[name_m]Just[/name_m] wondering how much others opinions on your favourite names affects you? For example if your mother hated your picks would you still use them?
I find that I am closely guarding my faves for two reasons (so none of my SILs pull a [name_f]Rachel[/name_f] [name_u]Green[/name_u] and steal them lol) and because I find some people can’t hide their negative reactions to some. (I really loved the name [name_m]Killian[/name_m] until several inlaws told me it was too violent sounding)
Or when you find out a name is very ‘popular’ or ‘hipster’ do you stop loving it?
I’d be more concerned if my mother liked my picks. I’m generally an independent thinker, but I try to give due consideration to the opinions of others when warranted. I’d probably stick [name_m]Killian[/name_m] in the middle spot, or consider an alternate spelling, at least.
The only other opinion that really matters is my husband’s. I don’t plan on telling family our name choices; I think that is a bad idea. DH and I have thought long and hard about our choices (and we’re not even TTC yet) so I think they’re solid, and if my parents found out and disapproved of the names (which I don’t think they would) I’d probably just pull the “Who are you to talk? You named your kids [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] and [name_f]Amity[/name_f]” card.
As far as popularity goes, DH and I both prefer somewhat unusual names. We have decided not to use [name_f]Aria[/name_f] or [name_u]Arya[/name_u] because it is super trendy. So if I really think a name is headed to top 50 territory, I avoid it. However, our top boys choice ([name_m]Anderson[/name_m]) is more popular than I would like, but it is still our top choice because it has a family connection. I frame things in “One out of every X boys/girls was named this last year” terms. If I lived in a “hipster” area, I would care more about that, but we don’t; so I can pick a “hipster” name and still have it be unique enough for our child in our area.
As far as other peoples opinions on forums, I do take them into consideration with a grain of salt. Our top girls pick ([name_f]Mira[/name_f]) polls well here and on other sites, so that is a positive. But any name will draw negatives, too. I note the negatives when weighing options but don’t freak out about them, if I did, we wouldn’t have any names at all! Except maybe [name_f]Violet[/name_f] or [name_f]Imogen[/name_f] if we’re talking about NB opinions…(kidding)
Nope. Hardly ever. I value opinions and others thoughts (or I wouldn’t post here). I start really thinking about it when, say, 20 people tell me how terrible a name is, I take a step back and look at it again to try to figure out why everyone’s hating it. If that many people hate it, there’s a good chance I might move it to the middle because I don’t want my child to have to deal with that.
What I mostly let other people’s thoughts do is point out weird things I don’t notice. A recent example, I was asking for help on [name_m]Cornelius[/name_m] combos and had [name_m]Cornelius[/name_m] [name_m]Odin[/name_m] [name_m]Orpheus[/name_m] and [name_m]Cornelius[/name_m] [name_m]Odin[/name_m] [name_u]Gwyn[/name_u]. It was pointed out that [name_m]Cornelius[/name_m] and [name_m]Orpheus[/name_m] rhyme and [name_m]Odin[/name_m] and [name_u]Gwyn[/name_u] rhyme and now I don’t have those combos anymore.
As for my mom, she likes most everything on my list, actually. As a matter of fact, she loves [name_m]Wilder[/name_m] (a middle) and suggested [name_f]Octavia[/name_f]. If she really hated something, though, I don’t care. It’s my baby, not hers. If she wanted an [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] (that’s the one she keeps pushing me to use) then she should have named her son [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] (a bad example as my brother was adopted by someone else) or tried for another boy so she could have an [name_m]Arthur[/name_m]. If she really wanted an [name_f]Octavia[/name_f] or [name_f]Constantina[/name_f] (2 others she loves), she could have named me and my sister [name_f]Octavia[/name_f] and [name_u]Constantine[/name_u] (instead of [name_u]Angel[/name_u] and [name_f]Amber[/name_f], and I would have liked it better.) She’s also really trying to force me to use [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] Faelyn, but it’s not happening. My baby, not hers. She’ll learn to love the names I choose or find a nickname she likes.
And I don’t give one care to popularity. I have both popular and rare/obscure names on my list. I have [name_m]Damien[/name_m] and [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] as firsts next to [name_m]Roland[/name_m] and [name_m]Virgil[/name_m] next to [name_m]Osiris[/name_m] and [name_u]Loki[/name_u]. For girls, I have a [name_f]Persephone[/name_f] and I have on my list [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] and [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] (one in the middle) next to [name_f]Inanna[/name_f] and [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] next to [name_f]Sylvana[/name_f] and [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f]. I think when you love a name and it means something to you, you should use it and not care about how popular something is. That’s what nicknames are for. It’s not the end of the world if there are 3 [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]'s in a class. [name_f]Sophie[/name_f], [name_f]Soph[/name_f], [name_f]Fia[/name_f], Sia… Or so what if there’s tons of [name_f]Isabella[/name_f]'s and [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f]'s? They can all be [name_u]Izzy[/name_u], [name_u]Isa[/name_u], [name_u]Bell[/name_u], [name_f]Bella[/name_f], [name_f]Elle[/name_f], [name_f]Ella[/name_f], Sella… [name_m]Just[/name_m] use it!
