My son [name]Darby[/name] is now 9 days old. Not meaning to be crude but the boy is permenant attached to my boob and always hungry! I breastfed his 2 brothers until they were weaned with no problems. I’m not sure whether to continue persisting with breastfeeding despite how much it’s draining me and hope that he settles down or to move to bottles etc. Docs have said is completely up to me but just not sure what to do… Anyone else experienced this problem??
I had this problem too. I was exhausted, my boobs were sore, I was neglecting my other child and my house was a mess.
We began supplementing with formula when she was about 6 weeks old. It helped so much - Others could help feed her (ie DH during the night) and it seemed to keep her fuller for longer. I had more free time (I also felt like she was permanently attached to me!) and was a lot calmer.
We still formula feed by night and BF by day. Sometimes, we throw in a bottle feed by day too. My supply has gone down and I don’t think I’d be able to get it back up if I wanted to, which is something to consider.
I’d definitely recommend combi feeding. Best of luck to you!
Thanks lucykate. Did you find you had any problems switching between breast and bottle? Would be a new experience for us as we went straight from breast to sippy cup at about 6 months with the other 2… I’ll be very interested in how much weight he’s put on when health visitor comes on monday…
I have been switching between breast and bottle since the beginning. My daughter is 5 weeks old and we haven’t had any problems. I mostly do bottles in the day (and breast feed a bit here and there when it’s easier/quicker to pop a boob out instead of making a bottle!) and breastfeed exclusively in the night. She seems to really like both. She’s also a big eater and seems hungry pretty much all the time! I hope that helps…I know we are lucky cause I have heard of ‘nipple confusion’ but she really seems fine with both.
I also have training in breastfeeding. #1 Breast milk is the perfect food for your baby. It is cheap, sterilised, contains antibodies and is 100% portable.
The milk at the end of a breast feed it more dense- it is called hind milk. If he is falling asleep at the breast it may be worth waking him up (a nappy change and a tepid face washer usually does the trick!) then reattach so he gets that calorie dense hind milk that comes at the end of a feed. This will keep him full longer.
In the scheme of life a few weeks is not worth stressing about and I totally agree with mimimommy that switching to a bottle not only can cause nipple confusion but negatively impact on long term speech development of your baby.
Stick with it, in the long run it will settle and life will be alot easier than toting around bottles and sterilising.
If you are desperately tired and not coping I strongly suggest contacting a lactation consultant for 1:1 support and advice to help sort out any specific needs you might have.
Keep persevering, you are doing a great job!
emiliaj
Not sure how much use this is, but here is my experience: My daughter used to breastfeed for up to an hour quite often if I let her, and I usually did, unless I reallly needed to be doing something else. She was generally a very physically independent baby - preferred to be rocked to sleep in a bassinet rather than be cuddled - but liked long, sleepy, cuddly feeds, so I figured this was our cuddle time and just enjoyed it. Although I had a luxury of time, as she is my first born!
[name]Just[/name] wondering if you mean formula when you talk about using bottles? I expressed and used bottles of breastmilk from about 2 weeks, usually 1 feed per day and usually given by my husband. It allowed me to catch up on sleep here and there and got her used to switching between the two and being fed by someone else (also good for having a glass of wine!)
Some good points raised by others of things to check out. Also I would say it’s early days, hang in there if you can
Thankyou for all your very helpful advice. I’m pretty sure there’s not much up with his latch etc. He’s pretty much draining both breasts completely at each feed now. There are a few when he’ll have one and a half but he always has more than just one. Big increase on the others who pretty much alternated each feed. He does have a tendency to fall asleep as he finishes the second one - to be honest am grateful for that! We’re going through 7-8 wet nappies a day. Nipples are ok but breasts are filling that much already: is a little alarming! He is a big baby 10lb 7oz birthweight - wondering if thats the reason? Am just exhausted all the time. I’ll be very surprised if he hasn’t put on weight on monday… I’ll look into breastfeeding groups etc. - thanks for that. J
I would be weary of substituting any feeds at this early stage while your supply is still establishing itself. If you do, your supply will take longer to reach a point where it meets his needs and you might end up having to substitute more and more which can lead to a whole other range or problems (nipple confusion, breast refusal etc.)
In the end though you have to choose what is right for your family and if moving to bottles is going to save your sanity than it might be what you need to do.
If it was me I’d try and ride it out as long as possible, it normally takes a few weeks for things to get settled so hopefully in time things will improve for you.
I strongly disagree with this, it was my midwife that recommended I combi feed because baby was losing weight. At times, she was unable to get any milk out and she was miserable with trapped air because of it. When she was able to latch properly, it felt like she was permanently attached to me. My family doctor as well as my midwife and health visitor advised me to top up her feeds with formula. They wouldn’t have advised this if it were proven that combi fed babies had speech problems?
Also nipple confusion wasn’t an issue in my case. I’m aware that its a very possible reality though. I just don’t agree with your point about speech problems.
Could you try using a sling? This would allow you to be hands free, but also feed the baby as often as he’d like. It really is important to establish a good supply early-on. After 6 weeks, it’s usually safer to start supplementing as needed. [name]Just[/name] remember, it’s all about supply and demand. He’s a bigger baby and he might be demanding more than your other children did. The good news is that your body seems to be doing the right thing-- it’s making more supply for the demand! It will get better! The first few weeks really are hard and the baby is growing so quickly in that stage. Regarding soreness, I really like the lansinoh cream. Also some nice nursing pads (change often so they stay clean/dry) are good for soreness.
Thanks crunchymama - sling is a good idea: hadn’t thought of that! Thanks for that web link too - very informative!
