So my SO and I are not married, but we plan to be. He just had a lovely second cousin (girl) born last month. The issue? Her middle name, let’s just say “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]”, is what we have talked about using as part of the name of our own future daughter.
Since we are nowhere near the stage of life to be having children ourselves, we never mentioned it to anyone that “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]” was a name that we want to use. What I want to know is if anyone might think we’ll be “copying” if we choose to stick with our original name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though, (as far as we can tell) we came up with it first. We have since looked at other names and have found some alternatives that we like. My other wondering is if we end up going with one of our alternate names, will there even be a point in mentioning that it was not our original intent?
The children in question will probably only see each other on holidays, so yes of course I realize that everyone can deal with two children having similar names being in the same vicinity as one another for a few times a year. I’m sure I’m over-thinking this entirely, but I would appreciate some outside opinions.
If anyone is super detail orientated, we wanted a different spelling and placement of “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]” anyway. For example:
SO’s second cousin: [name_f]Amber[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_m]Smith[/name_m]
Our original name for a future daughter: [name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_m]Anderson[/name_m]. “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f]” being the entire first name and “[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]” as the middle.
I think given they’re only going to be together a few times a year, you’d be fine using “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f]”. Depending on what your family’s like though, it’d help to be prepared for them to call her just “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]” as a family nickname (she could still be “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f]” the rest of the time). You might want to talk to “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]”'s parents if you’re unsure, but honestly I don’t think you have to ask their permission. Especially if the name is something as common as “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]”.
I see no issue at all. It’s his second cousin, and the name you’d like to use part of isn’t even her first name, but her middle name. Plus, you say kids are a ways away for you, you may indeed change your minds! I honestly wouldn’t worry. Is this child called by her first and middle name? I share a middle name with two family members (not named after one another) and we are never called by our firsts and middles.
Oh I didn’t even notice that “[name_f]Jane[/name_f]” is the middle name! In that case I highly doubt your daughter would get called “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]” instead of “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f]”. Go for it!
I think it’s a non-issue. Go ahead with your “[name_f]Candace[/name_f]-[name_f]Jayne[/name_f]”! My cousin “stole” my boy’s name choice after my ultrasound revealed a girl and she asked what boy name I had picked. She warned me she would. I simply told her to use the name but be prepared to have another boy in the family with the same name, as I had chosen it in honor of my husband’s grandfather. I will use it without hesitation if I am blessed with a son, if hubby still wants. I hope it doesn’t ruffle feathers, but so be it!
I don’t think there is any issue here. By the time you want to use the name as part of a fn, no one will remember “[name_f]Amber[/name_f]'s” mn (except parents). I struggle to remember my cousins’ mn at all (and we’re all super close).