Emilio, Emilian, Emilien, Emile, Emil... thoughts?

Boy Names
1

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] fellow name enthusiasts!

[name_f][/name_f]

I’m [name_f]British[/name_f] and my much longed for little boy is scheduled to arrive any day now. I had been rather set on naming him [name_m]Emilio[/name_m], with the potential nicknames of [name_m]Emmo[/name_m], [name_f]Mio[/name_f], or [name_m]Mills[/name_m]. However, a friend of mine, who himself has Italian heritage, has taken upset with me as he feels I’m being insensitive for giving my [name_f]British[/name_f] son an Italian name. He has said that it is inappropriate and an act of cultural appropriation, to which he has taken offense. This has naturally put a spanner in the works and made me second guess my choice of [name_m]Emilio[/name_m].

[name_f][/name_f]

I apologised to my friend and he has said the only form of the name appropriate for me to use is “Emil,” which I don’t mind, but it does not appeal to me as much as its longer variants. Again, however, my friend angrily scolded me for looking at [name_m]Emilien[/name_m] and [name_m]Emile[/name_m] (French variants of Emil). He reiterated his opinion that [name_m]Emil[/name_m] is the only option that I, as a [name_f]British[/name_f] woman, should be considering for my baby. This interaction with my friend, who has been my friend for over a decade, has made me nervous about naming my son any version of the name that isn’t [name_m]Emil[/name_m]. And, naturally, the last thing I want to do is offend him or others. But I also feel somewhat devastated as I just love the name [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] (and quite like [name_m]Emilien[/name_m] and Emile), and I feel now pressured to choose a more “British” name or [name_m]Emil[/name_m], which is the closest I can get.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Can[/name_m] I please get some thoughts and opinions on this subject, as I feel genuinely thrown.

[name_f][/name_f]

Would [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] be generally seen as inappropriate or problematic for a [name_f]British[/name_f] boy? [name_f]Or[/name_f] is it genuine cultural appropriation on my part?

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think I should use [name_m]Emil[/name_m] as a safer, non-offensive alternative?

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]The[/name_m] bottom line is that I want to choose a name I love, but I also want to be respectful and not set my son up for awkwardness and criticism later on?

[name_f][/name_f]

Thank you in advance. [name_f]Any[/name_f] perspectives are welcome and please be as critical as you feel necessary.

2

I’ve always been a firm believer of using the name that you love, despite outside opinions. Names are so beautiful and meaningful and it’s so intriguing to dig into their historical origins, but at the end of the day it is unlikely that no one would ever have a name that is outside of their origin.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]My[/name_f] older brother has a name with a [name_m]German[/name_m] origin (Emmett), and yet we have no [name_m]German[/name_m] heritage. [name_f]My[/name_f] real name is Greek, and I have no Greek heritage. I have a friend who lives in (and was born in) [name_f]France[/name_f] whose name is Italian (Annunziata), and she receives nothing but compliments. [name_m]The[/name_m] feminine form of [name_m]Emilio[/name_m], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f], also has Italian roots, but I have met a few Emilia’s that were not Italian. Additionally, there’s the [name_f]British[/name_f] actress [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] [name_f]Clarke[/name_f].

[name_f][/name_f]

I also have Italian heritage, and I wouldn’t be offended in the slightest [name_f][/name_f]— [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] is such a handsome name, and I personally wouldn’t blink twice if a non-Italian boy had the name!

[name_f][/name_f]

I hope this helped ease your mind!

2 Likes
4

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply (: [name_m]You[/name_m] have definitely eased my mind a little and given me some hope. I didn’t even think about [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] [name_f]Clarke[/name_f], and it’s ironic because I’ve never second guessed the Italian name [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] on [name_f]British[/name_f] people. I’ve known a few little girls in [name_f]Britain[/name_f] with the name [name_f]Emilia[/name_f].

[name_f][/name_f]

I do love your brother’s name too (Emmett). I’ve such a love for boys names starting with [name_f]Em[/name_f].

1 Like
5

Okay, lots of thoughts incoming :sweat_smile:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f]:

[name_f][/name_f]

I don’t think [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] is problematic for a [name_f]British[/name_f] boy, although I will admit, I would be surprised to meet an [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] who didn’t have some sort of Spanish / Italian / Portuguese heritage or connection. [name_m]Not[/name_m] offended, but still surprised.

[name_f][/name_f]

I don’t think using a name from another language is inherently offensive or appropriative. There are exceptions – like names with strong cultural or religious significance that would be inappropriate for someone from outside that culture. There are also cultural power dynamics [name_f][/name_f] that can come into play – seeing a name from one’s culture become trendy in a different country, while the culture itself and its people face discrimination there as foreign/weird/etc, would obviously be quite frustrating – but I really don’t think that’s the case here.

[name_f][/name_f]

I do think choosing a name that is very strongly tied to one culture you have no connection to is somewhat strange (for example, I would discourage a white American person with no connection to [name_f]Yoruba[/name_f] culture from using the name Ayodele) but [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] is not that kind of name – it’s already a multilingual name, and used in other [name_m]Western[/name_m] European cultures. There is also so much cultural exchange among names in [name_f]Europe[/name_f] – in [name_f]Italy[/name_f], the top 50 baby names contain plenty of non-Italian names like [name_m]Liam[/name_m], [name_m]Christian[/name_m], [name_m]Santiago[/name_m], [name_m]Nathan[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_f]Emily[/name_f], etc!

[name_f][/name_f]

I also don’t think it’s remotely offensive for a [name_f]British[/name_f] person to have a [name_f]French[/name_f] name. Heck, [name_f]Britain[/name_f] was under massive [name_f]French[/name_f] influence after the [name_m]Norman[/name_m] Conquest and tons of [name_f]English[/name_f] words and names come from [name_f]French[/name_f]! [name_f]So[/name_f] many super common “English” names are originally [name_f]French[/name_f] – [name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Danielle[/name_f], [name_f]Denise[/name_f], [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f], [name_f]Annette[/name_f], Pauline… the list goes on.

[name_f][/name_f]

I think [name_m]Emil[/name_m], [name_m]Emilian[/name_m], [name_m]Emilien[/name_m], and [name_m]Emile[/name_m] are more expected for a [name_f]British[/name_f], non-Spanish/Italian/Portuguese child than [name_m]Emilio[/name_m], but I don’t think any of them are offensive. Of course you want to respect your friend’s wishes, but I think most Italian (or French) people would have no problem with a [name_f]British[/name_f] child named [name_m]Emile[/name_m] / [name_m]Emilien[/name_m] / etc.

[name_f][/name_f]

TL;DR: I would find [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] surprising but not offensive on a [name_f]British[/name_f] child with no Spanish/Italian/Portuguese connection, and I would not find it remotely weird or inappropriate to meet a [name_f]British[/name_f] [name_m]Emilian[/name_m], [name_m]Emilien[/name_m], [name_m]Emile[/name_m], or [name_m]Emil[/name_m].

1 Like
6
[name_f][/name_f]

I could not agree with this more! [name_f][/name_f] TBH I’m not sure I can add anything of value beyond what @EagleEyes[name_f][/name_f] has said, beyond the fact that [name_m]Emile[/name_m] is the [name_f]English[/name_f] form of the [name_f]French[/name_f] Émile (See this link). [name_f][/name_f] I would be surprised to meet a non-Latino [name_m]Emilio[/name_m], but I wouldn’t find it offensive, as someone with Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese ancestry!

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]My[/name_f] only other idea if you’d like to keep from ruining your friendship but also choosing a name you love is to look for another [name_f]Em[/name_f]- name? [name_f][/name_f] [name_f]My[/name_f] first thought was [name_m]Emerson[/name_m] nn [name_m]Emmo[/name_m], but there’s also [name_m]Clement[/name_m], [name_m]Emory[/name_m], [name_m]Emmanuel[/name_m], [name_m]Graeme[/name_m], etc.? [name_f][/name_f] Additionally Emilien/Emilian has origins in [name_f]French[/name_f], Polish, and Romanian, and I would consider to be pretty internationally appealing, so I definitely wouldn’t say it’s only [name_f]French[/name_f].

[name_f][/name_f]

All the best with your decision!

1 Like
7

[name_m]No[/name_m] offense but your friend sounds like they might have other issues to work out. [name_m]You[/name_m] are very kind for taking their feelings into account, but I wouldn’t let that take your top choice. [name_f][/name_f] I do not see how [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] is offensive or inappropriate. For some names I do understand but this isn’t one of them.

3 Likes
8

I think @EagleEyes[name_f][/name_f] has put it perfectly.

[name_f][/name_f]

Surprising by not offensive [name_f][/name_f]- and for what it’s worth, [name_m]Emilio[/name_m] is in the charts in [name_f]France[/name_f], Switzerland, Chile, Uruguay, [name_f]Austria[/name_f], Spain, [name_f]England[/name_f] and [name_m]Wales[/name_m], the US, Belgium, [name_f]Brazil[/name_f], and Mexico [name_f][/name_f]- along with [name_f]Italy[/name_f] so it doesn’t feel ‘tied’ to [name_f]Italy[/name_f].

[name_f][/name_f]

Beyond that, [name_m]Luca[/name_m] is one of the top names in the UK, as are [name_f]Freya[/name_f], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f], [name_f]Ayla[/name_f], [name_m]Louis[/name_m], [name_f]Ottilie[/name_f], [name_f]Amelie[/name_f], [name_f]Raya[/name_f], [name_m]Enzo[/name_m], [name_f]Aaliyah[/name_f], [name_f]Ariana[/name_f], [name_m]Rio[/name_m], [name_m]Matteo[/name_m], Rocco…etc. Names cross cultures all the time, and while sometimes it does feel wrong, I don’t believe this is one of those cases

2 Likes
9

Absolutely agree with others [name_f][/name_f]- it would surprise me, but I don’t think it comes close to being ‘offensive’ or cultural appropriation in this case (see @EagleEyes[name_f][/name_f] point about cultural power dynamics).

[name_f][/name_f]

I was also going to make the same point above about [name_f]Emilia[/name_f] being totally commonplace so why not [name_m]Emilio[/name_m]? [name_f]Many[/name_f], many, many names in [name_f]England[/name_f] are Italian, [name_f]French[/name_f], Hebrew, and Greek. If we only used truly [name_f]English[/name_f] names we would all be called Æthelflæd, Friðeswiðe, Wulfhild, etc!

[name_f][/name_f]

I think your options are to choose a different name, or be prepared to have a very tough conversation with/lose the friend. I’d lean towards the latter. [name_m]You[/name_m] can get the stats from nameberry or behindthename if you need the evidence! One person is not worth a lifetime of being sad inside when you call your kid’s name.

3 Likes
10

I hope you’re feeling better about using the name Emilio. It’s a cool name, I especially love O ending names!

You’ve been given so many arguments here, including that Emilio is a Latin (Italian, French, Spanish & Portuguese) name. Moreover, Western Europe is historically very intermingled (the Romans conquered the UK for goodness’ sakes!).

Also, as above, does your friend have the same feelings about the top Italian names of recent decades including so many “non-Italian” names? Is he worried about William, Catherine & their three children having Germanic, Greek & French names?

If Emilio is suspect then so are most names used in multicultural countries today. Goodbye Leo & Sophia, just to name two!

Cultural appropriation is when you take from a country or group that has been historically marginalised and exploit the benefits but share none of the burdens of that culture, or you are somehow making fun of/ mocking that name/practice/custom. This is clearly not the case!

Also, it sounds like you friend lives in the UK - and therefore supports multiculturalism and cultural exchange? Maybe he’s feeling especially homesick right now or some intense defensiveness about Italy for some reason. This might make him feel like you’re taking something you shouldn’t. But this is his personal feeling, this isn’t shared reality.

I would go for the open but firm chat, give him some counter arguments, and ask him if there’s anything else going on. But make it clear you’re using the name, hope he can soften and get on board but will be going ahead with it. Don’t change your plans for a friend (or anyone).

1 Like
11
[name_f][/name_f]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:[name_f][/name_f] (I like some of those original names, Leofwyn for eg. But it’s slim pickings esp for girls!)

1 Like
12

Idk, I wouldn’t mind being Æthelflæd :rofl:

1 Like