We don’t share our name choices with anyone. We only reveal it once the baby is born - at that point no one protests our name choice. They just ogle over the new little one!
I care about my husband’s opinion on names. We adopted our son at birth and his birthmom asked us to name him. I cared about her opinion of the name we chose- we would not have used it if she had not liked it. We had several back-up names in case she didn’t.
As Dantea mentioned above, I also like to run names by people and make sure there are no issues that I haven’t noticed. This is great online, but also with my best friend who lives nearby because she will point out how some names are likely to be butchered with the local accent. If everyone hated a name I picked, I doubt I would use it. I’m not holding out for universal popularity, but if a name provokes a strong negative reaction in everyone who hears it, I’m not going to stick a person with it.
I don’t care about popularity at all. Part of this may come from having a less common name. I always thought it was really cute when other girls went by [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] B. or [name_f]Katie[/name_f] G. or whatever. I also don’t care if a name is really uncommon and people have never heard it before. Having a less common name that I have to spell for people just hasn’t been that big of a deal.
I do avoid names that seem to come out of nowhere and skyrocket to the top, mostly because I have not yet heard any that I like, but also because I feel like they will be dated really quickly. But then if I loved the name [name_u]Jayden[/name_u], I would use it.
I do value feedback but take it with a grain of salt. I’ve learned not to share names with my mom because she only like names like David, John and Mary. She thinks my names are too out there (except India which is a family name). When I told her we were thinking about the name Teddy, she told me everyone would think of the serial killer Ted Bundy. Also, my cousins have a Jazmin and Colton, so we have different tastes. But I will run them by friends and check nameberry. It has made me reconsider Jemima (still not ready for it in the US). But it doesn’t bother me if everyone doesn’t love the name. However, if everyone whose opinion I value says the same thing to me (like Jemima), then I do axe the name. I think it is ridiculous when people won’t get any feedback from anywhere. I mean, you aren’t the one who is going to have to go through life with the name, you child will. In the end though, it’s just me and my husband making a final decision once we have met our baby. So, although people have an idea of some of our finalists, no one knows the name (or gender!) until after the baby is born.
I happen to agree with your family about Killian and I believe most on NB feel the same way. Again, it’s always your decision but I think it’s best to make an informed decision and know the pros and cons of every name before using it.
I don’t use names that are too popular. So, Emma, Samuel and Jack are all out for me. I still like the names, I just wouldn’t use them. I know most of my friends with uber popular names (Jennifer, Jessica, Sarah, Amy) don’t like having popular names. Plus, I find it annoying to refer to each of my 4 Jessica friends by their last name when talking to my husband. But more than popular, the names I really dislike are the trendy ones.
Sadly, I tend to value other people’s opinions too highly. If my mother dislikes a name I feel crushed.
My absolute favorite girl name is a name I realize everyone in my family would laugh at. For that reason, I have an absolute favorite and then a top realistic name choice. I don’t want my child to feel like everyone hates their name.
My [name_m]SIL[/name_m] actually was going to use [name_m]Killian[/name_m] if they had a boy. I couldn’t get over “kill” no matter how hard I tried. [name_m]Cillian[/name_m] just looks so much more sophisticated.
When my sister revealed the name she was going to use for her oldest son, [name_m]Gage[/name_m]…my parents were very vocal about their opinions on it. They hated it. They were so vocal, in fact, that she decided to call him [name_u]Taylor[/name_u] towards the end of her pregnancy.
Once he was born, though, he just was [name_m]Gage[/name_m]. After only a few weeks, both of my parents admitted that they were wrong, that they loved his name…and that they couldn’t imagine him being [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], or anything else. (He truly is the total embodiment of the name, [name_f]IMO[/name_f]. Handsome, strong, quiet, extremely intelligent, social, athletic)
Because of this, the only opinions that truly matter are mine and my husband’s. I will most likely only reveal our choice for our daughter’s name once she’s born… they’ll be too busy doting over the baby to be fretting over her name. It’ll be too late to try to ‘convince’ me otherwise, they’ll accept and learn to love it, even if they don’t immediately.
On a side note, I love the name [name_m]Killian[/name_m]! I had a very good friend in High School with this name, and he wore it very well! I’ve heard others (on this forum) mention that it sounds violent, but it’s never evoked that image for me. It only sounds very, very Irish to me! As far as I can recall, it’s not something that was ever mentioned in our group of friends, either. Everyone loved his name! It’s on my extended list… quickly moving up to possibly bump one of my top ten!
