Does anyone else feel a little pressure to please your parents with a name??

I tell my dad about names. Some of which I kind of like. I like the name Keshet which means [name_f]Rainbow[/name_f] for a girl in Hebrew. My list of girls names seems to grow. I am thinking my name that I have wanted since I was 10 which is still a bit of a secret is on it’s way out or a middle name. It is getting popular. UGGH!! I wanted to know if anyone else was getting flack from their parents? Oh and I came up with some new Hebrew girls names over night. I can’t wait to see what he thinks of some of them!

No I would not tell your parents your name. My sister knows I want to name my daughter [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] and she asked my mom what do you think of the name [name_f]Clementina[/name_f]? Her reply? Ichs. This is why I do not involve them in my naming process. And yes, I still plan on naming her that! Once she’s born she’s just going it have to like it or sheket :wink:

My parents and I talk about baby names frequently, especially now since TTC has become a topic of discussion for DH and I, we are thinking beginning of next year. My Mom will actually call me with suggestions, which is nice, if I like them I tell her, if not I tell her. My Mom will tell me if she does not like a name I like, but will say, it doesn’t matter what I think, when you have a child you and your husband get to name it, and the rest of us will get over it. I am glad that while my parents are interested in the naming process of my future children that at the end of the day they will accept whatever name my DH and I choose.

My husband and I made a couple of promises to his mother regarding children’s names when we got married. I wouldn’t necessarily say that brings a feeling of pressure, but the parameters have turned out to be more difficult as applied to girls’ names than I had anticipated. So it’s more of a challenge!

my mum and I often discuss names, and she can be brutal. She’s already made it clear that she’d be over the moon if I used the following:

[name_u]Harper[/name_u] [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] - [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] after her grandmother
[name_f]Madeline[/name_f] [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]/[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_f]Madeline[/name_f]
[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] - her first name is Elizabeth.
[name_u]Parker[/name_u] [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u]/[name_u]Parker[/name_u] [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]
[name_m]Charles[/name_m]/[name_u]Charlie[/name_u] [name_m]William[/name_m]
[name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Charles[/name_m] - [name_m]Charles[/name_m] after her grandfather

Although I like [name_u]Charlie[/name_u], [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u], [name_m]William[/name_m], [name_m]Daniel[/name_m], [name_u]Parker[/name_u], [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] & [name_f]Lillian[/name_f], I don’t adore most of them, but feel like I should use them.

i made the mistake of involving my mom the first time around. about halfway through all her criticisms and just after she said “well if i don’t like it i’ll just call her something else”… i was done with that. it didn’t stop her suggestions but i didn’t tell her the name until it was final. this time i haven’t told her ANYTHING. she can send me french family names until she’s blue in the face, that’s fine. but i’m putting a lot of effort into this and i don’t need her off-the-cuff criticisms.

when i got fed up with her nonsense the first time i just told her i was naming it Ninja regardless of gender.

My sister did the same thing when I said I liked [name_f]Eugenie[/name_f]. She declared that she would never refer to a child named [name_f]Eugenie[/name_f] by their actual name, and would use either [name_f]Jennie[/name_f] or their middle name.

We tried to keep our names a secret, and were planning on making a final decision when our daughter arrives, but two weeks ago, I let my sister babysit our dog. She went through our computer, found our Top 5 list, and told my whole family. She and my mom hated one name on the list, [name_f]Saffron[/name_f] (we probably had it ranked #2 at the time). I was a wreck–not because of their opinions, I knew they wouldn’t like it–but because my sister was saying things like “She will be made fun of her whole life if you name her this,” and “I refuse to call her that” and “I know how to be a parent better than you because I’ve raised at least six children.” (She has not raised 6 children–she’s 23. She’s referring to long term babysitting relationships.)

Keep your list a secret, and if you have snooping family members, work extra hard to keep it a secret. My husband and I have no idea what to do now–we don’t want to name our daughter [name_f]Saffron[/name_f] out of spite, but if we don’t name her [name_f]Saffron[/name_f], are we giving in to my sister’s ridiculous behavior? It would have been simpler if she’d never found the list. I’m now too sad to look at what was our original top 5, but we can’t find any names we like more than those.

oh god that’s something my awful sister would do too. i’m so glad she lives 3,000 miles away. that sucks. :frowning: naming is hard enough imo, you don’t need all that nonsense.

I haven’t told my mom yet that we’re ttc… don’t know if I want to ruin the surprise or not. She found my prenatals while she was helping me pack (hubby and I are moving on [name_m]Saturday[/name_m]) but I just told her it was to make my hair grow faster. She didn’t seem too suspicious but since we’re moving from a 1br to a 2br she probably knows something is up. Not much gets past her.

