Respondents: 98 (This poll is closed)
Well, to me I think if it’s truly outrageous then, yes, try to slyly think of alternative that you think might suit there naming taste and be more appropriate for a baby/child/adult/elderly
As a name enthusiast, it would be hard to resist the temptation 
Of course, I would try to discourage them with a calm discussion of issues/problems/concerns that I have about their combo. [name]One[/name] should always be considerate and treat people with respect. I look at it this way: if a friend tells you their name combo and they KNOW that you’ve been studying names for years, aren’t they subconsciously asking for your opinion? If they didn’t care, wouldn’t they keep it under wraps until the birth certificate is signed? That’s what’s so good about Nameberry. You get people from all walks of life who are different ages and like different styles. You’re getting the benefit of people who can share certain images, facts, information and expertise. Nameberries can point out things that perhaps the parent didn’t think of in the course of their deliberation. Name enthusiasts usually are up-to-date with stats and trends and they know cultural associations that may prove embarrassing. [name]How[/name] many people have stated that “I wanted something [name]UNIQUE[/name] for my child”, proceeded to choose one of the most popular names around their neighborhood and then expressed “name remorse” because they didn’t realize that the name was held by ten other children on the block?
I definitely think something should be said, because it’s not like the parent is changing their own name to it, they’re putting it on a child who has no say. I think it’s important to give kids their best shots in life, and a challenging name can make things well, more challenging.
It’s almost never for a reason that’s THAT important that a kid needs to be named Khayleigh. Middle names a pretty much free game, do what you will sort of things.
I don’t know how I’d react, mostly because I’ve never been in a situation where I know someone who’s in the process of naming. With the exception of two of my cousins, and when my uncle wanted to name his daughter Heart, I told him how silly I thought that was, and my mother. He settled on [name]Haven[/name], which I love.
I would definitely say something if the name was inappropriate. If the name was the jumble of letters you mentioned, I would probably make casual suggestions of alternatives. For example, “Have you ever heard X name?” or “Did you come across X name in your search?” or “[name]Brielle[/name] is really pretty. Have you considered that for her first name instead?” In the end, people have the right to name their children whatever they want to. As a name nerd, I just can’t resist the temptation to interfere.
I would never say anything. Especially if they were absolutely decided. Although I have a very definite style for names I like and tend to be slightly judgmental about names outside my style (I’m getting better, though, since coming on here!), I remember how it felt when we were choosing names and someone close to me told me they didn’t like the name I mentioned – and that wasn’t even a name we had officially decided on. It felt awful and very sad. Also, I don’t know that I’d technically qualify as a full-blown “name nerd” just because I don’t have anywhere near the knowledge of names that most folks on here do. I have lots of trouble suggesting names when people ask for them in a post because I just don’t know that many out of my style range. So I wouldn’t really be able to figure out their style and make helpful suggestions – I’d just be saying “Eh. I don’t like that name. Maybe something else would be better.” which is kind of obnoxious.
To be honest, as judgmental as I can be about some names, I don’t think I really believe a name can make a break a person’s success. If a [name]Brielle[/name] or an [name]Elizabeth[/name] wants to be a lawyer and works hard, she will be a lawyer and people will respect her because she’s made herself what she is – not because of (or in spite of) what her name is. When I see a name like Khayleigh, I do tend to make a snap judgment about the parents (which may or may not be accurate), but never about the kid. I know almost everyone on here will disagree with me and I almost feel blasphemous for saying this, but ultimately, a name is just a name.
I’m not going to lie and say I love it, but I also won’t criticize or offer an alternative unless the name is still a work in progress and someone has asked for input.
I will however ask “oh, what made you choose that?” or something, because I’m nosy and love hearing the background story.
But for the sake of the poll, yeah, I’d say something if a friend wanted to name her child Hitler. (Or maybe Maelarya in your example, because that really sounds like malaria, but that would still be more of a question…)
In real life, in the case of friends or family I think its really best to stay out of it, its ok to to sugguest names or pick favorites out of a list but never “Oh that name is stupid…they will get made fun of…too popular” its a quick way to hurt feelings.
