I wanted an honest opinion on a name. My husband and I are pregnant with a girl and we are butting heads over choosing a name. My first choice for a girl name is [name]Montgomery[/name]. My father’s name (who passed away when I was 15) was named [name]Montgomery[/name] and I’ve always wanted to name a daughter that. I would pair it with something really feminine for the middle name. My husband has vetoed it :(. What do yall think? I was really close with my dad and I had always envisioned this when he passed away. I would consider using it as a middle name but about 10 of my cousins beat me to it and gave their children the middle names of [name]Montgomery[/name]. Should I fight for it as a first name or let it go to be a middle name? Any feedback would be great. Thanks!
Hmmmm…interesting dilemma. I see both sides of this. I totally get that you want to name your baby after your dad, but I also don’t think your husband should have to use a name for his daughter that he doesn’t care for. Would he consider it for a first name if you have a boy down the road? Using it as a middle is an excellent compromise, or as a first name for a boy. But I can see why he would be concerned about giving it to a girl as her first name, even with the family significance.
What about something similar like [name]Monique[/name], [name]Monica[/name], Montarosa, [name]Morgan[/name], [name]Moriah[/name], Monteray, [name]Moira[/name].
Or something with the same meaning : power ; like [name]Emery[/name]
Your husband is allowed to have an opinion, although the fact that this is so meaningful to you is a big deal. Does he object because he just doesn’t like the sound? Because he’d prefer something more feminine? You can try to work out a compromise based on his specific reason for disliking it - such as putting it in the middle, choosing a very feminine nickname, or adapting it into a more feminine form.
Is there another way you can think of to honor your father for a first name? Did he have any special heroes or places/things he loved that could inspire a name? What about using [name]Abigail[/name] for a first name, which means “my father is joy”? Have a long thoughtful talk with DH and see what you can come up with.
Thanks for the tips ladies! Sometimes I think my husband just vetoes names to veto them! He vetoes a lot of my names. So I really don’t know if he is saying no because he doesn’t like them or because he is being stubborn. He is stuck on [name]Sophia[/name]. I love [name]Sophia[/name], but I don’t want 10 [name]Sophia[/name]'s in my daughter’s kindergarten class…you know? I think I will stick to [name]Montgomery[/name] as a middle name for a daughter. I can always use it to for a son’s first name (which husband is not opposed to). I like the idea of thinking of a special place or thing that reminds me of my dad to inspire a name. I really appreciate the feedback! Its difficult to get honest answers from friends and family!
I have a friend and her middle name is [name]Montgomery[/name]. I think it works great in the middle for a girl and I’ve always kind of liked this name for a boy with the nickname [name]Monte[/name]. Good luck!
I think as important as it is for you to use your father’s name, it’s also important for your husband to love his daughter’s name. Using it in the middle and finding a first name you [name]BOTH[/name] can love seems like the best option.
I am wondering what your dad’s middle name was, so that maybe if it was something like, for example, [name]Joseph[/name], you could play around with the idea of [name]Josephine[/name]. Otherwise, yes, stick it in the middle and find a first name you both like. In my opinion, he can’t veto it for a middle name because it means so much to you.
I would use it in the middle or save it for a boy. [name]Montgomery[/name] is way too masculine for a girl, even if it has meaning. I get wanting to honor your father, but you also have to think of your daughters future, too.
It would make a very distinguished middle name but a not-so-brilliant first name. (Could you imagine being a girl nicknamed [name]Monty[/name]? The humanity!)
I’m with you I think [name]Montgomery[/name] could be a cute name for a girl. nn’s Moni (Moh-nee), Mery or even Airy come to mind. But since that doesn’t seem to be an option. I think there could be great ways to honor your father without using his name for a girl. Like pp suggested special places for the two of you, his favorite color, his hobbies, his high school mascot, a name that is a variant of his nn (ex [name]Monty[/name] -> [name]Montana[/name]), really anything would work.
I wouldn’t use it as a mn if there is a chance to use it as a fn at any point. Unless you give it as a mn to all your children. My SO and his sister have the same family ln as their mn’s.
I agree with many of the previous posters who said that it would be best used as a mn or a boy down to road. I think [name]Montgomery[/name] is so masculine I can’t imagine it on a girl (besides, i am really against unisex name…just not my style). I think it would be very handsome on a boy, especially if your husband truly does not like it. Good luck!
I think it would be fine as a first name for a girl but maybe not if your husband doesn’t like it. I personally don’t like [name]Montgomery[/name] at all, whether it’s a first name or a middle name. Sorry. I know it’s a family name but I don’t think I’d give my child a name that so many of my other family members already have. [name]Even[/name] if it’s honoring someone. I’d find some other way to honor them.
I really like [name]Montgomery[/name] for a girl! Would your hubby consider it if you were to hyphenate a feminine name with it?
[name]Montgomery[/name]-[name]Jane[/name]
[name]Montgomery[/name]-[name]Kate[/name]
or
how about naming her [name]Montgomery[/name] but calling her something like M.J or M.K
I really think there is a way to compromise on this and I feel strongly that this is special enough to you that you should use it in some way.
Good luck!