrow my long lists is to post a “how would you describe someone named…” thread, listing the names and asking for people to tell me what impressions they get from a name, what qualities come to mind. Not only does it give me a fresh perspective on how my favorite names are perceived (helping me fall more in love with some and seeing the drawbacks of others), it also helps me realize how I truly feel about the names. For example, if I’m getting really negative feedback on two names, and my reaction is to jump to the defense of one and concede the point on another, that tells me that I really love the first name and I wasn’t feeling the second one after all.
Good luck with your list!!
Thank you so much for all the advice, everyone. I’m going to start by narrowing it down to 15, which I don’t think should be too hard, then I’ll take a break and let it settle for a while. Then I’ll come back and try to get it down to 5 or 6. We still have 4 months to go so that should be plenty of time. I’ll post a “describe someone named…” thread soon.
What happens sometimes for me, is a certain name will appeal to me one week and the next week I’ll wonder what the heck I was thinking. Last time I was pregnant I was totally in love with the name [name]Shepherd[/name] for a boy. That lasted about two months and now I still like the name, but not nearly as much.
Yes and No.
Yes, because it certainly would be helpful to choose a name from a list of 5 rather than 25. Plus, you don’t even really “love” any of them yet. So I think it’s important to try and pick which ones you like the most.
No, in the sense that when you’re daughter is born…you might just know instantly what she should be called. You might just have that feeling that she’s a “[name]Lillian[/name]” or a “[name]Cassandra[/name]” or whatever. Still wouldn’t hurt to pick a top 5 though.
What’s hard for me about taking names off is that as soon as I do I think, what if that was the perfect name for her and now I’ve taken it away and have to choose one that isn’t quite right. But I guess I can always make a back up list in case none of the ones we’ve chosen seem right.
[name]Just[/name] because you take it off, doesn’t mean you can’t put it back on. Let’s say you go in thinking you’re gonna pick [name]Natalie[/name] because you have decided that its THE name. But then you daughter arrives and you go…“She’s not a [name]Natalie[/name]”, you can definitely go back.
I posted a thread to ask for help with narrowing it down and it’s been surprisingly easy. We’re down to 14 already! Keeping a list of the ones I’ve taken off to use in case none of the final choices seem right has made it easier. I know they don’t have to be off permanently.