Does matching matter?

[name_m]Prior[/name_m] to joining this site I would constantly toss ideas for names around and never thought much about them matching. It seems that matching names for siblings is a big deal for a lot of people though. (Not matching in terms of Aiden and Kaden, but ones will a similar theme or feel, like Bay and River or Lilly and Rose) Complimentary is probably more accurate than saying "matching"

My siblings and I didn’t have matching names (my brothers being [name_m]Paul[/name_m] and [name_m]Johnathan[/name_m] while my name is [name_u]Devin[/name_u]) and it never seemed to bother anyone. Personally I don’t mind if my baby names don’t match and they probably don’t (the top names being [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] for a boy while [name_f]Aria[/name_f] Estellise and Cinder [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] are my girl picks. )

So, do the names you choose have to match or have the same feel? Is there any reason that you want them to match or don’t care if they match? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you determine if a name has the right “feel” to it to go with the others?

I think they have to have a similar feel to them, but don’t have to match. If I had a matchy name with a sibling I’d probably dislike it actually. Like if I had two kids, they’re names wouldn’t start with the same letter (unless they were two names I absolutely loved), but they might have the same ending sound or consist of at least 2 of the same letters. I don’t think that if you have two siblings you should name one a short name (like [name_f]Liz[/name_f]) and name the other a long one (like [name_f]Annamaria[/name_f].)

I don’t think matching has to matter. It matter to me a little. But it isn’t going to be the ultimate decision factor for me in naming future children. I think my children will probably have similar styles because I like names of a certain style. I’m sure this is what happens for most people.

I admire a nice sibset of names. It’s fun to make some up and read about others. But at the end of the day in the real world, I don’t think it’s such a big deal at all. Children are individuals and are not tied to their siblings for a lifetime.

Personally I would prefer an unmatched group of kids rather than one that was too matchy matchy. I also value being fair either naming in terms of style. Like if one kid had a classic nice name like [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] then it sort of sucks for the kid that gets an out there name that’s going to cause a lifetime of issue like MacSparklez or something.

See name length never mattered to me. Naturally I prefer short names, but with my boy names I have a super short one and a longer one. I think names having a variety is nice because the children will more than likely have different personalities. I do think it’d be odd for one kid to have say a family name and the other to have a super outlandish made up name.

I think fairness is more important than matching names for sure. It can work both ways, the kid with the generic name may be sad that the parents weren’t creative like with the sibling. Or the sibling could be sad that they didn’t get the “family name”.

I’ve been kind of against matching names (to an extent) to the point that I reworked two of my favorite names because the idea of 2 names starting with an “A” drove me nuts (I have a fondness for A names, it’s a pain).

MacSparklez… let’s hope that one doesn’t start trending! XD

I wouldn’t suggest naming twins [name_u]Aiden[/name_u] and [name_u]Jaiden[/name_u] or [name_f]Aria[/name_f] and [name_f]Amelia[/name_f], but I also wouldn’t suggest naming them [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_f]Calliope[/name_f] either. One being a very common name and one being very uncommon. I think they should have a similar feel to them without having to be matchy matchy. For example, [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] would work because they are both classic names. [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] and [name_u]Sage[/name_u] work because they are both nature names. You see what I mean? Twin names don’t have to start with the same letter or rhyme to sound good together.

Absolutely, I think twins should have names that set them apart from one another. I like the idea in theory of names having a similar feel, but in practice it doesn’t work for me. [name_m]Fox[/name_m] is a nature name, but when I use it should all of my children have to have nature names? [name_f]Aria[/name_f] is musically related, but that will be the only musical name I will use. I tend to like more uncommon names personally so I guess they can all fall in that bracket?

I think having the names go together also gets harder as you have more and get older. Your naming personality changes, especially for the ladies who have 3 or more babies or have them spread out over larger increments of time.

I don’t think they have to match at all. I prefer to have shorter names- meaning only up to two syllables. But other than that my kids names are different stylistically. [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] is a nicknamey first name, [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is considered a classic, and [name_f]Hope[/name_f] is a virtue name. They work together nicely and suite my kids well so far. We have to see about [name_f]Hope[/name_f] when she’s born next month. :slight_smile:

Some of our favorite names for baby number three were [name_f]Nyla[/name_f], [name_f]Cora[/name_f], [name_f]Ivy[/name_f], [name_u]Laine[/name_u], and [name_f]Mavis[/name_f]. All very different but to us that didn’t matter. We wanted to go with what named we loved and had a connection with.

[name_m]How[/name_m] boring would it be if any of our kids asked us why we named them and we said because it fit in with your other two sisters? I like that each name we give them holds so much meaning, and each have a grand story of why we chose them.