That said, we will probably keep our names a secret if possible. I have one friend that I’ll probably tell because I know she can keep a secret and I am just a person that has to bounce my ideas off somebody else, but I can tell if my mom doesn’t care for something even if she tries to act otherwise, and I don’t know if I want to set myself up to be frustrated because I don’t think she likes my name ideas.

I am no where close to having kids, but I do feel a little pressure to please my parents with my kids names. I talk about names all the time with my mom and it seems like she doesn’t like a lot of the names I like. I am going to go with a name I love whether my parents like it or not, but I don’t want them to totally hate the name. Although, I think my dad will like whatever I choose. He told me several years ago that he liked the name Yolanda. He shocked me when he told me he liked that name. Haha. I don’t think they care if I use a family name or not, so thankfully that’s not an issue. lol

When the time comes for me to have a baby, I do not plan on telling anyone in my family the name until he/she is born. I want the baby to be officially named before I tell them just in case they do hate the name. My name choices aren’t weird or too out there, but I still have a fear they won’t like them. I know I shouldn’t care so much what they think, but I do.

My mother sent me another name yesterday Not even close to my type of name! I really think she gets to name the baby!

lol my mother always sends me super popular names… her last suggestion was [name_f]Arabella[/name_f]. no thanks mom.

the name mine sent me was [name_f]Stephanine[/name_f]. Nice for others, but sorry not my taste

I’m no where close to have children, but I’m wondering this - if I’m the first one of my siblings to have kids (I’m the oldest), will I be pressured into naming my first child after my mother or father… [name_m]Just[/name_m] that three aunts named their first child after one of my grandparents, maternal and paternal. And it seems like my cousins are going the same way - only one aunt has grandchildren yet though. She has three, two of them are named after grandfathers… I don’t want to have my parents expecting that my baby is going to be named after them or something like that. No idea if they do, but yeah…

I would say you might be. [name_m]Just[/name_m] put your foot down. It depends is it a tradition in the family? You can always call the child be their middle name if you have to do this. I would say talk to them. See what happens. Good luck

It’s hard enough pleasing two people, yet alone everyone else! But I’m lucky in that all of my names honour family members in some way, although I know I’m going to get flack for not using family middles… WIth my family, there’s always something :slight_smile:

Your should difiantly not name your child out of spite, or to prove a point. You chose the top 5 names out of love, and you should bestow the one that best fits your daughter out of that same love.

If your daughter is born and you look at her face, and a [name_f]Saffron[/name_f] is looking back at you don’t hesitate to name her that! But if in your look at her and you see a [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], [name_f]Sadie[/name_f], [name_f]Rita[/name_f], or [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] then it’s don’t be afraid to name her that either. Naming her out of spite won’t be a victory; giving her a different name won’t be defeat. You’ll name your daughter the right name for her; not the right name for your sister.

I will add I have been the bratty sister on the other end of this. I was 23 as well! My sister loved the name [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]. I thought it sounded like either an old lady, or a medical device, (as in “start an IV on this patient”). While I didn’t expressly say this to my sister I kept trying to steer her in other directions. But she stuck to [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]. When my niece was born, when I looked at her, I knew my sister was right. Here was a little girl full of life, energy, that would add grace and beauty where ever she made her home. She was so perfectly an [name_f]Ivy[/name_f], and my sister had been able to feel that when she was carrying her.

What ever you choose it let it be a choice made out of love, and from a positive place. Letting the chips fall where they may.

I will add that my name is [name_f]Jacqueline[/name_f]. I went by [name_f]Jacqui[/name_f] when I was young. There is nothing really mock worthy about my name, and I really love it. But as a youngster with a bad hair cut I got teased terribly. “[name_m]Jac[/name_m] the boy” and “Wacky [name_u]Jackie[/name_u]” where the two that got thrown at me the most. My friend’s name is [name_f]Erin[/name_f]. Again about as non tease worthy as you can get. She got taunted with “[name_f]Erin[/name_f] the [name_u]Red[/name_u] [name_m]Baron[/name_m]”, (why this was an insult I don’t know, the kids that teased her with that meant it as an insult, and she took it as one). Another friend [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f] was called “Step on Me”. What I’m getting at is that kids can be cruel with anything. On the other end of this one of the most popular girls in my elementary school was named Shellica. She did not get teased despite having a more easy to tease name. You can’t predict who is going to be teased by looking at names. It’s harder then that.

Congratulation and enjoy the honor of naming that wonderful little girl of yours. :slight_smile:

I encourage my mom to share names with us with the understanding that we will add it to our list if we like it, she comes across nice names & mentions them to me which is nice.
I would NEVER share the names on my short list. [name_u]EVER[/name_u].

Thanks for the advice and support, blackcatsmeow. I know you’re right about how we need to approach the naming, and I hope my sister comes around like you did.