[name_f]Do[/name_f] you ever get uncertain about your name choices? I know most of us have front runner names that we hope to use one day on our first child or use on the next child. Recently my husband and I have made a big decision to purchase a home much earlier than planned and will start looking in [name_f]October[/name_f]. This means we will be TTC much earlier than planned (fall of 2016) and I’ve been mulling over my name lists a lot.
We both love the names that are at the top of our list but I’m suddenly so worried about what other people are going to think of them. Especially if we have a boy since unusual boy names are so heavily frowned upon more so than unusual girl names. Has anyone ever had this problem with a name on your list? What did you do to sort of overcome it?
I’m sure most of this is due to just being a little stressed over the big changes that are coming in the next few months but I figured I would gather some advice as I’m sure I’ll have the same issue when I actually get pregnant.
Fox Thomas is the main name in question. If baby #1 is a boy when the time comes this is 99% likely to be the name.
I wouldnt worry about what others think. If you love the name, you give it to your child. After all every mother has had their turn to name their own children havent they? if you love those names and dont want to let them go, then dont.
I often worry about my choices. I love them, but I worry that they’re boring. I dont worry that others will think their boring, I worry because I know so many exotic, beautiful, stunning names, and I’m sticking to the safe ones. But at the end of the day, the safe ones? They’re the ones I love, they are the ones I want to give my future children. Why would I not use them?
[name_m]Just[/name_m] stick to your guns. You have a bit of time to mull over names anyway! :)#
I’m not planning to use anything super-duper unusual, but I don’t doubt I’ll get some looks even about my (by NB standards) rather conservative choices.
The more real it gets, the more it becomes less about fun/play and what you like and more about laying, on a human being, a sound they will hear every day of their lives. That’s a huge undertaking, and I think it’s wise to be a little nervous about it! It means you’re taking it seriously.
Looking at your signature, I think all of your girls names will be fine. [name_f]Azure[/name_f] is more unusual than the rest, but as you say, unusual girls names are somehow easier for people to accept.
For your boys list, I think [name_u]Max[/name_u], [name_m]Leon[/name_m], and [name_u]Kai[/name_u] would also be perfectly fine. [name_m]Fox[/name_m] and [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] will definitely get more looks and questions, but they’ll probably get more compliments as well.
Thinking ahead of time about how you’ll handle criticism or questions is important. For strangers, maybe you just decide to say “It’s a family name.” because you don’t even care to have the conversation. For family and friends, you know your relationships best. Maybe the best way is to not tell anyone the name you’ve picked until you announce it and then leave no room for argument. Or maybe you do want their input and are willing to budge a little. [name_m]How[/name_m] you approach it is half the battle.
Thank you so much for the encouraging words! Thankfully my mom is totally supportive of the names I’ve told her I am serious about but my dad and [name_f]MIL[/name_f] are another story. They’re both [name_f]Debbie[/name_f] Downers. My dad is the “well he will get beat up so he better learn to fight” type, which is so unrealistic in today’s world. It kills me because my dad named me a really unusual name, especially growing up when and where I did. I didn’t even meet someone with my name until I was 16 - and that was online!
I think being more knowledgeable about names compared to the average person makes it a little harder. When you know everything that’s out there it can be hard to really pick what’s best because you often know all of the pros and cons from browsing this site. For what it’s worth, I like the names in your signature!
I can see how you would get a few looks. The names in your sig are perfectly normal names but it seems like anything that’s not with the latest trend gets a weird look. That’s exactly what I think it making me nervous - now that things are moving a litter faster than I planned it’s hitting a little harder that it’s real. A real choice I have to make and not just a pass time online anymore. Obviously I still have a ways to go but the 1 year to wait is a lot shorter than my initial 3.
I think [name_f]Elowen[/name_f] will be the only questionable girls name but that’s because my family probably has never heard of it more so than they don’t like it. The boys I am super anxious over. Mostly [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] as that’s our #1 combo and I adore it. I just know [name_m]Fox[/name_m] is so unconventional and I made the stupid mistake of looking up onions online…terrible, terrible mistake. My DH is totally on board with it and doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it. I usually don’t either but I guess the reality of everything makes me sort of anxious. I think saying it’s a family name to strangers is a good approach. I definitely don’t want to tell anyone until after the birth mostly to leave my options open. My close friends already know my name choices though so no shock there. Thank you for such an insightful comment! I feel a little better about everything the more I think about it. Life is just getting a little too real I suppose xD
Can I just say I think [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] [name_m]Vaughn[/name_m] are gorgeous? Someone here who loves your choices
I think you should go ahead and use it. We’ve got a similar situation where we’ll probably go for our unusual boy name instead of the “safe” one because we just like it better (I especially like the nickname “[name_f]Indy[/name_f]” better than “[name_u]Andy[/name_u] or [name_u]Sonny[/name_u]”) I have run across a Dr with the first name [name_f]Gypsy[/name_f]…so apparently that didn’t hold her back in life too much. Others use their first initial followed by the middle name. I figure if our son really hates his first name, he can go by his middle, especially since it’s very “normal”, as is [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]. You’ll probably have a girl anyway, lol, since you’re mulling over this one…And [name_f]Aria[/name_f] doesn’t qualify as unusual these days imo. Best wishes.