As to the earlier question of whether he’s gaining weight… drum roll please!.. he now weighs 11lbs 5oz - so much for initial weight loss and back to birth weight by now… The health visitor gave me permission to be very tired! Otherwise all’s fine!
I’m glad he’s gaining so well! My girls were pirrahnas for the first few weeks. They didn’t settle into a more relaxed nursing pattern until maybe 6-8 weeks. Before this, they would have days where they wanted to do nothing but nurse. I agree that it’s exhausting, but they spread out their feedings (without any help from me) eventually.
I’m going to say a word that might alarm some breast-feeding advocates, but I have 5 healthy children that were all breastfed, so I am speaking from my own positive experience…pacifier. Shhhh…:o)
The baby that I nanny for had to use a bottle (not by choice, mom said that the tap just dried up.) As a nanny, well, what can I say I can’t breastfeed him! He’s now reaching a year old and switching to whole milk and doing great. He has no problem whatsoever talking. Obviously, he doesnt say words yet but he’s very verbal, and extremely smart.
That being said, I personally want to breastfeed when the time comes. I know there are so many philosophies about how to do it, and I have no idea what they are! I think I’ll just do what works for the babies and what my pediatrician tells me. It would be interesting to hear what berries have to say about their own experiences.
The baby’s older sister is two and is super addicted to her pacifier and has crooked teeth. Therefore the baby is kept as far from that thing as possible. The mom kindof gives it to her as a drug though, if that makes sense. However, I know another 2 year old who used it NOT excessively (when he was little, doesnt use it anymore) and did fine. He breastfeeds, and still does sometimes for bed, etc. but used the binky in the car for " emergencies" etc when he was very little, because his mom went back to activities and being a mom to her 5 other kids.
Beanie, since I’m a fan of your comments now, what do you (and other berries) recommend for people who want to breastfeed but still keep their sanity? And I dont mind the use of the pacifier as long as it’s like the second situation I mentioned and not the first! Thanks!
@amenspanglish, Thanks! I’ve chosen to breastfeed my kids, but every situation was very different. I had them in pairs at different stages of my life, some while working, others while staying at home, some supplemented with formula, others not. Some of my kids loved the pacifier, others weren’t really into it. All of my girls were early talkers regardless of whether they had bottles, or pacifiers, or whatever. I’ve never known of a correlation between speech and early feeding. I understand there have been some studies about that mentioned above, but my own experience doesn’t make me a believer. There are always studies being done. In my experience, the thing that helps speech is to talk to your kids ALOT and avoid “babytalk”. My son developed speech at a normal rate. He was a die-hard pacifier addict and switched between breastmilk and formula, but he has lovely straight teeth and is very intelligent and a high achiever. In my nest, I’ve got wonderful readers, an artist, a gifted musician, a chess enthusiast, all bright little birdies. I think spending quality time and choosing to nurture your kids makes the difference regardless of how they are fed. Not everyone can breastfeed for various reasons, but breastmilk is the ideal food, and I LOVED being able to get away from the chaos in order to feed the baby in peace. Great way to keep your sanity! My advice would be the same as it is with pretty much everything about motherhood: stay flexible, don’t be afraid to blaze your own path, do what works for YOU and YOUR child, and keep cuddling no matter how tall they get!
Thanks! I feel pretty similarly, that really what works for every child is different. I think that even though this little girl is very intelligent and a great talker, I’m not such a fan of the crooked teeth. I guess your son had better luck. Babytalk sometimes is okay because it’s a way to demonstrate that you are trying to connect with them. Though I do agree that it’s important to also use real words too and to talk a LOT! The more the better. I speak spanish and english to the baby, but also call spanish speakers on the speakerphone so he can hear it from native speakers too!
I had a similar experience with my twins last summer- it felt as though they were permanently attached. When they weren’t nursing they were sleeping on me having fallen asleep eating. I remember one particularly rough day where I didn’t move from the couch for literally 7 hours because I was home alone and didn’t have a way to get them off me without waking them between feedings. They would eat for about an hour each time and want to eat every 2 hours (counting, of course, from when they started eating). Ugh. Thinking back on it I have no idea how I managed it. This lasted about 3 months- sounds like forever I know- by which time they were almost 18 pounds (from about 6 at birth)! (but I lost all 50 lbs of my pregnancy weight in about 8 weeks!) At every doctor’s appointment, she would ask if we had noticed any changes in their eating and each time we would say, ugh no they still eat all the time. Surprised, she would try to encourage us by saying, well soon it will change. Not having had any other kids before we were not sure what she meant by “change” but finally, after about 12 weeks, they suddenly only had to eat every 4 hours. It was very liberating! While I was glad they constant round the clock nursing was over, I was glad I stuck with it.
I was in a situation where I was able to accommodate the demanding feeding schedule, but I recognize that it is not something that is possible for every family. You have to do what works for your particular situation.
Instead of giving up breast milk altogether you could use both. Pump if he gets too used to the bottle… Breast milk is so good for your baby, I would at least try both if you don’t want/can’t do only breast milk… GOOD [name]LUCK[/name] :).
Hello everyone! Thankyou all for your support and advice. I have stuck with exclusively breastfeeding despite how overwhelmingly tired I’ve been - my boobs are huge so they’re def responding to demand, trying not to think about how floppy they’re going to be afterwards…! [name]Darby[/name] is 1 month old today and currently weighs 13lbs 7oz. He does settle about 50% of days now but other days he wants to keep feeding after both breasts are empty. Am still not sure whether to supplement him or not - he’s obviously gaining weight completely fine but he is fussy after some feeds - any ideas? Thanks [name]Jessie[/name]
