[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! I’m a very excited first-time mom-to-be, and I’m new to this forum. I’m doing some project research, and I’d like to know how many expectant moms and dads find out the sex of their babies during pregnancy versus waiting for “Labor [name_u]Day[/name_u].” I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts!
If you don’t want to find out in advance, do you experience any trouble finding a variety of gender-neutral products?
Thank you all so much! 
~[name_f]Amanda[/name_f]
I’m very torn on this issue. I think it would be exciting to not know, but I’m sure I would cave into the pressure from my family and husband (who definitely wants to find out). So I’ve decided that I’ll probably find out the first time, but if I’m blessed enough to have a second (and third and so on) then I’d keep it a surprise!
We adopted our son and did not know whether he would be a boy or girl ahead of time. It didn’t matter to us either way, so we were fine not knowing.
I think that if anyone knew though, I would want to know. So if they did an ultrasound and they could tell the sex, I wouldn’t want the ultrasound tech to keep it a secret from me. Does that make sense? But I wouldn’t get an ultrasound just to find out the sex. And if I did find out, then I wouldn’t tell anybody else (other than my husband) because I enjoy being surprised about the name and sex when friends and family have babies.
We found out the sex. When I was registering for my baby shower though, I didn’t know yet, and it was extremely difficult to find gender neutral items. When we found out we were having a boy, I was amazed by all the sports-themed/monster truck/crane and bulldozer covered clothing being pushed in the stores, especially for older babies and children. The teeny sizes up to six months were more neutral, but unfortunately the older kids begin to get pigeonholed, at least in the mainstream stores (which is all I can afford, or consignment items.)
Congrats on your little one!
I generally [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] surprises, but I think when I get pregnant, I’ll want to know. I’ll just be too curious, and I’ll want to refer to the baby by name! Thankfully hubby and I like more modern styles of furniture and decor, which tend to be fairly gender neutral… so if we don’t find out, we should still be able to find some good neutral products. If modern is your thing, [name_f]Ikea[/name_f] usually has cute products, plus this site which seems to have some nice options in a wide variety of prices: Modern Kids' Furniture | AllModern
I never wanted to know, but hubby really wants to and my mom is already telling me how she needs to know and she doesn’t even know we are TTC! I caved and said okay to finding out but the condition was we would do a gender reveal baby shower. We don’t believe in putting our children into societal gender stereotypes so if the gender is revealed at the shower, people can’t buy gender specific clothing. Besides, it’ll still be a sweet surprise.
It’s still a surprise when you find out at around 20 weeks, right? I could never stand the suspense and felt like I needed to know the baby’s sex to make the impending lifestyle changes more “real”. I doubt I could wait an entire pregnancy without knowing and naming the baby in advance. Ultrasounds can be wrong, though (but it’s supposedly rare these days).
Absolutely. I’m not going to have children yet but if I do, I definitely want to know the sex in advance.
We’ve found out ahead of time with both our girls. I honestly don’t see the point of waiting - I feel like finding out the sex ahead of time helped me to bond & prepare while the girls were still cooking. And helped us focus in our name search too 
Also, with our second we already had a daughter so I was really hoping for a boy. I was disappointed at first to find out she was a girl, so I’m glad I had time to get used to the idea before she was born. If I had found out during delivery I would have felt guilty if I had been disappointed even for a minute. As it was by the time she arrived I was ecstatic about having another girl, but if we had waited I don’t know how the first few days would have been.
I originally wanted a “surprise” but my husband really wanted to know, and I knew if he knew and didn’t tell me I’d go crazy, so we’ve found out both times. But, we do take the sonographer’s prediction with a grain of salt, because they can be wrong. A close friend of mine was expecting a little girl until she got to 32 weeks, when they discovered she was actually a he.
I’m also strongly against gender coding our kids. I don’t buy loads of stuff in pink, and I ask our family and friends not to as well. We don’t buy “girl toys” we buy toys. My daughter got a tonka truck from her aunt at [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] :rolleyes: With the exception of dresses and pink cot sheets there is very little our daughter owns that we couldn’t re-use on a son. Ok, I totally would re-use the sheets. lol
These days I feel very much like I don’t need a surprise as well. You get a baby at the end of pregnancy! What do you need a surprise (or even a push present) for? Having a healthy little blob of fresh-baked human is all I need at the end - but pregnancy is long and I like little things to look forward to along the way.
