I’m years off kids but I have an interesting dilemma.
I love the name [name_m]Palmer[/name_m] - I think it’s super spunky and sweet and it’s my uncles middle name. However it’s also a family surname on my dads side of the family whom I have a distant but rough relationship with. Would you use it anyway or does the negative association cancel out the positive one?
I think if you like the name and have a positive connotation to it and also a negative one, you are the only person who can decide if it cancels out. If I was you it would depend on the name and scenario. I like [name_m]Palmer[/name_m]!
I think the fact you mention how much a) you like the name and b)how it honours your uncle first suggests that the bad association could be cancelled out - it’s a fairly common surname too but an unusual first or middle so maybe that honour carries more weight?
Honestly I think this is something that only you can answer. I hate it when a name seems perfect and then an association comes along that ruins everything. I think the fact that your love of [name_m]Palmer[/name_m] has not been impacted by this realization is proof that the association doesn’t matter as much as you may think. I’d probably use it anyways because someday you may associate the name with your child as well, giving you two positive associations compared to one negative one (and tbh, a child of yours with the name will probably beat out all of these).
I don’t think that’s something I could judge. It honestly depends how strong each of those connotations are. If the great name and your uncles name are strong associations, and your father’s family weak, I’d say that it’s a good name. If your first though is associating it with them, then it’s not.