@catheyc I agree with you, if a person says the name is set in stone, even if it’s something so garbled and yooneek that I can’t stand it I don’t think I would say anything, I would just hope they changed their mind last minute.
That being said there are a few names like [name]Minette[/name] that I actively campaign against and I think if someone said they were going to name their baby [name]Minette[/name] I would ask if they’re aware that even though it can be used as a nn or for other things it also has sexual connotations (cunnilingus) which imo is a good reason not to use the name. I think even if they were dead set on it I would have to let it go and pray that if [name]Minette[/name] ever goes to [name]France[/name] people don’t give them grief and make sexual jokes about it.
I’ve been trying to change my outlook and let go of some of my past criticisms even though I still feel strongly about them.
I voted for “I would say something only if it was very inappropriate (ex: Hitler)”
In general if someone is telling me of a name they are considering giving their child and they are NOT asking for my opinion, I’m not going to be rude and tell them how horrible of a name I think it is. The exception being if it is really, really inappropriate like the name of a disease or something overtly sexual.
Many of my family members have named their kids names I didn’t like or myself would never use, but they weren’t disgusting or inappropriate names so I didn’t say a word other than saying it was an interesting name. I mean, if they want to name their kid after a city in [name]Florida[/name] where the baby was conceived, that’s their business and interesting enough the kids wear the names well, it ended up suiting them. So no harm done.
Now people giving me unsolicited advise [which I’ve noticed people are apt to do] and suggesting inappropriate and crapstastic names, all bets are off. I will flat out tell them that the name they are suggesting to me is horrible and why I would never name my daughter that. When you get people giving you unsolicited naming advise when you are pregnant, it does come off as offensive, particularly if you tell them the name you are thinking of giving your child and they bash it and suggest something cringe worthy. So I can imagine the mothers who have the opposite tastes I do in naming probably feel the same way, like its an attack on their unborn child if you, without being asked, start in bashing the name they picked out. So I don’t give unsolicited advise unless the name is disgustingly inappropriate.
I’m halfway between the first two. Like, I’d say something if I disliked the name because I considered it inappropriate for whatever reason. Basically, I wouldn’t object to an [name]Isabella[/name] though I might roll my eyes but I’d point out the foolishness of something like Uzbekistan, Accrington, Jamboree etc.
I agree completely. The problem is that I don’t know enough about names to provide any such insight. 
I did not know that about [name]Minette[/name], for example. Wow. If I were going to name my child something that had such connotations, I would definitely want to know, so I would share that knowledge (gently of course) if I knew something like that about the name.
Unless the name were outrageously inappropriate, like “White Supremacy [name]Power[/name] [name]Jones[/name]”, I would keep my mouth shut. Names are so personal and so individual. What is to say any of us have better taste than our friends/family? I think it’s pretty presumptuous to foist your opinion on someone who isn’t asking for it. What a boring world it would be if we all had the same taste.
I know a lot about French names or words people consider names, I’ve noticed that people think “ette” implies a name and sometimes offer input if I think it’s worth knowing but I’m clueless about half the ones I see on nameberry so I always google to see if there’s anything problematic
It is a very interesting question.
I always appreciate honest (tactful) advice so I would always aim to give it. Plus, I have also noticed that people who really don’t want to discuss their baby names keep them secret until the baby is born and it’s all done and dusted.
Ultimately, no name is really set in stone. If a name just doesn’t pass the resume test and it’s a problem, the child can always change it or go by a nn that does.
That said, a friend of my husband’s who is expecting a baby shortly told my husband his preferred baby name. It happened to be a name my husband HATES. [name]Diplomacy[/name] was completely out the window. My husband told him the name was awful, one of the worst doing the rounds etc. and his friend THANKED him. He was genuinely grateful for the honest (if passionate) assessment and decided to drop the name.
My mother in law called us just before we had our baby to tell us she hated our girl option ([name]Clementine[/name]) but that it was our decision. We just laughed!
