Family initials

General Name Discussion
1

I hope that this doesn’t cause any offense but I’m sure I’m missing something. I often read posts/blogs etc and people are wanting to use family initials for baby. From what I gather this seems to be a cultural tradition. Can someone tell me about this. Which group follow this? [name]How[/name] is it done (who’s initials do you use?) [name]How[/name] common is it? Why is it done - religion/family honour/to pass down attributes?

This isn’t something that I have come across where I live - we usually use whole names or living or deceased family members in the middle (though this tradition is fading fast and far less common than it was 2 generations ago).

I love hearing about naming cultures and traditions and appreciate any info that you can share,

2

From what I’ve read on the posts here (and I could be wrong on this), it seems like many times people want to honor a relative in their baby’s name, but they don’t like the actual name itself. So instead of trying to work in a name they can’t stand, they try to find a name that matches the initials of the honored relative. It’s a way of still keeping special meaning without having to name their baby something that either doesn’t work or they don’t like. As far as I can tell, it’s not necessarily a strictly cultural decision, although there may be certain cultures and traditions where such a thing is more common than in others.

3

It’s traditional in my family. We’re Ashkenazi Jewish.

The way it works (in my family, I’m not saying the way other families do it is wrong) is that the religious Hebrew name stays the same, but the English name changes and is often/usually initial-matched.

It makes more sense with examples. Okay, my grandfather was a [name]Harvey[/name] in English; from [name]Hanan[/name] in Hebrew. HIS granddad was also a [name]Hanan[/name]. His granddad, however, was NOT named [name]Harvey[/name], that was a “You’re in [name]America[/name], you need an English name!” thing. Okay so far?

So if I name after my granddad, which I very much want to do, the normal thing in my family would be to make his religious (like baptismal, I guess?) name [name]Hanan[/name] for use in services, at his [name]Bar[/name] Mitzvah, etc. Then his English, legal name any dang H name I feel like. It would be considered unnecessary to match the [name]Harvey[/name] as the English name doesn’t really matter all that much from a religious standpoint, it’s just a nice connection. My granddad [name]Harvey[/name] would himself be confused if he knew I was picking a wildly out of style English name.

Does that make sense?

In my sub-culture (Sephardic Jews do it differently…) we name after dead ancestors. But never live ones! So I would not - and hopefully never have to consider - naming after my parents, as they are alive and hopefully will be for a long time. But my grandparents are dead and I really want to name after them. We’d use either their first or middle initial.

Like my grandmother - sorry for making this about my family but its easier with examples - was, in English, [name]Irene[/name]. Her Hebrew name is Chaia, which is very difficult to use as an English name because it sounds like “Hiya!”

I am thinking of naming after her, [name]Ivy[/name]. My cousin already named after her, [name]Ilana[/name]. [name]Both[/name] great-granddaughters would be considered to be named after [name]Irene[/name].

Does that make sense?

4

Yes it does!

Thanks very much for that excellent reply. That definately explains some of the posts that I have read.

I find the idea of only naming after dead ancestors interesting. Many indigenous groups in Australia (though not all - it gets complicated) won’t use the name of a dead person for a prescribed period of time after their death. This means that they are more likely to name their child after a living relative than one who has passed- the exact opposite of what you describe. I guess that is why I was getting confused.

Using initials is a lovely tradition and gives you so much more scope, unfortunately I don’t think it would be appreciated here. If I honoured my mum [name]Pamela[/name] with a [name]Penelope[/name] it would just cause confusion and imply that I didn’t like her name (I don’t). Passing down religious names is a wonderful tradition and I am wishing I had heard of it before I had my kids. We had to use family members formal legal names for our kids middles.

Can I ask is there any precedent to who’s name is used? (ie is it first son is from fathers’ father etc)

Thanks again,

5

The tradition amongst Ashkenazi Jews is that you “keep the name alive” after the ancestor is gone, but that naming after a live person is bad luck because (this is tradition) the Angel of Death might get confused and for example take the young grandson and not the aged grandfather who’s time had come. There are no Juniors or anything.

I’ve not heard of specific orders of which side, probably because you don’t know who has died on each side vs. how many relatives living. Father’s father might still be alive, mother’s brother might have died in war, etc. Usually what you do is try to honour the dead person one of the parents were closest to first, working out from there. For example, as much as I loved them, my great-great-aunts would get named for by me if I had a 2nd or 3rd daughter, AFTER my grandmothers.

People used to have bigger families, too, remember. Nowadays some Jewish people have two or three namesakes, first and middle(s) initial(s) maybe referencing 2/3 different people, often one of each parents’ side or something like that.

No one in my family particularly takes changing the English name as a slap at what it was. They just ask things like “What name are you going to pick for [deceased grandma] Ruth?” and expect/prefer an R name.

I don’t know if I’m explaining it well but hopefully that makes a little sense. I have a list of initials I want to use but I tend to change what names. My husband isn’t Jewish and finds even the initial-naming a bit constraining (“H names?!”) and I think trying to wedge in the exact names would drive him 'round the twist.

6

Thankyou - you have explained this wonderfully. This is so interesting and such a beautiful tradition. I really hope that it continues to be used. As for the complexities they just make it more wonderful.

edit- as for husbands I think that they enjoy being difficult about names. I’m pretty sure that if you said to my hubby ‘you can choose any name you like as long as it is beautiful’ he would say ‘beautiful?, I don’t like beautiful names, nope I definately veto beautiful’ :slight_smile:

7

You’re sweet. And I think you’re right about husbands!

I’m off to start a new thread mining ideas for my own needed initials. :slight_smile: