and does gender make a difference? Would you care if a friend used the same name?
I have two sons. I wouldn’t mind at all if a friend used either name, as long as they weren’t the same age. My first son’s name is underused, so I would love to hear it more. And my second son’s name is in the top 100, so I wouldn’t blink an eye if someone used it since it’s so common.
But I think if I had a girl think that I would be much more proprietary and would be annoyed if someone used the same name. I have no idea why!
I don’t have any children, but I’m sure I would feel ownership of my names, but I like unique names. I would definitely be upset if a friend used it, but my friends would know that and ask for assistance if they liked my names that much.
I don’t have kids yet, we plan to start trying next year, but we both love talking about potential names. I didn’t used to feel ownership of potential names until a cousin of mine used a family name I had on my list. She had already picked out a different name for her son, so I was chatting with her about my favorite family name at her shower. She had never even heard of that great-uncle (he died in WW2) before, but my grandpa had talked to me about him a lot. I didnt know she had used it until after they had left the hospital. Because it is family I feel that I can’t use it and I regret ever sharing it with her. Now I am super paranoid about sharing my baby names with family and friends!
I dont have any kids yet, but I dont think I would feel any ownership over their names. I mean, I didnt create them, afterall. BUT, I would probably get upset if a friend used a name that I used. Mostly because I like fairly uncommon names, and if they used it then they would have gotten it from me. But if it was a name in the top 50 or something, then I wouldnt care as much.
It wouldn’t bother me. I kind of like it when I hear other kids or babies with the same name as one of my daughters. If a friend wanted to use it, I’d feel flattered. I’d feel the same way if it were a family member. In terms of popularity, I’ve been hearing my oldest daughter’s name ([name]Alice[/name]) more and more frequently. [name]Mary[/name] is technically more popular, but I don’t hear it much. I’ve never met another [name]Jane[/name] under the age of 30, but I meet little girls named [name]Lucy[/name] all the time. I would expect this since it’s a pretty popular name.
I probably do. But only in terms of close friends or relatives. I’d be annoyed if a friend used a name I’d told them about and they’d never even considered before/used the name after I’d named a child it. Which is why I don’t share my favourites.
But in terms of people I don’t know, I think it’s a bit much to expect no one else to use the same name, ever.
I don’t have kids yet, but I think it would depend on the name. I mean, I know I don’t have ownership at all since as PP said, I didn’t create the names. But I think I’d be pretty disappointed if someone close used a name I really love. I don’t want to hang out with a friend and have to talk about “her (kid’s name)” and “my (kid’s name)”. It’s different of course if I met the friend after we already had kids. I also like less common names, so it’s less likely they will get used, but still very possible. I do have a decent list of names going though and I’m at least a year or two from even trying to have a kid, so by then maybe my favorites will change. It also depends on what my fiance likes of course.
This is a big reason I don’t tell people my favorite names very often. Not because I feel protective of them, but because I don’t want them to have that moment of “oh crap, that’s the name we’re going to use, will she think we’re stealing it?” I’d feel bad if I named my kid a name my friend loved even if I’ve had it on my mind forever. I’d probably still use it (unless she were pregnant and already decided on the name or something), but I’d feel a little bad about it.
As for gender, I don’t know if it makes a difference for me. I had a really hard time finding boy names that I loved, so that’s the only reason I might be more disappointed if someone used a boy name on my list. Depending on the name, I wouldn’t be upset necessarily if someone used my hypothetical son’s name on a girl, but I’d be annoyed. Mostly because I don’t like a majority of boy’s names on girls. A few of my favorite boy’s names have been turning girl so I guess I’m frustrated about that. [name]Riley[/name] was one of my favorite names in high school after I met an adorable little boy with this name, but now it’s so popular and more so for a girl (along with all the atrocious spellings…). I’m not completely opposed to using a unisex name on a boy, just not one that is way more popular for girls (which [name]Riley[/name] isn’t, but it’s overall popularity has steered me away).
I don’t have any kids yet, but it probably would bother me. A former middle-school friend named her son [name]Noah[/name], and cousins named their children [name]Emma[/name], [name]Lyla[/name], and [name]Benjamin[/name]–I rarely, if ever, see any of those children but they still feel pretty unusable to me because I know children with those names.
