Are there any names you feel protective of? As in you hate seeing a certain boy name used on a girl, or in the opposite a name you want to use on a boy/girl that others don’t feel should be used or a name that often gets butchered into nicknames? Or maybe a name on your list, or name of your kid or a kid you know, that you get protective and defensive over when someone either wants to use it or perhaps when they try to bash it?
I’ve just realized I get this way with a couple names.
Like when I hear people want to turn [name_m]Emrys[/name_m] into a unisex or girls name even though it’s a strong Welsh boys name. I cringe thinking I might come across little girls with the name cause E’s and Vowels are super popular and currently feminized.
Or how I want [name_m]Quill[/name_m] as a girls name but everyone seems to think I should feminize it to [name_m]Aquilla[/name_m] or [name_f]Quilla[/name_f] because [name_m]Quill[/name_m] is predicted to be an upcoming pick for a boys name, what with the superhero [name_m]Jason[/name_m] [name_m]Quill[/name_m] and how single syllable slightly unique names are hot right now.
Or even how people dis [name_m]Jaydan[/name_m] (and variants so bad), because my sister in law wanted to use the name since 2000 but then hasn’t been able to conceive. Then britney spears had the name and there was [name_m]Will[/name_m] Smiths son, and then the huge [name_u]Aiden[/name_u] epidemic with variations of it that so quickly got on everyone’s nerves and now she can’t use the name she had loved for so many reasons. And [name_u]Jaden[/name_u] (all spellings) isn’t really a bad name, I still love it, but the popularity killed it.
I was just wondering if anyone else had those protective or defensive feelings for certain names.
I’ve always loved old-lady sounding names, and I remember years ago my friends telling me that I wouldn’t be giving birth to an 80 year old- but now they are all the rage! And my friend has even picked the same few names that I was in love with That makes me really sad.
Absolutely! DH and I have narrowed down our list of favorites for boys and girls (no kids yet) and our top boy name is one I’ve seen bashed on quite a few threads here. I’ve also seen it come up on several “names I like but probably wouldn’t use” lists. The more we discuss it, the more we love it, but seeing how fiercely critical people can be has made me feel not only defensive, but overly secretive - I don’t even want to give the name here, despite finding it on this site!
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and eliciting thoughts from users on forums like this can lead to fresh ways of thinking… I just wish some folks were a little more sensitive, especially since so many of us here tend to prefer less traditional names. Rather than give up on a name I love because of what others think, I’m learning that I just need to keep those really special names to myself.
Absolutely. Probably the name I am most protective about is [name_u]Austen[/name_u].
I have loved it since I was about 8, and back then I knew I wanted to name a future son [name_u]Austen[/name_u]. And then as I got older and starting doing research on the name, I found that in [name_u]America[/name_u], [name_m]Austin[/name_m] is an extremely popular name and place. Where I live, I have still never met someone called [name_m]Austin[/name_m] or [name_u]Austen[/name_u], and so I get protective when people say it’s very overused and trendy. [name_m]Austin[/name_m] has only just entered the top 100 in Australia this past year, and [name_u]Austen[/name_u] is an established last name here.
I also get very proctective when people say that [name_u]Austen[/name_u] spelt that particular way is very feminine, because of [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_u]Austen[/name_u]. Some of my closest guy friends, including my husband, are fans of [name_f]Jane[/name_f] [name_u]Austen[/name_u]. I really dislike that it’s automatically “girly” because of a female author.
I’m protective of other names too, but [name_u]Austen[/name_u] is definitely the top one, probably because it was the first name I ever loved
Yes, [name_f]My[/name_f] granddaughter’s name I had never heard it before coming to this site and I saw and fell in love with it and mentioned it to my daughter and she loved it! Then after she had [name_u]Rylie[/name_u](I would have spelled it [name_u]Rylee[/name_u] the [name_u]Lee[/name_u] part to recognize my mother) I started seeing all the reviews about how popular it was and how many people disliked it and how it was a gender neutral name (I saw it and only thought girl)
Also my daughter [name_f]Autumn[/name_f]. When I named her that I thought is that is was unusual, elegant and could be a classical name. Years later (she is 23 now) I found it on a stripper girls name list. Really??
I think all name nerds are protective of at least one name - I’m protective over my top 10-15 names, but there’s some ([name_f]Martha[/name_f], [name_f]Myrtle[/name_f], [name_f]Florence[/name_f], [name_m]Louis[/name_m], [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], [name_m]Andrew[/name_m], etc) that I feel more protective of than others.
[name_u]Love[/name_u] this thread!
I’m protective of [name_f]Maud[/name_f]. People hate it so much it makes me sad.
I think it is a strong, no nonsense, unique girl name. It means battle might.
@rheabaxter - I actually love the name [name_m]Dewey[/name_m]!
