Oh, I totally understand that I’m asking for opinions and I should take it all with a grain of salt. I was mostly referring to when you stumble across a post someone else has made with a name you like in it and everyone is bashing it unexpectedly. I too can be fairly blunt when giving advice, sometimes I have to stop myself from being hurtful and sometimes I’ll sit and think about what I’ve posted for a long time wondering if I was too harsh.
[name]Ash[/name] hit the nail on the head with the ‘arrow to the heart’ comment. It’s so unexpected sometimes. My name is [name]Hannah[/name] (obviously, lol) and my name jumps around all the time. Sometimes people say it’s too popular, it’s dated, it’s boring. So I try to find names that no one will say those things about. Then you get ‘It’s weird.’ ‘It’s pretentious.’ ‘It tries to hard’. I know you can’t make everyone happy and when I actually ask the question I just shrug it off, like most of the commentary I get over Tesla. It’s the unintentional ambushes that hurt the most! lol
I do understand, because I named my first child [name]Caitlin[/name], a name I’d loved since I was eleven and first babysat a Welsh girl with the name. I knew I’d never get anyone to say [name]Catlin[/name], which is how it’s correctly pronounced in [name]Wales[/name], but that was okay because I liked the “American/English” pronunciation too. Anyway, this was almost 30 years ago, and when I named her, no one had ever heard of the name before. Then boom comes DeGrassi High and some other soap and there are Caitlins with all these weird spellings all over the place and suddenly my beloved daughter’s name is the [name]Jennifer[/name] of the new millenia. So when people bash [name]Kaitlyn[/name]/[name]Kaitlin[/name]/[name]Catelyn[/name] or however people spell it these days, it makes me cringe. I wouldn’t change her name – it’s so my daughter – but it is annoying and sometimes hurtful, especially when assumptions are made. The good news is that my daughter loves her name, she loves both her full name and her nn (we called her [name]Kate[/name]/[name]Katie[/name] after Hepburn and she’s called herself [name]Kitty[/name] since 15). And since I grew up hating my name, the fact that my daughter loves her name is immensely satisfying.
There’s no guarantee that your child will love her/his name, or even that your family will respect your choices. Parents give their children names as acts of love, and that’s what you hold on to.
No, not at all. I come to the table knowing that everybody’s tastes are different. When I give an opinion about a name on nameberry I am completely honest, taking for granted that people are looking for honest opinions. If someone is looking for an honest opinion, I presume that they have steeled themselves and know they may not like what they hear. It does not bother me if someone does not like names I hold dear because it saves more of the ones I like from being used hehe If you think about it in that way, we should all want our favorite names to be disliked so we can have them all for ourselves! hahaha Seriously though, I think its about respecting others entitlement to their opinions as much as you are entitled to your own. Sounds like “The [name]Golden[/name] Nameberry [name]Rule[/name]” if you ask me
Take for example my name [name]Amanda[/name]. People have said, and I agree, that it is dated from the 80s and very common for our generation, and maybe it is boring to certain people. With that said, I can’t help but love it no matter what anyone says no matter how true it may be. If you love a name that you see being critiqued negatively, if it means a lot to you and you really love it, being confident in your feelings for the name will act as a protection against hurt feelings. Maybe I get it from being bullied as a kid and having to learn to like myself no matter what other people say, but that’s how i see it.
For me, it depends on the insult. If it’s a general “Oh, I don’t like this name,” it doesn’t bother me because it’d be really boring if we all liked the same names. However, if it’s something really rude or nasty, or if it’s something like, “I think anyone who names their kid X, Y, or Z is a moron,” I have to admit, it’s hard not to get all riled up.
I does bother me a bit, but I try to remind myself that there are people out there who name their kids ridiculous things, or names that I wouldn’t like at all. I may not be as vocal about it, but we can’t all have the same great taste in names
No, not at all. The whole point of the site is to get opinions so I think its a little silly to get insulted when someone comments on a name that is special to you, even if you didn’t specifically ask for an opinion on the name.
I guess it just shows how diverse all of our opinions are.
All of my children have unusual or unpopular fn or mn so i’ve learned that you just can’t take it personally when someone says something negative about the name. You like it and your spouse likes it and that’s all that matters.
Not really, unless the insults are unnecessarily cruel (and Nameberry is one of the least cruel forums I’ve come across). Frankly, I welcome criticism because I want to foresee any potential problems for my child. I do get upset, though, if someone points out a valid problem with a name I’m falling in love with. For example, forums have helped me to realise the teasing potential of names like [name]Hugh[/name], [name]Rhoda[/name] and [name]Bridget[/name], so that now I wouldn’t use them as first names. I also find that how upset I get about these things is a good guide of how much I love the name.
So I was thinking about it, and I realized, it does kind of upset me when people criticize my own name, which is [name]Allison[/name]. An another forum I was browsing, someone mentioned it and it seemed like 9 out of 10 people were saying how ugly it was. I had never heard anything bad about my own name before, it was like another poster said, an arrow to the heart. I personally love my name, and I wouldnt change it if I had the chance. I’m also thankful my mom didnt name me what she really wanted to name me ([name]Veronica[/name] [name]Monique[/name].) Bleh, totally not me.