I mean, my favorites are pretty popular, so I could understand, but every time I know someone pregnant I absolutely cringe because I really, really hope they don’t use one of my favorites before I can. [name]Benjamin[/name]'s mom is pregnant with a girl and I’m crossing my fingers that she doesn’t use [name]Isabelle[/name]/a, [name]Arianne[/name]/a, or [name]Olivia[/name]…
I don’t think I’d be as fussed about it if they used it after I already had a child with the name, though–like I said, my favorites are pretty popular, lol. As long as they asked I think I’d be okay with it, just so they don’t use the exact combo. [name]Even[/name] though my FNs are pretty popular the whole combos are quite unexpected…
I also have 2 boys, and I would not mind at all if someone else used their names. Anyone who used their names now would not even be close to the same age, but I don’t think it would have bothered me even when they were younger. My first son’s name is in the top 10 now, but when I named him, it was #80 something. My second son’s name never even makes the top 100. I love it when I meet someone else with his name! I think I am the same as you about my girl name. I was very possessive of the girl name I had picked out and planned on naming a daughter. [name]Just[/name] [name]ONE[/name] name! It’s not like I called dibs on a whole list of names. When I told the name to a friend, and then she turned around and named her daughter my name before I had the chance to use it, I was LIVID! The name is [name]Elle[/name] and I know that variations of it are common, but [name]Elle[/name] itself doesn’t even make the top 400. I’m positive that if I hadn’t opened my mouth it wouldn’t have even crossed her mind. I could tell by her reaction that it was not a name that she had thought of. I was especially annoyed since she already had two daughters. I felt like if I had a daughter, she would be my only one and she deserves to have the name that I had loved so much! I am pregnant now and considering using it anyway. I don’t care what she thinks. She should expect my child to have that name since I told her it was going to!
I am VERY possessive over baby names and became upset when another girl decided to use one of the names off my list! I typically am more possessive over girl names than boy names, but there is a couple of boy names I feel extremely possessive over. It is bad.
Not really but I dont have kids yet, I do like names that [name]Ive[/name] never heard in the states so maybe I would feel differently if I saw them floating around on boards.
I was thinking about this earlier though because of all the name stealing posts and wondered when did we start feeling like names are “ours” amongst our social group? Why is it so offensive to have two or three little girls named [name]Ava[/name] or [name]Elizabeth[/name] or whatever. I can understand if your sister names a kid after your father or something and then you dont get to use it, but again in family we share the same grandparents so why does one grandchild deserve to use a name more than another?
It’s a very interesting topic and I think with the use of internet and name boards we have discovered more names and trends unlike 20 or 30 years ago and its become more competitive than in the past.
I dont have kids yet but I personally would not be bothered if somebody I knew used the name that I used. I tend to love more classic girly names/Masculine names especially my boys names are really common.
Im someone who wants to steal a name! There are two boy names I talked about with my husband, one that I love and one that my husband loves but we both love both, and I was on facebook the other day and saw that one of my in-and-out-not-so-but-have-the-same-mutual-friends friends used both of those names for her baby months ago. I realized, wait! Those are my names! And I want them together too! I realize that we probably wont see eachother again and it would be a while down the road anyway, but what would our mutual friends think of my name-copying? I am looking for alternatives but my husband really likes it. What are your thoughts?
A little bit yes. I don’t have kids.
I have names I adore, and want to use. I don’t mind if someone else has the same name of course, but I’d rather they didn’t.
Whenever I hear of a girl with the same name, I think it’s cute. And I feel happy that someone else also likes those names.
I’d only ever be upset if someone close to me took the name, and then rendered it unusable.
I’d use it anyway, and she’d have to deal. I’ve had my names picked out for years, and there are thousands of others with said names.
Friends just asked me if they could still use my son’s name as it was on their list. I said that might be a little weird and close since they would be close in age and in our circle of friends.
I don’t feel ownership, really, but I would think it was a little strange if a close friend or immediate family member reused one of my names. If we see each other all the time, are always discussing our kids with each other, and yelling their names out in the same places, deliberately doubling up on any name would seem awkward to me…definitely not something I’d choose to do myself. I don’t know, though; maybe I’d eventually see it as a compliment, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, and all that. I know my son loves meeting people who share his fn, so he, at least, would be delighted from the get-go.
Outside that one small circle of family and closest friends, it wouldn’t bother me a bit, and I think my feelings would be the same whether the names were male or female.
