Family critical of my name choice :(

I’m so down. I have thought and thought about it and want to name my daughter (due in 4 weeks) [name]Paisley[/name] [name]Catherine[/name].

My sister pressured me into telling her my choice and then screwed her face up and walked away, and my Mum said she didn’t like it either…

I wanted to keep it a secret for this very reason. People wont be critical when the baby is born but before they will say awful things.

Now I am starting to doubt my choice?

Should I go back to the drawing board or tell them to shut up unless they have anything nice to say

[name]Hi[/name], [name]Nina[/name]! I’m sorry that your family doesn’t like the name you picked. I personally think that the most important thing about a name is that you love it, your husband loves it, and your child loves it. That said, I like the combination of [name]Paisley[/name] [name]Catherine[/name]- a unique first name with a classic middle name. In case you’re doubting your choice, I would suggest that you keep looking for other names, but keep [name]Paisley[/name] [name]Catherine[/name] as a possiblity. If you do end up naming your daughter [name]Paisley[/name], I’m sure your relatives will forget their dislike of the name and welcome the latest addition to the family. If they don’t, well, she’s already named and they can’t do anything about that!

Here’s a Nameberry blog titled “When Mom Hates Your [name]Baby[/name]'s Name”, I think you’ll find it helpful:

My daughter who has just had her baby had the same result with her inlaws, and it was hard to take but they decided that they liked the name and that was that.

If you are going for an unique choice people will criticise just love the name enough to disregard their criticism, your family will love your baby whether they like the name or not.

All the best hope you feel a bit better now.

I think if you really love the name, use it, it’s your child and as you said, once the baby is here they will love her regardless of her name. If it were me I would rather love the name I gave her and deal with the criticism now then have regrets about the name when the she’s older.

[name]Just[/name] to play devil’s advocate, if their opinion of the name has made you question it so quickly…maybe you were having doubts about the name yourself deep down?

Maybe you were keeping it secret because you weren’t completely comfortable with your choice. Maybe the names more of a guilty pleaseure to you and less of a name you can really see yourself using day to day and maybe their reaction has confirmed your fears.

I like some unusual names, but some I feel so strong about no one’s opinion would change my mind.

If you really love the name don’t let them sway you!

Maybe you are right. But I think it is more a case of them being family, I am very close to them and their opinions count to me. We always discuss everything but at the same time I get hurt that they know I love it and they still screw their noses up at it… I would be more positive if the situation were reversed.

I find my self thinking ‘how can you not adore that name? its so sweet and feminine?!’

I think deep down I [name]DO[/name] love the name but I want to please the people that matter to me too. However, that is not the way baby naming should work… I need to please, me, my husband and this baby. Everybody else can go jump :slight_smile:

[name]Nina[/name] when you are a sensitive person and you like to have the approval of your family it is hard to take when they do not agree with your choices.

However, this is one area where the parents need to find a name for their baby that makes them feel really happy. You and your husband have found this name which is wonderful because sometimes it is really hard to find common ground when naming your baby.

It would be wonderful if your nearest and dearest liked or loved the name that you have chosen for your baby, but realistically people have very different likes and dislikes in names and your naming style is obviously very different to your mother’s style.

You need to stay true to what rings your bells, even if that means for the first time you do not have the wholehearted approval of the family.

Of course, your family may come around in time after the surprise of finding you choosing a name they would not have considered.

Yes, it is disappointing to find that they do not share the positive feelings you have toward the name, but other than changing the name to please them, which I would strongly advise against then you will have to understand that it is not a personal insult from them to you just a reaction because it is not their style.

However, it would be very wrong of them to continue the criticism of the name in front of you after the child is born, they must do their best to overcome the choice and just love the baby unconditionally.

If however, you are not sure if it is THE name by all means go back to the drawing board, and if you need some naming help the nameberries would love to help you find a name you like better.

Thank you so much. That is very sound advice and clears some feelings up for me.

It is particularly hard when you agonize over a name so much in the first place only to proudly announce it and have your family smirk and roll their eyes. Let my story be a warning to those who break their silence before baby is born!!!

I did consult the nameberries and they were a fantastic help as always.

Thank you, I feel a lot better already :slight_smile:

[name]Glad[/name] you’re feeling better and for what its worth I think [name]Paisley[/name] is a very pretty name and [name]Catherine[/name] is the perfect mn to pair with it to balance it out with a classic name :slight_smile:

Best of luck!

Take my advise and name your daughter what you want to name her. If you change your mind now you might look back and regret that you didnt use your favorite name. My sister doesnt like the boys name we have picked out for your first son, [name]Andreas[/name], and I know the rest of my family probably wont love it either. They are the type that dont venture out past [name]James[/name] and [name]Matthew[/name]. My dad though [name]Dominic[/name] was “weird” when my sister chose it for her son, I can only imagine what he will think of my choices. You are never going to please everyone with your name choice, so dont try. This is your baby, your mom got her turn to name hers and now it is your turn. There is nothing wrong with the name [name]Paisley[/name] [name]Catherine[/name] and after she is born the comments will stop. [name]Do[/name] you have a second choice that you love equally as much? or is [name]Paisley[/name] really what you have your heart set on?

I feel your pain! Its hard when your pregnant and emotional and you feel that your family is no supporting your name choice. [name]Just[/name] keep in mind that your sister and mom probably have different taste than you so dont take it so personally. [name]Early[/name] in my second pregnancy i shared my long list w my family and I didnt like their reactions so i kept the name secret until after the birth. By that tie everyone was so happy to see him they didnt care at al what his name was. Good luck!