Speaking to the issue of popularity, I do put some stock in the SSA list…although I tend to base it more on personal experience than a number on a list. I loved the name [name_f]Ava[/name_f], despite it’s high popularity according to SSA…until they started to pop up everywhere around me!
Also, I grew up with a less-than-popular name ([name_f]Agatha[/name_f], mostly [name_f]Aggie[/name_f]), and never minded the questions, or having to spell it, etc. Starting at a very young age, I sort of resented the names [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] or [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] - and was very thankful that I wasn’t one of them. These personal thoughts alone make me consider over popularity for my child. But this is really only for the top 20. Beyond that, I don’t think it’s an issue at all. And if I absolutely LOVED a name in the top 20…I don’t know if I could absolutely rule it out. I guess I’m not so firm in either direction!
I guess I’m the odd one out, here, cause other people’s opinions can really affect me.
I tend to care less about my family’s opinion; they’ll love my kid regardless of his/her name, and eventually the name will be tied to the person and they’ll come to love it too.
It’s the thought of someone hearing my child’s name and snickering or rolling their eyes that bothers me. I want to name my kids what i love, but i don’t want people to mock or anything.
It also is only more unusual names. I would name a kid [name_f]Imogen[/name_f] without any hesitation, but i would be much more hesitant to use [name_f]Xanthe[/name_f]. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though i love [name_f]Xanthe[/name_f] more, i also worry more annoy the way people would react to it.
I care about a name not being too popular but I also care about how the name will be perceived by most people. I don’t care so much about if individual people like it, even if they are close family, because you can never please everybody, but I know that I personally wouldn’t want a name that most people thought was really weird or hard to pronounce or spell.
I feel like I’m a fairly objective person, so outside opinions on my favourite names don’t matter to me. I also am 100% aware that my favourite names are not necessarily names I would use. Researching names is a hobby to me, so I’m going be digging deeper than the average person to find a stand-out option. It doesn’t mean common picks or bad, or that uncommon names are better. It’s all subjective.
My mom hated my absolute favourite boy name ([name_m]Edmund[/name_m]) when I first mentioned it to her in my mid-teens. I’m not sure if she likes it now, or if she’s just accepted that if I get my way if I ever have a son, she will have a grandson named [name_m]Edmund[/name_m]. She’s fine with it now.
My friends always wrinkle their noses if I ever mention favourite names of mine… and I have a hard time hiding my true reaction when they say things like “[name_u]Elliott[/name_u] is SO CUTE on a girl! Except I’d spell it Eliyette to be even cuter and more unique! I also love the name [name_m]Cole[/name_m]… with a K”
I’m 100% okay when they say things like “[name_f]Audrey[/name_f] is an old lady name.”
I will admit, if I really like a name and it takes off in popularity/visibility (like [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] and [name_f]Eloise[/name_f] have in recent years), then it does drop off my list more often than not.
I will also dislike names on principle of other people loving them, especially when it’s a popculture name, like [name_m]Atticus[/name_m], or [name_f]Katniss[/name_f] (it could just be the sounds in those particular two that don’t tickle my fancy, either).
I almost always can attribute someone’s distaste for my favourites as a difference of style, and nothing more. I’m not about to name my kid Starshine or [name_m]Albus[/name_m] [name_m]Severus[/name_m], so I don’t worry too much. I think I have a level mind to figure out what’s usable and won’t embarrass my kid, and what names I love as part of my hobby.
We never discuss baby names with our families. We know that we have a different naming style than some of our relatives, and I know that I can be pretty sensitive at times (especially while pregnant!), so it’s better if we just keep it to ourselves. If I feel we need to run a name by a third-party to make sure it’s usable, I ask anonymous strangers online. It’s somehow easier to not take the criticism personally that way.
I don’t worry too much about popularity. I mean, I would prefer that the names we give our children aren’t overly popular, but we pick names that hold special significance for us, so that kind of overrides it. We would use a name that was popular if it was the name that felt right. My husband seems turned off by the idea of a name he likes being considered a “hipster” name, but I don’t really care. We both have somewhat old-fashioned taste in names, so it’s bound to happen.
I like the name [name_f]Clementine[/name_f], and a few of my friends are like ‘‘clementine is like naming your kid orange’’, and ‘‘I am going to call your kid orange’’.
For me, it matters the reason behind their opinions. I don’t care if someone were to say “I don’t like the name [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] because I just don’t.” There is no reason behind their opinion, so I don’t really mind it. If someone were to say “I don’t like the name [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] because it is the name of a serial killer,” I might be a bit upset.