@maybe_someday_baby I actually love [name_f]Maud[/name_f]/[name_f]Maude[/name_f]!
I get a little snippy when my daughter’s names get negative comments. But especially her first middle [name_f]Afton[/name_f]. I don’t really know why it’s worse with [name_f]Afton[/name_f] than with [name_f]Florence[/name_f] or [name_f]Eugenia[/name_f].
Some others are [name_m]Remus[/name_m] & [name_u]Presley[/name_u]
Oh yes, definitely.
[name_f]My[/name_f] biggest problem is when people bash on boys names for girls. Apparently the name [name_u]Chase[/name_u] isn’t feminine enough for some people and so on.
Boys names on girls are about 90% of my girls list but people don’t take to them real well.
Another thing I get defensive about is when people tell me I’m spelling a name wrong.
If I want to spell [name_u]Micah[/name_u], [name_f]Mykah[/name_f] I sure as heck can! I just am not a huge fan of traditional spellings, I guess that bugs some people.
As far as specific names… [name_m]Ive[/name_m] never heard either of my top two names used on anyone ever as a first name. At least not the spellings I use. [name_m]Kavanaugh[/name_m] and Huckston aren’t that popular, so I guess I lucked out there. I do hate when people spell Huckston with an X or [name_m]Kavanaugh[/name_m] with a C, but that’s more of a preference than anything.
So no, you’re definitely not the only one to get defensive over names!
I feel over protective of the name [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m]! When I made a thread on the name [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] barely anyone said they liked the name. Almost everyone who commented thought I was only liking the name because of [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] Culkin I love the name [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] partly because of him and how much I admire him! I think he is such an amazing actor and the fact that he overcame a drug addiction is really brave and smart thing to do it’s not an easy thing to do either and the fact he did overcome it really makes me adore him. I also love the name [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] because of how it’s Scottish and my Dad’s side of the family is in fact Scottish and me, myself am a quarter Scottish. And I also love the name because I think it has a lot of interesting history to it and I love the way it stands out and has a nice feeling to it and it’s cute,sweet,adorable and an overall lovely name. And some people thought I was only going to use the middle name [name_m]Kevin[/name_m] because of [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] Culkin’s character [name_m]Kevin[/name_m] McCallister is Home Alone and it is partly to do with that but I also think it’s a lovely name and my Dad also has a best friend named [name_m]Kevin[/name_m] so I love the name for that reason too. So I get over protective of the names [name_m]Macaulay[/name_m] and [name_m]Kevin[/name_m].
I think the best way to deal with a “protective” instinct like that is to take a step back and consider peoples comments. Evaluate if those comments effect how you feel about the name. I do this with every negative comment and I’ve been finding that many of the negative comments I get over some of my favorites are actually the things I love about them…
[name_u]Dexter[/name_u] - “like the fictional serial killer?”; [name_f]Merida[/name_f] - “the Disney [name_f]Princess[/name_f]” etc…
In which case, I relish the fact that other people dislike the name for that reason. It just means that there are less people who will be using that name in the future for their kids. Woot!
I think with comments like “looks misspelled” or “makes the family look unintelligent/undereducated” etc… one can always take a look at the name again, the spelling, the reasons for the spelling… if ti’s your favorite reason then maybe your internal monologue just needs to be “those people have no imagination” or “they are not up with the times” etc.
I totally agree! I love it when people diss my DD’s name because it means it’s less likely to skyrocket even higher than it’s come, which is already too high for me. Like some PPs, I don’t even want to say the other names I’m protective of, because people come to Nameberry for inspiration.
I feel really definitive over all of my favourites. It’s the main reason why I get so worried about names I love becoming more popular or liked. And I definitely agree with [name_m]Emrys[/name_m]; I’m crossing my fingers it stays very underused as a name or else becomes more popular for boys only.
Not really. If someone doesn’t like a name then they don’t like it. So unless they’re really bashing the name, then I won’t get defensive.
And if I like a name then I will gladly share it, I don’t care if someone else uses it…
I recently told my friend and her stepmom that I love flower names like [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] and especially [name_f]Violet[/name_f], and the disgust they had was incredibly hurtful. I actually almost cried and thought there was something wrong with me, but obviously I’m not the only one!
I also hate how everyone looks down on popular names like [name_u]Noah[/name_u], going so far as to judge people who use top ten names. Sometimes the name you adore ends up popular, but that’s no reason to push it aside if it’s what you truly want!
[name_u]Elliott[/name_u]! In Nameberry’s best name guide the authors put it as a girls name (and a boys name) and I was like “are you kidding me? Yes let’s help the boys names turning girls names trend out here but of course no one would put [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] in the boys name section (thank goodness)”
That makes me really sad.