Nooo you can’t abandon [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] or [name_f]Aria[/name_f] Estellise! They are some of my favourite combos on all of Nameberry.
On a more serious note, I do know where you’re coming from. My sister is very traditional with names, her favourites are [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_f]Helen[/name_f] and whenever I say a name I like, like [name_f]Demelza[/name_f] or [name_f]Octavia[/name_f], she looks at me with horror and jokes that no niece of hers would have such a weird name. It’s a joke, but it still hurts a bit because they are names I love and which have a lot of meaning for me and DH, plus I obviously want my family to love my kids and their names will be a huge part of who they are.
Honestly, I think that once little [name_m]Fox[/name_m]/[name_f]Aria[/name_f] is actually here, people will get used to the name really quickly because they will become habituated to it. My mum’s cousin caused a stir when she named her youngest kids [name_m]Jonah[/name_m] and [name_m]Jemiah[/name_m] - I never really understood what the fuss was about - but everyone got used to the names once there were actually children attached to them, and now they don’t seem strange at all. You might get odd looks from strangers but I don’t think that should be enough to put you off a name that you and your hubby really love.
Yes! My husband and I had talked about names for a while but once I got pregnant I kind of panicked - are we really going to put these names on humans that have to carry them around for years!? I’m due in just 17 days and the pressure is really on now! We did tell our parents the names recently and they all said they liked them but they’re all very supportive and I wouldn’t expect them to say if they didn’t.
Our names aren’t that crazy and I’m worried that we’ll regret not using them if we don’t. So…we probably will!
I think your names are great! My advice to you would be when you do get pregnant, pick 2 combos (one boy and one girl) and tell yourself and your husband those are final picks. Sit with those for a bit to see if they work for you (and the baby!). Then you’ll feel better prepared to commit I think, at least that worked for me. The multiple options and lists just made me more indecisive and felt more abstract.
I think we all second guess our favorites from time to time, that part is perfectly normal. I do agree that actually naming a baby is different than looking at names for fun, but my advice is this:choose the name that makes you happy and excited every time you say it. If others strongly disagree, tell them it’s not their son. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t name your child the name that you are crushing on that day. Choose one that you have like for a long time, can see yourself being a parent of one, and have thought over many times. Be smart. But don’t go the “safe but not fabulous” route just because you’re afraid of others opinions!
I will admit I am a name snob. But no matter how odd a name is to me if there’s a reason other then “I liked it” or “It’s cool” I can usually understand and except said name. If its a grandparents name or the name of the town you and your spouse met or something with a real meaning and value then after my initial judgment I’m able to come to grips and understand a name. While I do agree that you shouldn’t let other peoples opinions dictate your choice I do believe you should stop and consider how it will effect the child and later adult who will wear the name. He’s stuck with it forever. That being said when the kid is older they always decide to go by their middle name. Or you as the parent could consider giving them a simpler first name and save the “questionable” ones for their middle name. On the other hand, people with unique names tend to stand out and are remembered. In many cases I know people who are so synonymous with their name people talk to them and say their name just because its fun. The name becomes that person in a way. But the choice is ultimately yours really and the final decision should make you happy. Good luck with life and the big changes coming!
I worry a wee bit, mostly because I know my in-laws won’t like my choices. My [name_f]MIL[/name_f] was talking the other day about how old-fashioned the name [name_f]Rosalee[/name_f] is, as my [name_m]SIL[/name_m] is considering it. [name_m]SIL[/name_m]'s other choices were [name_f]Kyra[/name_f] and [name_f]Maci[/name_f] which my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] greatly preferred.
I actually have [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] on my long list, partly because I thought it’d be an easier sell than some of my others, like [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] and [name_m]Rupert[/name_m]. I really think it means I won’t be able to get my husband on board with any of my favourite names. (He wants to wait until we are pregnant before seriously talking names).
I know my family will love the names I’ve picked though, which helps. My mum named my siblings [name_f]Imogen[/name_f] Cl@ire and [name_f]Elsie[/name_f] M@e over 20 years ago, and got a lot of flack for her choices. Lately I’m seeing those exact combinations pop up here, and I see so many preschool aged Imogens.
I think your family will fall in love with the name [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] once your baby is here and you have named him. A NZ celebrity recently had a [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m], and that name has been received well.