Also, you have to keep in mind they will only be “grouped” with their siblings daily until they move out. Sad to think but it’s true. They will go lead their own lives, marry, if a girl maybe take her husbands name, have their own kids… So I always say name them as a individual not as a group. I like them to sound nice together- like no similar endings/sounds, same range of syllables, etc.

I don’t think matching matters, and will totally use my favourite names no matter what once I have children. However, I do prefer sibsets that have a similar feel to them - there’s something about them that’s pleasing to the eye and ear.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] read this! So true! My oldest is almost nine. My middle is almost two. Big range there. Although because I adopted [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] I didn’t get to choose her name completely I still got to implement my naming style. Her given name we [name_f]Eliana[/name_f] [name_f]Bianca[/name_f], her name now is [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] [name_f]Bea[/name_f]. [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is a name I never thought of back then. I like the more funky (to me) nicknames as first names, but a more classic name sounded right to me. This time none of the classics fit, most of the nicknamey names fell flat. My naming style vastly changed. However, I know we chose the right names for our girls and still love them just as much as when we first named them.

The way I think of it is my kids will probably have very diverse personalities (especially because my husband and I have diverse personalities, we’re polar opposites) so I think a name that will (hopefully) compliment their personality is more important than matching the older sibling.

Now I’ve seen sib sets that just go together so well. Not my style of names, but when I see them together I think they’re visually appealing and pleasing to hear. [name_f]Sib[/name_f] sets matching matters more to me in my writing as bad as that is to say.

Your little ones have lovely names by the way! They’re different styles but I think they compliment each other well. And congrats on your soon to be newest addition! :slight_smile:

After I picked out my future kiddos names and started to daydream who they would be hearing the names together was just right to me. [name_m]Fox[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and [name_f]Aria[/name_f] Estellise don’t “go” together, but they work for siblings for me. Same with Cinder [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] and [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] (undetermined middle). I think it’s also because my oldest brother and I couldn’t have been more different, and [name_m]Paul[/name_m] and [name_u]Devin[/name_u] don’t really go together, so I guess I have a soft spot for slightly mismatched names.

I’m all for using my #1 names, despite the different feels they have. When browsing I love looking at the “perfect” sibsets, but to me I’d use them for my writing but I won’t worry about it with my children.

I read a post on another site about a mom whose oldest was like 16 and youngest was still baking and she was having such a hard time thinking of a name. Her style had changed so much, and she had her first pretty young so she wasn’t very well educated as far as what’s out there for names and picked something popular and common and seemed to go through different phases with her other children. (Phases/style preferences, whatever you’d call it). If someone was very concerned with them matching I’d feel bad because that’s such a struggle when you’re style changes and you’ve already named a child. [name_m]Just[/name_m] adds more criteria to the name, and they seem to get harder to name the more you have.

That’s what we tried to keep in mind too. Each kids have different personalities. A classic name like [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] or [name_f]Eloise[/name_f] would have never suited [name_f]Ellie[/name_f]. A funky name like [name_f]Annika[/name_f] or [name_f]Ani[/name_f] would have never suited [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. We did I decent job at capturing who they are with their name.

It’s not a bad thing to want them to match. Not at all. I jut feel bad when someone feels like since they named their first a certain way all that follow have to fot a certain criteria. Someone told me That if they saw my sibset and hadn’t spoken to me they would have assumed two different people named them. Which at first I felt smacked then I took a step back and realized in a sense I was a different person then as opposed to now. That was when we were almost certain [name_f]Hope[/name_f] would be [name_f]Nyla[/name_f].

Thank you! I love the names you have chosen. [name_m]Fox[/name_m] and [name_f]Aria[/name_f] sound great to me as siblings! I think a nature name as apparent as fox needs to be placed with a none nature name to avoid being overly matchy. Cinder I like! especially with [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m]. I like that they are slight mismatched but all have a modern feel to them.

Me and my siblings don’t all match. [name_f]Carolyn[/name_f], [name_f]Jerri[/name_f], [name_m]Jeffrey[/name_m], [name_m]William[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_u]Shannon[/name_u]. My brother do but I feel like my sisters and I are mismatched. It has never bothered us though! Might be why I am not crazy about making my kids names match.