My husband was all for finding out but I was more interested in having it be a sweet surprise after the delivery. However, at our first ultrasound we were shocked to learn that we were having twins so I agreed, that that was a big enough surprise and I wanted to know the sexes as soon as possible. Sometimes I wish we waited but I think with any future children we will find out before they are born.
We Have two kids and found out the gender with both of them at my ultrasound at 20 weeks. I actually really liked knowing, it helped me and my husband to feel closer to the baby before they were born. Mental preperation time too. Also I had extreme morning sickness til week 17 with my son and week 14 with my daughter (often puking 10 times a day) and it was a rewarding treat for me to know! Pregnancy feels so long and sometimes it feels like there is not much you can do but wait. I especially liked picking out art for my babies while I was still pregnant. Now that we have a son and daughter if we have more children I may be tempted to wait… We’ll see. If my children have their mind set on having a " brother" or “sister” I will for sure try to find out beforehand. I would hate for them to feel disappointed once their sibling was born, ya know?
Can I answer even though I’m not a mom?
I like the idea of not knowing until the baby is born. Realistically though, as much as I obsess over names now, I know that I’m going to be a nightmare when I’m actually pregnant. Knowing the baby’s sex ahead of a time will equal less stress for me, because I’ll only have to obsess over names for one sex.
@ mirimouse- I saw some dark pink [name_u]Carter[/name_u]'s crib sheets marked down to $5 the other day and bought them. Uh, $5 crib sheets? Yes, please. I don’t think my son will mind, haha
I absolutely wanted to know with my first, to do baby shower things and pick out a name, and I absolutely want to know with my second. If it is another girl, we will know we won’t have to get much. If it is a boy, we will have to get clothes and things from my sister and get some new things.
The idea of not knowing is not really that appealing to me. I am a planner, and I don’t want it to be a surprise. And the way I see it, I will not be treating the baby any differently if I know, so there is no harm in it.
As for finding gender neutral things, strollers and bassinets and cribs aren’t really a problem, but clothes are. Finding gender neutral clothes is hard because most stores are split right down the middle - pink and girly on one side, blue and masculine on the other. It would be very hard to outfit a child in only gender neutral things.
Great, thanks everyone! My husband and I don’t want to know, probably even more so because of all the pressure our friends are putting on us (it’s our decision!), and we turned our heads away at the ultrasound the other day when the technician checked out the sex of the baby. We’ll find out in [name_u]June[/name_u] 
I’m not having too difficult a time finding gender-neutral bedding and clothing for the baby either, which is in part due to the fact that I wouldn’t choose the super feminine pink style for a girl anyway. I’ve found tons of cute unisex outfits under the “Boys” section of stores, but they aren’t really boy-specific at all, just not frilly.
Thank you!
Great, thanks everyone! My husband and I don’t want to know, probably even more so because of all the pressure our friends are putting on us (it’s our decision!), and we turned our heads away at the ultrasound the other day when the technician checked out the sex of the baby. We’ll find out in [name_u]June[/name_u]
I’m not having too difficult a time finding gender-neutral bedding and clothing for the baby either, which is in part due to the fact that I wouldn’t choose the super feminine pink style for a girl anyway. I’ve found tons of cute unisex outfits under the “Boys” section of stores, but they aren’t really boy-specific at all, just not frilly.
Thank you for your feedback!
The idea of keeping it a surprise is nice, but in all honesty and practicality I would definitely want to know.
I’d probably keep it a secret from most people I know, but there are enough unknowns about becoming a new parent so I’d want to get that one out of the way!
I would love to say that, when the time comes, I’d wait - but I know for a fact that the suspense would actually eat away at me and most likely drive me insane, so I would find out
I absolutely loved the anticipation when my friend didn’t find out ahead of time with her first baby. It was so much fun to wait and get the surprise plus the pictures of her at the same time! She did tell us her top two picks of names for each sex, but kept that part from the ‘general public’ as well.
This time around she’s finding out and as exciting as it was the first time, I’m looking forward to knowing this time! It’s so hard to imagine her with a boy (family of all girls!). But her husband didn’t want to wait the first time, not to mention this time around! So they compromised 
I think I’d almost definitely wait the first time, unless the pregnancy was a shock and I wanted something to make it feel more real. Who KNOWS with the hormonal influence if I’d have the conviction to stay in the surprise camp though!