So I have a bit of a dilemma… Or maybe I just need a few opinions. My husband and I are starting to discuss names as we are beginning to try to conceive. Unfortunately both of my husbands parents are no longer living and he is an only child. He was very close with his parents and to honor his mother we have discussed using her name, Timotha as a middle name for our daughter. I want nothing more than to give him that and to honor my late mother-in-law but I truly go back and forth on the name. My mother is also NOT a fan of the name at all, even as a middle name. Any suggestions or variations? Our favorite girls name right now is [name]Palmer[/name]… And in think [name]Palmer[/name] Timotha sounds ok…but I truly go back and forth. The last thing I want to do is disappoint my husband though…
What do you think of [name]Timothy[/name] as a boy’s name? You could use that as a mn for a son and honor your mil that way since her name sounds like a feminization. Or, could you use another ‘[name]Tim[/name]’ name to honour her; like [name]Timea[/name] or [name]Timber[/name]?
[name]Palmer[/name] Timotha sounds very male to me, would that bother you?
Secondly, your mother’s opinion on Timotha should no be a factor at all. She’s not naming the baby, and it’s the name of your husband’s late mother. Her opinion should not be a factor at all, especially when it’s being considered for a middle name. I wonder how she would feel if the situation was reversed.
If you’re not sure on the name Timotha, then think on why that is. Is it honoring someone that you don’t like? Is it the name itself? Would your husband be willing to use his mother’s middle name? Or a variant? Or a name with the same meaning? Or the initials?
Her favourite colour? Her favourite name? etc. There’s so many options to honor someone with out using their first name.
[name]Imo[/name], that’s not even honoring them, that’s just honoring the naming style their parents picked.
My husband wanted to honor his late father, who’s name was [name]Maurice[/name]. I really disliked the name [name]Maurice[/name], but imo, honoring family with a middle name is more important than picking a middle name that we like. We ended up getting to use two middle names because it is a family tradition, so we got to do both, pick a middle that we loved and use [name]Maurice[/name]. If we hadn’t used to middle names, we still would have used [name]Maurice[/name].
I personally like Timotha, probably because I like the name [name]Timothy[/name]. Maybe you can use [name]Timothea[/name], another feminine variant?
I really don’t like [name]Timothy[/name] for a boy. His mother went by “[name]Timmy[/name]” which I actually think is cuter for a girl than a boy…but I just don’t see that for my own child, boy or girl. Thank you for the suggestions. It’s odd because there isn’t a “[name]Timothy[/name]” in the family that she was named after and both of her siblings have very common names. I’d love to know how her parents came up with the name.
I really like what East93 said! Yes, it’s up to you and your husband, not your mom. Honestly, I think talking it over with your mom will just open the possibility for resentment. If your husband finds out you don’t like the name and that your mom agrees with you, he could feel outnumbered and hurt. It seems better to talk it through honestly with him, even if your honest answer is that you don’t like the name. I loved East93s suggestions for other ways to honor his mom if the name really doesn’t appeal to you. I think it’s very sweet that you want to honor your m-i-l and that you really care about your husband’s feelings! Good luck!
I agree with uselesskitty. If you want to honor someone, you use the name, even if you don’t love it. Because it’s about the meaning behind it, the person behind it, not the sound of the name. So I’m not a fan of changing it to something like [name]Timothea[/name], [name]Timea[/name] or [name]Timothy[/name]. Her name was Timotha and if it really important for you two to honor her in that way, I think you should go with the original name. I think using her favorite color or whatever kind of says “well we wanted to name her after that person…but her name wasn’t great, so we chose one we like that we try to link to her now”, to me it says “it wasn’t really important enough to us”.
Did your [name]MIL[/name] like the name Timotha herself? I would hazard a guess that if she went by [name]Timmy[/name] there was probably a reason, perhaps she didn’t like Timotha. I don’t think it would be considered honouring if she didn’t like the name or go by it.
Your husband is an only child… so is there a girl name that your [name]MIL[/name] really liked that she would have used on a daughter but never got a chance to? That could be honouring too. Or you could use her middle or maiden name.