I didn’t think much about matching sibling names either, until I came to Nameberry. Now, unfortunately it’s difficult for me to get out of that mindset when “planning” names. I don’t think it matters in reality, although it can be fun to think of names that go together just for the fun of it. To be honest, once a person’s name is set in your mind, that’s really probably the end of it for you, unless it’s a really bad name. They are who they are, and not much else needs to be contemplated. If I had multiple children, their names would just be their names, end of story. I wouldn’t be so preoccupied with how they sounded or looked together, but more on raising my kids and enjoying being a mother. Also, kids are people, and they’re individuals. I don’t need to conceptualize them as like a matching set of luggage. Moreover, they won’t be a “unit” forever. Anyway… I wouldn’t think many people would need to be advised not to name two children [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] and McSparklez, but apparently some do, which is where the necessity of this issue stems from, I guess. Names don’t need to match, but things like that are ridiculous and unfair. Once everyone is on the same page as far as that’s concerned, there isn’t much left to say about it, in reality.

I didn’t think about matching sibling’s names to each other until I came on this site. And I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t have kids, but I imagine it’s like naming a pet (at least for me). Naming animals is notoriously difficult for me - I can’t just name them Stuffing and Fluffy (or [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]) because those names mean nothing and have no personality, both to me and to my animal’s personalities.

I have to feel the name. Each kid is going to be different and I think the perfect name will pop up in your mind based on how you connect with your child during their baking process, or you’ll have a list but the moment you hold him or her, the right one from the list will just shout its presence to you - or even a name that hadn’t previously made it onto the list now seems perfect.

Matching sibling names, I personally believe, is the domain of the unimaginative or the exhausted.

I don’t think matching matters that much. I mean I don’t think having siblings named [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] is any good because thats way too close. But having a sib set like [name_f]Wilhelmina[/name_f] and [name_f]McKenzie[/name_f] is a little odd and I’d be pretty mad if I was [name_f]McKenzie[/name_f], honestly.

I think the person who mentioned “fair” as the concept to follow has a good point. There are situations where very disparate styles can hurt a child. For example, I was close to a family of three girls. Two had top 10 names and one had a very unusual name ([name_f]Emily[/name_f], [name_f]Agnes[/name_f], and [name_f]Sarah[/name_f]). [name_f]Agnes[/name_f] hated that her sisters could find stuff with there names on it in every gift shop in [name_u]America[/name_u] and she couldn’t. I also knew of a boy who felt like the odd one out in his family because each of his siblings was named for a beloved grandparent and his name was a “we had to pick something” kind of deal.

I personally like sibling names that form a cohesive set as a source of family identity and pride. To me a cohesive set is something like [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f], [name_m]William[/name_m], and [name_f]Eugenie[/name_f] (British princes and princess) or [name_m]Forest[/name_m], [name_u]Skye[/name_u], [name_m]Birch[/name_m], and [name_f]Violet[/name_f] (nature names) or even the use of the same first letter with different sounds ([name_u]Arlo[/name_u], [name_f]Autumn[/name_f], [name_u]Alex[/name_u], and [name_u]Avery[/name_u]). Mostly the people I know who have grown up in such families like the subtle connections.

However, there is a fine line between a cohesive set and matching that gets crossed when patterns like [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_f]Hailey[/name_f], [name_m]Harry[/name_m], and [name_u]Hillary[/name_u] or [name_m]Birch[/name_m], [name_u]Elm[/name_u], [name_u]Spruce[/name_u], and [name_f]Willow[/name_f] get used.

I seem to have developed a requirement that sibling names have the same number of letters. Luckily a lot of the names I love are the same length. But, to be honest, I don’t think sibling names need to match at all. It might be a bit odd to have siblings named [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u] and [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], but I don’t think it matters as long as the parents love each name individually. Overly matchy names are the only thing I’d probably stay away from.

I think you’re mixing up matching with complementing. Generally, Berries are not into matching. Most of us like names that complement each other. What is complementary is sometimes subjective and not immediately apparent to others. Sisters named [name_u]Hero[/name_u], [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] & [name_u]Arden[/name_u] ([name_m]Shakespeare[/name_m]) go together just as much as [name_f]Anais[/name_f], [name_f]Ophelie[/name_f] & [name_u]Claude[/name_u] ([name_m]French[/name_m]) or [name_f]Myrtle[/name_f], [name_f]Posey[/name_f] & [name_f]Violetta[/name_f] (flowers).

The names you like share a theme. Each combo is a nature name ([name_m]Fox[/name_m], Cinder, Estellise [star]) grounded by a safer/common name ([name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_f]Aria[/name_f], [name_f]Juliette[/name_f]). And both of your brothers have common & Biblical names. Being the opposite gender, your name really needn’t have anything in common so there’s nothing incongruent about the set (it’s not like it’s [name_m]Paul[/name_m], [name_m]Maximilliano[/name_m] & [name_u]Devin[/name_u])