But when it comes to names I like, I really dont care if other people like them. Maybe if I had already named my kid that it would be different.
Nope. It’s personal preference, not everyone will like the same things, and for every person who doesn’t like a name I like, there’s another person who does.
I do feel a bit of a slap when people have very rude, or harsh things to say, but I don’t take it personally. I consider their viewpoint, and if I agree then I do, and if I don’t agree, then I brush it off.
Not really. Only because I know not everyone is going to have the same taste in names as me. When someone criticizes a name I like I usually brush it off.
Yes and no. Like pp’s have said, it does bother me when people are unnecessarily cruel (not usually on here) or rude about their opinions. It’s a little like a slap in the face. But on here, I’ve mostly had positive opinions or “It’s NMS” comments, or criticism that is helpful and helps me realize things like teasing potential. Or if someone says “[name]How[/name] is that pronounced?”, then I realize it might be hard for other people to say. At the same time, it doesn’t really bother me if it’s a name I’ve loved for a long time or a name I love for personal reasons. Like [name]Donald[/name], for example. I’ve gotten pretty much all negative comments on this name, things like it’s dated or he will be teased ([name]Donald[/name] Duck, et c.), but I still love it. It’s my grandfather’s name, and will be the MN of my first son. So with names like that, the criticism just rolls off my shoulders because I’m so attached to it.
Sometimes it bothers me, other times it doesn’t. A lot of people just have their own opinions, some ppl take things harder and more serious than others do!
My daughters names have gotten quite the varied responses. Most people just don’t get my first daughter’s until they’ve heard it several times, making for ten minute long introductions. Wouldn’t change her name for nothing, it’s a beautiful name. Most people do like it after they get it but some pretty obviously are thinking “what were they thinking!?” though only a couple have actually said anything. My second daughter’s name is either loved or hated and none of the grands or great-aunts and great-uncles care for it (their all polite about it though). People, when they hear her name, either say “how sweet” or “how pretty” OR just go “hmm” and quickly change the subject or say “different” or “interesting” My favorite response was “what kind of name is that” from I’m guessing was a teen girl in a very negative way. That doesn’t bother me.
As to reactions on on-line forums, I don’t generally get naming advice for my actual children. I go on the boards simply because I’m a name addict. I like talking names. I don’t care whether anyone likes what I name my children. If I don’t take my own mother’s opinion into consideration I’m certainly not going to take random people from the Internet opinions into consideration. So negative comments on names I like on forums don’t bother me in the least.
*Edited to add: I generally am in the minority of what names and combos are liked/disliked on well, any naming forum I’ve been on. For example, naming siblings Charles & Charlotte, calling them Charlie & Lottie. To me it’s a sweet connection between the siblings and their great-grandfather and I don’t care that it’s the masculine and feminine form of the same name. Heck, my husband doesn’t even like my taste in names
If I can hate names people like, they can hate the names I like. It’s not personal. Usually if I don’t like a name, I say it’s NMS. I like to give constructive criticism about names, like the teasing potential and whether they’ll be judged by others, but if I just dislike the sound and feel of the name then that’s solely my opinion, and I would only ask that people treated it with respect - I wouldn’t ask them to agree with me.
Essentially, nobody has the exact same taste in clothes, music, partners, a fun day out, or baby names. And like your taste in clothes, music, partners and a fun day out, you may as well, within reason, just choose what YOU want.
You know what helps, though? Knowing the favorite names of the insulting party. If someone’s poo-pooing a name I love, but I know them to be a fan of names I just have no affinity for, it’s a reminder that everyone’s taste is different.
I stopped maintaining a public, votable name list because anonymous feedback is (a) easier to be harsh with, and (b) gives no context for a negative vote. My unusual names were marked unfavorably, while my more mainstream choices had by far the most positive votes. It showed that the majority of voters were fans of popular/mainstream names, which I tend not to be.
[name]One[/name] thing that IS hard is seeing people post their impressions of my own name… you know, those “what does this name bring to mind” threads. I see my name described as ditzy, ‘mean girl’-esque or whatever. It’s just sad to think my own name may communicate those qualities before someone knows me!
Everyone associates names differently. What is a beautiful name to me may dredge up horrible memories of a childhood bully to someone else. A name that screams “stripper!” to me may be the most perfect name to someone else. Several of the names on my list are constantly ragged on - too popular, over-used, (or “stripper”, according to my husband), etc. I don’t take it personally. I don’t have exclusive claim on a name’s use, so anyone can say whatever they like about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If I ask for opinions, I recognize I have to be ok with others’ who differ from my own. Conversely, I’m extremely irritated when someone asks for honest opinions on names and gets upset when they hear opinions contrary to their own.
If someone gets easily upset when people bash a name they love, then perhaps sharing their name list on a world-wide website and asking for feedback isn’t the best idea…
If you think about it in that way, we should all want our favorite names to be disliked so we can have them all for ourselves! hahaha 