[name_m]Just[/name_m] wondering if anyone here has had an experience of living with an unintuitive or less than intuitive nickname for their name.
Was it easy or hard to enforce?
Were people resistant to the nickname, or refused to call you that?
Was it chosen by you, by others, or by your parents?
Anything else would be very helpful as well
Iām considering in the future going by a less than intuitive nickname for my name and while it makes sense, itās certainly not what people would default to. [name_m]Hence[/name_m], I would love to hear about your experiences!
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents chose my full name because they loved my nickname and the only other name they could think of that lent itself to the nickname was so common that I already had two cousins named it. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad didnāt want to call me by only my nickname because there is a song with as sexual innuendo in it that features my name and he didnāt love the idea of calling his daughter that. So I was exclusively introduced as my nickname growing up. Very easy to enforce. Most people in day to day life would see me in person before seeing my full name, so I would just introduce myself by the name I prefer (my nickname) and they would be slightly surprised when they encountered my full name but never used it instead of my nickname. It might be a slightly different situation for you since you would be asking people who already know you by one name to call you something different but I never really had any problems. Sometimes people are curious enough to ask about it and I tell them
How are unintuitive are we talking? Along the lines of āIzzyā for [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], or something more like āTheaā for [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]? Both are unintuitive but technically make senseā¦ However, [name_u]Izzy[/name_u] would be easier to reinforce due to the similar sounds.
Iām [name_f]Stella[/name_f], but went by [name_u]Clove[/name_u] when I was 10-11. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a nickname I picked for myself that had no relationship with my actual name. People pretty much respected it. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents would roll their eyes at me, but they went along with it. People would often make mistakes like, āhey Stell- oh, sorry, Clove!ā You may get a bit of that, but probably less so since your nickname actually derives from your actual name.
Some people resisted. But like I said, most people were respectful even if they didnāt understand why I was going by such a random name.
I think you should go for it. Worst case scenario, some people wonāt respect it - however, you can get this with any name related thing: I know people named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] that are called [name_f]Beth[/name_f], despite their expressed dislike for it. Some people unfortunately will say whatever they want, regardless of how it impacts others!
The people you love and that love you will respect your name preferences even if they donāt understand it.
Attaching a screenshot from my mumās Facebook that I thought was funny lol - this was how my parents would make Facebook posts about me when I was going by Clove!
[name_u]Love[/name_u] that! Nice that she was pretty supportive of the endeavor, even if it wasnāt completely understood.
[name_u]Clove[/name_u] is a pretty awesome nickname, by the way!
Not me, but my mum goes by an less intuitive nickname.
People often latch onto the nickname if they hear others use it - but if they donāt, theyāll call her by her full name. I believe it was given to her by parents or friends as a kid.
I guess thatās one thing Iāve learned. Obviously, itās easier with a nickname youāve had since childhood, but getting people āon sideā seems to work - people will copy each other - if friends/family keep calling you by the nickname, others will do it too.
Thatās a great insight - people generally follow if a few people are calling someone by a certain nickname. The trick is getting a few people to go for it (which can sometimes be hard)
That does sound a whole lot easier and less awkward than announcing it to the world and it being kinda awkward
Iāve always been a little annoyed that me name doesnāt come with an easy nickname. I mean, it does have some, but theyāve just never felt sparky to me and they arenāt as easy as Lizzie for Elizabeth or Josie for Josephine. My name is pretty short, so I feel like the nickname options are limited.
Iāve always liked nicknames, though! I feel that they are sweet and kind of a nice personal connection-therefore I wouldnāt go by a nickname all the time, I would just have one as a affectionate thing between my and my friends family. Iāve always wished I had a nickname but one had just never caught on.
I have had sort of nicknames, mostly because little children just cannot pronounce my name AT ALL. When I was little my toddler friend called me āLoleezā for years, and my BFFs little brother called me āWuweez.ā Iāve also have Meleez and Lulu. The cutest one was when my little brother would call me āEeezā like the last syllable of my name. Most of these were lost when the little kids grew up and could finally say my name properly.
I do have the nickname Lou, which my school friends call me sometimes, and I really like it! They kind of just started calling me it, I didnāt really say anything, or ask for it. I wish more people called me Lou cause I think itās so cute, but i also like that itās just a little things between me and a couple friends.
As a bonus answer, my brother Ivan went by Ivy almost all the time from ages 1-6 within our family and close friends. At some point though, it just stopped, although his school friends nickname him Ivy which I think is so cute. Iāve asked him about it, and he says that he likes the nickname Ivy, but same as me, wouldnāt ask to be called it.
So basically, we havenāt told anyone we go by a nickname, we both just let it happen naturally with certain people, but many nicknames stopped once we both grew up, which I find interesting. I think if you wanted to go by a nickname, you could say āMy name is ---------- ā----ā.ā or My name is ā--------ā but I go by ā-------ā" And see how people respond. Personally, I love unintuitive nicknames! I think that it will be totally accepted my some people, and with otherās harder to enforce, not just one or the other.
