This is a very good question, with lots of good answers. Thank you for asking this and thanks to those who replied. Your answers have really answered this question for me.
Nope! It’s 100% just a preference.
I think it matters to an extent, as others have said, the rhyming names, or the famous pairings ([name_u]Bert[/name_u] and [name_m]Ernie[/name_m], which, unfortunately for me, both [name_m]Albert[/name_m] and [name_m]Ernest[/name_m] are on my list), or the repetition of a letter as the first initial over and over would bother me a lot, and open for a lot of confusion/teasing, but, other than that, I don’t think it’s too big of a deal. I do sort of get a little bit anal about them though, but really, at the end of the day, my lists are all relatively in the same style (or at least, each gender has it’s own style), and, really, if I want to call my daughters [name_f]Florence[/name_f], [name_f]Elsie[/name_f] and [name_f]Minnie[/name_f], who’s going to really stop me? If you love the names, that’s all that should matter!
I think it is preference. I have three younger sisters, and us first three match. [name_u]Jordan[/name_u], [name_u]Madison[/name_u], and [name_u]Eden[/name_u]. all born in under four years. eight years after the youngest my parents had another and now we have [name_u]Bailey[/name_u]. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though it is unisex, it is a little out of left field considering her older sisters names are very similar in style.
Things change, and your taste changes. Plus giving each child a different feel of name makes them special. My youngest sister feels left out though, because her name does not end with and n like ours.
No, I don’t think sibsets are important. I am due with my third and one of our top names is so different from our first two. It’s the main reason I keep it on the back burner even though I love it. But I keep reminding myself that they are only a sibset for a fraction of their lives. They are three individual people that won’t be introduced as a set once they become adults. So who really cares if one name doesn’t match the other two? [name_f]Do[/name_f] I care because of what other people think or because it doesn’t roll off the tongue easily? I’m not sure! But I’m really trying to not let it affect my name choice for baby #3.
They don’t really matter that much. Unless you are naming kids [name_m]Robert[/name_m] and [name_f]Roberta[/name_f] or [name_m]Charles[/name_m] and [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] (actual twins that I now). However, if you name one kid [name_m]John[/name_m] and another [name_m]Ransom[/name_m], [name_m]John[/name_m] might want a more different name while little [name_m]Ransom[/name_m] wishes his was more normal.
I think they matter in that you don’t want to name siblings anything that rhymes ([name_m]Ron[/name_m] and [name_m]Don[/name_m]), anything that sounds too similar ([name_f]Kaylee[/name_f] and [name_f]Kayla[/name_f] or [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] and [name_f]Christina[/name_f]) or anything that has a well-known association ([name_m]Adam[/name_m] and [name_f]Eve[/name_f], [name_m]Luke[/name_m] and [name_f]Leia[/name_f]). Besides those things, no, I don’t think that sibsets need to “go together” or match stylistically. Also, what goes together is so subjective anyway that there’d always be someone who didn’t think the names were well matched. The only time I’d be worried about whether a new baby’s name went well with my other kids’ names would be if I had used a naming theme for the previous siblings. I would feel bad about giving three older kids themed names and then throwing the theme out for a fourth (ex, naming daughters [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f], [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and [name_u]Harper[/name_u]).
I think they matter a bit more to me than most people, as my brother and sister both received very classic names with conventional nicknames, whereas my name completely lacks nickname potential. Because my siblings went by nicknames, I grew up confused and often asked what my full name was (and thus adopted using my middle name on basically everything). So, for me personally, I want to be very choosy when naming my children because I don’t want one child to feel different from the rest of the set.
I think that sibsets are only really heavily discussed here on Nameberry and other naming sites. It’s only those who already obsess over names who get really stressed (or not stressed) over sibsets. For me, a sibset is important. I’m constantly thinking about it. 90% of the threads I have started have been about which names go with a name on my list as a sibset. [name_f]Do[/name_f] [name_f]Daphne[/name_f] and [name_f]Olive[/name_f] go together? What about [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]? [name_f]Do[/name_f] [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] and [name_f]Daphne[/name_f] go? [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] and [name_f]Olive[/name_f]? etc. I think about that constantly. “If I choose [name_f]Olive[/name_f], what does this mean for the rest of my children? What precedent am I setting?” I won’t chose [name_f]Olive[/name_f] and [name_u]Madison[/name_u] or [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] and [name_u]Brooklyn[/name_u]–the style and feel has to go.
I think it only matters with sibsets that really [name_m]DON[/name_m]'T go together, like siblings called [name_f]Mary[/name_f] and [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] (I actually know a couple who did this) or [name_u]Sam[/name_u] and [name_f]Ella[/name_f] (salmonella - again, I know siblings named this!)
I don’t think you have to go with all traditional or all modern names, if you have varying tastes then that’s fine. Plus people’s tastes change over the years and you might have kids with a fair age gap between them, so your tastes are likely to change between [name_u]Baby[/name_u] 1 and [name_u]Baby[/name_u] 2, 3 or even 4.
My husband’s name is [name_m]Klaus[/name_m] and his sisters are [name_f]Emily[/name_f], [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] and [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f]. So obviously, his name definitely doesn’t “fit” in his sibset (though his brother is [name_m]Karl[/name_m], which makes it a little better). He has always felt he’s stood out from the rest of his family and it’s obvious to everyone that his name is different, but he kind of likes it that way. He likes that it is not a name that you hear every day and that it is different than his siblings.