I’m not sure if anyone can actually give me any advice on this, but maybe I just need to vent.
I have four sons, the oldest is almost 6 (from my ex-husband), the second is 17 months old and the twins were born last [name_u]December[/name_u]. Ideally we’d have one or two more children in the next few years. But nobody can predict the future of course.
Before I had to stay home on sick leave while I was pregnant with the twins, I was working full-time as a psychologist in a hospital. I have three months left of maternity leave before I have to go back to work, so it’s not extremely urgent, but I’ve been thinking about what I’d want to do in the future. I don’t think I can go back to working full-time. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO is absolutely amazing, when it comes to raising the children and doing the housework we’re equals. I also have my twin brother who helps us out a lot, and we’ll practically be living together in a few months, so that’s very helpful. So it’s not just the practical things, but I want to spend more time with my children, I don’t want to be running around and hurrying from here to there all the time. I also struggle with anxiety, so I need time and space to think and stay sane. Financially working part-time would be possible, but difficult, since we’ve only just bought a new house.
I don’t know what to do. I love my job, and when I was pregnant with my first I swore I’d never be one of those women who gave up their job to take care of the children. But now my life is different, so many things about me are different. I don’t want to give up my job completely, but I’ve been thinking about starting my own practice as a psychologist, so I can decide for myself how much I want to work. But in that case I’d lose all financial certainty. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO would still have his job of course.
How do you decide what’s best for you and your family? This whole thing is giving me more anxiety than I already had