I canāt speak from my own personal experience, but a nine year old child that Iām very close to has a very un-intuitive nick-name. Itās been the name that she was called from birth though, so itās a little different than starting to go by a new nick-name as a grown person. Her name is She1la Ann3 nick-named Ann1. Everyone knows her as Ann1 and always have. But when she meets a new teacher or goes to the doctorās office,etc, she gets called She1la. And honestly, she just rolls with it. But thatās just her personality too. She likes the fancier She1la on occasion, I think for myself, this would make me feel really awkward. So, I guess it just depends on how much you feel like dealing with it. If youāre good with the attention and speaking up for yourself, it shouldnāt be a problem.
[name_f]My[/name_f] dad and brother both go by very unintuitive nicknames that sound nothing like their āactualā names, and theyāve have very few issues outside of initial introductions. And with my brother, he was 15/16 when he started going by his and now that its been 20+ years no one even really questions it. I think if the nickname is even kind of related to the first name it will be even easier for others to catch on, and correcting would be easy enough in most situations I would think
Itās been fairly easy for me, since I introduce myself by that nickname! I donāt go by my full name or its other, more intuitive nickname ever, and people rarely ask what itās short for. If they do, the reaction is usually something along the lines of āoh, thatās cool!ā.
Like others mentioned, people are pretty eager to call you what you introduce yourself as or hear others referring to you as, even if itās a bit unorthodox. Iād definitely recommend using the nickname full-time if you want it to stick! If you say āIām [name_f]Anna[/name_f], but I also go by [name_f]Nina[/name_f] as a nicknameā people will most likely just call you [name_f]Anna[/name_f], but if you introduce yourself as [name_f]Nina[/name_f] then they wonāt question that your ID says [name_f]Anna[/name_f], for instance.
[name_f]My[/name_f] sister goes by a not-too-intuitive nickname (N@talie nn T@lly). I think it helps that sheās 100% fine with being called her full name, but when we were younger I wanted a nn for her and we tried out a couple (Leah/Lia/Lea, [name_f]Talia[/name_f], etc.) before T@lly struck. She loves the nickname; it wasnāt instigated by her (I recommended it), but she refers to herself as N@talie and T@lly about 50%/50%. I donāt think it is that difficult to enforce; sheās fine with being called either, but if she introduces herself as T@lly, people generally follow suit. I donāt think anyone was necessarily reticent to call her that, although most of my family still calls her N@talie. If Iām referring to her as T@lly, others (including my mom) will follow suit, but my dad and siblings still call her N@talie. [name_f]My[/name_f] friends and acquaintances that donāt really know my other family outside of me refer to her as T@lly, probably because I do. It sort of came about because we both liked the idea of a nn but she hates N@t. tbh I would love to use a nn for myself that isnāt necessarily [name_u]Ash[/name_u] too, but Iām always reticent to instigate it myself; partially, anything I think of seems too unintuitive, but also, I worry itād never stick. Iāve liked the idea of Maria/Masha, [name_f]Emmy[/name_f], Lise/Liesey, [name_f]Lena[/name_f], and [name_f]Lela[/name_f] in the past, although Iām not sure half of them really suit me lol.
Thatās a good point, actually!
I think the whole āmy name is X but you can call me Yā only works when itās an intuitive nickname (e.g. Hi Iām Anna but you can call me Annie)
Otherwise itās probably better just to introduce as the nickname in order to eliminate confusion.
Just worried about places in which would be registered as full name and have to introduce as less than intuitive nickname when full name is on the roll.
Thatās a great point - having some relation to the name definitely helps. Elizabeth āIzzyā (which is more the extent of my nickname) would catch on a lot more than Elizabeth āEmmaā. Thank you! Also glad to hear it works for your brother and dad
Thatās me!
Iād be quite able to explain it and correct it.
The only thing standing in my way is family disapproval, honestly. But theyāre not big on nicknames anyhow
For Louise, Iāve always loved Lucy! That feels quite sparky and reasonably intuitive for Louise!
Iām lowkey worried about how people would respond, unfortunately- my friends on Nameberry love the nickname and think it really works, but irl Iām not sure. And my parents donāt think it works (along with any other nickname Iāve pitched to them - I think they just hate nicknames in general) and Iāve gotta respect their wishes. Hopefully theyāll come around soon!
I have a very intuitive nickname that I go by 100% of the time. the only reason itās really considered a nickname is because I technically have a different name on my birth certificate. my nickname is so popular that when my full name became a top name, the most popular nickname for it rose into the top 200 too. so while itās not unheard of for people to have my nickname as a full name, itās much more likely that if you ran into someone with my name, it was a nickname, if that makes sense.
even though I never use my full name, never have, likely never will, I have still had some people learn my full name (sometimes after knowing me for years) and then try to use it instead of my actual name. that will always be baffling to me. some people just donāt understand having a name attached to them, whether legally or otherwise, but not wanting to use it. I correct those who try to use my legal name and move on. and honestly, if they continue to call me by something I donāt like, then I donāt continue the relationship. thatās a dealbreaker for me. I donāt want to be close with someone who canāt understand the simple request, ādonāt call me that.ā
(which can sometimes be hard)