[name]Hi[/name] [name]Nina[/name] I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little happier.

Best wishes and hugs.

[name]Hi[/name] - here is my 2 cents. If you are going to name your child something somewhat unique or uncommon, such as [name]Paisley[/name], you need to have a thick skin and get used to negative reactions. I think you should keep testing out this name by telling it to a lot of people, to see if you are comfortable with their reactions. Because believe me, they will have the same reactions (some good, some bad) when you tell it to people once she is born.

It is one thing to have come up with a cool, less common name in your head. It’s another thing to say it out loud several times a day as her actual name. Which is not to say you shouldn’t use it; you just need to have a level of confidence about it so that you are not always second-guessing yourself about the choice when somebody reacts less than favorably (which they do to all names, to a certain extent, but MUCH more so to uncommon ones).

So much good, well balanced advice here. Since you are clearly close to your family and want their approval, do you think that you could sit down with your mom and sister and explain to them just what it is about the name [name]Paisley[/name] that you love so much? People can come around, it might be worth it to try. If they don’t after that, well, too bad for them.
Another idea I had about the previous posters comments about your comfortability level with saying the name all day every day, was a suggestion I saw on another naming site. It suggested using the name yourself as if it’s your name in areas of town or in situations where people don’t already know you. For instance, make a reservation at a restaurant and use the name [name]Paisley[/name] as your own. Try it on for size and see how it feels to ‘be’ a [name]Paisley[/name]- how people react and so on. I thought that was such a smart suggestion and I totally plan to do that when my time comes.

Well, let me tell you, this is a subject near and dear to my heart. Because of the opinion of family, our daughter still isn’t named. What one set of grandparents likes, the other hates.

The night before we were set to register our daughter (a [name]Sunday[/name] night), my father came over, had too much wine and absolutely trashed our name choice. Trashed it. Mocked it. Questioned it.

We’re still looking. It’s not easy and my best advice is not to tell anybody what you are thinking of naming your baby. It’s the decision of the baby’s parents. Other people have had their chance to name their babies. This is yours.

I actually have to tell my father that I am not discussing the name with him. He’s done his damage.

Wow, this thread is so informative! Thank you everyone for the advice.

I guess I am certainly not alone in having to be brave when selecting a slightly more unusual name. Any parent who chooses something out of the ordinary must have to get used to negative reactions - I think the only difference is that my Mother and [name]Sister[/name] are important to me, if it was my extended family or friends and strangers I wouldn’t give two hoots!

Also, I went to school with a [name]Paisley[/name] and so was very used to her name - to me it is not that unusual. And when I analyse it, [name]Paisley[/name] is a surname name, just as [name]Addison[/name], [name]MacKenzie[/name], [name]Ainsley[/name], [name]Keely[/name], [name]Kelly[/name] are, and they were all adopted as first names and accepted… eventually. I don’t see why [name]Paisley[/name] would be any different?!

The only other name I was considering was [name]Lacey[/name] [name]Juliet[/name]. My family like the name [name]Lacey[/name], but, we have a [name]Lacey[/name] already (a 3rd cousin who is 11 years old) and to me it is just not quite as pretty.

I could name her [name]Lacey[/name] but for me it would be a second choice, and I know if I ever met a little girl named [name]Paisley[/name] it would make me sad :frowning:

I hear babies being named names I dislike all the time. Some I get used to and change my opinion of the name, others I always think of as ludicrous! But all the different choices make for a more interesting society, and classroom. If everybody was [name]James[/name], [name]Emma[/name], [name]Matthew[/name] and [name]Sophie[/name] it would be very confusing… not to mention boring.

Thanks again for the advice. I still love [name]Paisley[/name] and will most likely go with my instinct and name her that :slight_smile:

I also think it’s important that you love your child’s name, but I wonder if you realize it’s not just a surname, it’s a pattern, a design. People may also be reacting negatively because they don’t like paisley ties! I also think it’s important to keep in mind what your hopes and dreams for your child are (and what her own might be). I think [name]Paisley[/name] is, in and of itself, a pretty-sounding name, but I’m not sure I’d vote for a [name]Paisley[/name], or have her in charge of my finances or my health. But then again, who knows? It’s worth thinking about, not just the sound of a name, but all of its connotations, too.

I feel your pain as well. Before we knew my daughter was a girl, we shared both of our picks with our families. [name]Both[/name] my mother and mother in law hated the name that we had chosen for a boy ([name]Micah[/name]). We still love it though and if we ever have a boy, it will still be his name. As others have said, if you love it and your husband loves it, then that is all that matters. Personally, I wouldn’t use [name]Paisley[/name] myself because it isn’t my taste, but I think it is a beautiful name and if it speaks to you, go for it. Your mother and sister will love your baby even if they aren’t crazy about her name at first. And I’m sure over time, they’ll come to a point where they can’t imagine her having any other name.

My sister forced me to tell her our choice also with our first. I told her we liked [name]Harlow[/name] and she told me it reminded her of the toothless man that ran the gas station down the street. We ended up naming her [name]Harlow[/name] anyways and everyone except her has gotten used to the name, and my husband and I cant imagine calling her anything else!

Ha ha! I LOLed over that one! Kudos to you for going ahead with the name despite what your sister said. You are helping me out, because I am overly senstive to the opinions of others. I can’t believe your sister said that! LOL.