Do middle names really matter?

In my family it is tradition to choose middle names that are “family” names. When I had my first child four months ago my husband and I carried on this tradition and named our son [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Michael[/name] - [name]Michael[/name] being his brother’s name and my late father’s name. Sounds sweet, huh? The problem is I hate the name [name]Michael[/name]. It’s so horribly boring. During my entrie pregnancy I loved the names [name]Henry[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name] and would have loved to name my baby [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Henry[/name]. But I chose tradition so I had to pick one name. So now, in thinking about conceiving baby #2 in the next year or so, I’m torn. [name]Do[/name] I continue with tradition because really no one ever hears anyone’s middle name anyway or just pick two names I love? No one in my family would be upset if I didn’t choose a family name so it really is my choice. [name]Just[/name] wondering what your thoughts are…

I think that you should choose two names that you love.

You’ve done your “duty” once and followed the family tradition. For your next child, you have earned the right to pick the names you love. And if members of your family are not pleased, too bad! Remind them about the middle name [name]Michael[/name]. Rules are made to be broken!

I think middle names do “matter” at least to the people who own them! I like the idea of using family names in the middle, but not at the expense of liking the name. I would not use a family name that I truly disliked. You should feel good about your choice or else pick something else.

BTW, [name]Michael[/name] sounds like a super special name in your family. It goes well with your son’s first name, and I’m betting that he will like it.

We had a similar predicament. DD, [name]Grace[/name] [name]Patricia[/name], was originally going to be named [name]Grace[/name] [name]Marie[/name]. But, I have the same feelings for [name]Marie[/name] that you do for [name]Michael[/name]. DH wanted to name her [name]Marie[/name] because his grandmother’s name is [name]Patricia[/name] [name]Marie[/name]. Since I dislike the name [name]Marie[/name] (especially as a mn), I suggested [name]Patricia[/name]. Family names are very important to us, but variations are entirely acceptable. [name]Grace[/name] is for my mom’s mn, [name]Ann[/name], which means grace. The names we picked for our next baby are [name]Meryl[/name] [name]Amelia[/name] or [name]Dexter[/name] [name]Paul[/name]. [name]Meryl[/name] has a similar meaning as DH’s mom’s mn, [name]Lynn[/name]. [name]Amelia[/name] is my great-grandmother’s mn. [name]Dexter[/name] shares the same initial as my dad, [name]David[/name]. [name]Paul[/name] is for DH’s mom’s first name, [name]Paula[/name].

You should never pick a name you dislike, but there is a way to honor family without being pigeon-holed into choosing from a handful of names. I also feel bound to note that both my brother and I are named for family. However, if he was and I wasn’t, I would feel upset about it. A lot of our family passed away when we were young and by having this link to some of them, it made our names more important to us.

I encourage you to think about using another family name, but I would never suggest you use a name that you dislike. Good luck and I hope I helped!