Thank you for the encouragement! I was thinking the same thing, I want a boy first as I grew up with older brothers so I know I will end up having a girl. [name_f]Aria[/name_f] isn’t at all an odd name,it was more unusual when I first fell in love with it in middle school (2001-ish) but due to Pretty [name_m]Little[/name_m] Liars and Game of Thrones it is much more known. Funnily enough, a lot of people I have met that are very wealthy and successful have mostly had very unusual names. I guess I worry more about family being mean rather than the name being a hindrance. I’m sure these moments of weakness will pass
@pebbles320 You’re absolutely right! Once a baby is here everyone will get used to it. DH’s cousin had a baby named Tymber ([name_u]Timber[/name_u]) which I really disliked. Once baby was here and she was attached to the name I didn’t really mind it much. I think names, for a lot of people, kind of become the people in a sense. So saying you hate a name can sort of feel like the person is saying they don’t like the person attached to it. I know this often isn’t true but I know it can feel that way sometimes. It just causes self doubt sometimes so I’m glad I have NB and my DH to be supportive Also - I’m so glad you like my favorite combos! <3 Octavia Lorelai is lovely btw. Very commanding and powerful but still quite feminine
@flowermae I think having a million options will also make me feel a little panicked and stressed. I’ve slowly been making my usable lists smaller and toy around with the idea of it being a real person. I also think (depending on the gender of the baby) DH and I will do the name test where you order coffee or something that requires a name and give the name that you plan to use for baby instead of your name. I heard this helps gage the reaction your child will actually get with that name so you sort of put yourself in their shoes. Also, good luck on your little one! You’re almost there! <3
@teenberryo13 Thank you for the advice! My big fear is going with my crush of the day and just hating myself for it later. I get certain names that I just “love” for a week and then after that they sort of fizzle out. The top 2 combos we have had for a boy and girl have been on our list for quite a while, almost a year I think. Sometimes I think they’re “not enough” when I see some of the other NB combos, but I also try to remember it’s not a competition. It’s about what makes myself and DH happy at the end of the day (and hopefully, the little one when they’re older). I also see so many of my peers having babies and they usually have such trendy normal names that it makes me feel like the odd man out and causes me to feel like I’m doing my child a disservice by not going the “normal” route. Again, it’s a passing thing but sometimes you just get so in your head and go a little nuts! Especially since I’ve always been the odd one out, I don’t know why I sometimes care now. I guess because it doesn’t just effect me to be weird xD
@aliciadawn Thank you so much for the encouragement! I can be a name snob too although I tend to keep it to myself as I don’t want to be offensive to anyone (especially because 99.9% don’t give a crap as to what I think of their name choice). I definetly plan to really sit down and think hard about the names for the little one. I personally like having a unique name, and DH is fine with his totally normal name. He tends to dislike normal names for our future kids though so I don’t think I could pick a “normal” name if I tried!
@lilhan For what it’s worth I like [name_f]Rosalee[/name_f] ([name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] spelling is my favorite)! The nn [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is very modern and [name_f]Rosalee[/name_f] is so elegant I think. I like [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] It sounds so sweet and makes me think of trees and a beautiful field and forest. Your mom was ahead of her time, those names would be raved about today!
That is hilarious! [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m] is the actual name of [name_m]Fox[/name_m] Mulder from X-Files ([name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m] Mulder). I love it! It’s encouraging to hear that the name has been received well, I hope I have the same reactions when the time comes. My unusual name gets a lot of compliments at work (I do have some of the people who give me weird looks but overall everyone is really surprised and pleased to hear my name).
Yep. I probably won’t be TTC until 2020 onwards (when I’m 23), but my family are so conservative with their name choices (and nothing else, lol!) that I think I’ll get weird looks if I was to name my daughter [name_f]Isadora[/name_f] and my son [name_m]Augustus[/name_m], for example. This makes me feel really uncertain of them that I did try and trick myself into liking the normal, popular, common boy and girl names but I just couldn’t do it. I just had a eureka moment when I thought, “f**k it!” and realised that they’re my children and I can name them what I like… Obviously with my SO’s input, but not my family’s.
I think [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is such a cool name and [name_f]Aria[/name_f] Estellise is wonderful. People are being more daring now when it comes to naming their children, I think you’ll be fine when the time comes.
[name_f]Isadora[/name_f] and [name_m]Augustus[/name_m] are great names! I actually quite like the names in your signature My entire family has really conservative names ([name_m]Justin[/name_m], [name_f]Virginia[/name_f], [name_m]Allen[/name_m], [name_m]Paul[/name_m], and [name_m]Johnathan[/name_m] were the family kids of my generation) and I’m the odd one out with the name [name_u]Devin[/name_u]. It’s more heard of now but was super rare growing up in the 90’s. I did the same thing trying to trick myself into thinking the “normal” names weren’t so bad “Oh, I could live with an [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] or an [name_m]Adam[/name_m]” but they just never stuck (not that they are bad names! They’re just not good for me). I even went though the “I’ll name my kid what I want” thing as well, but making it more real sort of spooked me a little. You’re right though, it’s going to be my little one and as long as DH and I like the name then that’s what matters.
That’s a good point! I had mini panic attacks signing our first lease and I also had a similar freak out when I got married. It’s one of the big decisions so I think it is natural to get a little nervous. DH never has any doubts so it makes me feel crazy sometimes!
Good luck with life and the big changes coming!