I figure if you love a name, others won’t sway you but if you have niggling doubts suggestions are helpful!
I voted for option 2, only if very inappropriate. That said, my family was caught in a difficult situation when my brother and sister in law began sharing the name they intended to give their baby. It was awful in every way–bad with the surname, bad fit with the sibling, and an outstanding target for playground teasing. But in its own way, the name also adhered to some current trends and could conceivably be a starbaby name.
We were all glad the name was shared by phone, so that the horror could be hidden as least to some extent. We didn’t want to be critical, but also did not want our soon-to-arrive nephew to have that name. Much behind-the-scenes discussion ensued. Finally my dad asked why they chose that name, only to be told it was all a joke, they had never really been interested in that name. I know my brother well and I don’t think it had been a joke. I think that one of their friends either couldn’t control a facial expression or was brutally honest. We remain thankful to that person…
I’ve never been in this situation but unless it was something seriously inappropriate like “Hitler” I would stay out of it if they were dead set on a name. And even then I would only give a light-hearted opinion. It wouldn’t be my child so it wouldn’t matter if I liked the name or not. I personally think it would be kind of rude to do that with someone else’s child. I would give my honest opinion if a close friend was considering names and asked me what I thought, but otherwise I would be respectful. When I have children in the future I would hate if someone questioned what I was naming my child just because they didn’t like it.
I voted for stay out of it.
I know its hard to do that in some situations (Beleive me…my friend is planning to name her daughter DayZee ([name]Daisy[/name] with a bizzaro spelling) - her surname is [name]Day[/name]…seriously…DayZee [name]Day[/name]) - but I am expecting my first baby and as someone who has always been passionate about names, I was SO excited to get to plan out our childs name.
But, unfortunately for me, my taste differs from that of my family and friends. So when I have told people that I’m considering the names [name]Cadence[/name], [name]Malin[/name], [name]Bronwen[/name], [name]Fallon[/name], etc - they think its perfectly acceptable to say “Thats horrible, I hate that” - my sister even laughs out loud at the names we mention that we like, and tells me they’re ridiculous.
I find this VERY upsetting, because these are names that I [name]LOVE[/name] and have put thought into - so what gives somebody the right to bash it and tell me its not good just because its not to their taste?
I am constantly being “advised” to go with a name like [name]Emily[/name] or [name]Olivia[/name] - and I do find it really upsetting. I now dread people asking me what names we’re going to use, and I even went through a period of almost giving up and just agreeing to a mainstream common name to keep everybody else happy!
It sucks all the fun and excitement out of the experience, and its just not fair when you’re the one who is going through the pregnancy and the childbirth only to have people rain on your parade.
Of course, if a child is being a given a name that they will share with a disease or a historical figure of hate then perhaps a nicely-worded “Have you thought about the possible problems with that name?” would be acceptable - but if its simply a matter of a name not being something you would personally choose, I say leave them be.
I’d stay out of it unless it could be considered inappropriate. Though I think I’d phrase it very delicately. To use a pp example: “[name]Minette[/name], what an intriguing name. I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to use it considering it’s sexual connotations.”
That way they can either ask me about it or they can discreetly do research by themselves, or ignore the comment all together.
I don’t think I’d want people telling me what they think about my name choices unless I’d ask and so I’d approach any situation with the same philosophy. [name]Even[/name] if they told me their name choice or asked my opinion on the name they love, I don’t think I’d take that as the right to unleash my name-nerdness and personal bias on them without explicitly being told so.
We are talking about a face-to-face interaction with a parent-to-be, right? Not the semi-solicited message board advice? I’m trying to think of a name that could be so inappropriate as to warrant giving that unsolicited thumbs-down when you’re talking with the mom or dad in person. Given that I’ve never heard an expectant parent mention that they’re about to name someone Hitler, my take is that engaging in this kind of honesty is bound to be a thankless task. Put on your best “poker face” and say, “I can’t wait to meet him/her!”