The baby attempts have begun, and with them, baby name conversations. At which point we’ve realised: I hate his names. He hates my names.
His favourite boy names are: [name_m]Harrison[/name_m] (for [name_m]George[/name_m],) Schroeder, [name_m]Linus[/name_m], [name_m]Simon[/name_m], and [name_m]Felix[/name_m].
I feel like these names are too nerdy and geeky for my kid.
My favourite boy names are: [name_m]Shepherd[/name_m], [name_u]Gus[/name_u], [name_m]Jonah[/name_m], [name_m]Otto[/name_m], [name_m]David[/name_m], and [name_m]Oscar[/name_m] (yes, he likes [name_m]Felix[/name_m] and I like [name_m]Oscar[/name_m]…)
The closest we come is that I like the name [name_m]Simon[/name_m] except that it has an extremely bad association for me and therefore is non-negotiable and off the table. He liked [name_m]Shepherd[/name_m] for like a week before he suddenly didn’t anymore. He says my names “just don’t feel right” and he “doesn’t know why” he doesn’t like them, which isn’t helpful in any way. Sometimes he manages to say “they’re just… dumb.”
Can you guys help us figure out some names that might suit both his style and my style?
So far I really like [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], [name_m]Wilder[/name_m], [name_u]Everett[/name_u], and [name_m]Bruno[/name_m] which are all names I haven’t brought up to him so I’ll look into those!
I also love [name_m]Hugh[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Ezra[/name_m], [name_m]Peter[/name_m], [name_u]August[/name_u], [name_m]Soren[/name_m] and [name_m]Chance[/name_m] which are all names I know he hates
I don’t know what to advise, because it doesn’t seem to me like you are THAT far apart style wise… I could see the names on both your lists as siblings. It sounds like you may need a name that has a positive association that you both appreciate. Maybe favorite places, or artists you both admire, shared interests, etc.?
I love the suggestion of [name_m]Wilder[/name_m]. It seems like it could go on either of your lists. I also though of [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] when you said you liked [name_m]Simon[/name_m] and it seems similar to [name_m]Shepard[/name_m]. He could go by [name_m]Bas[/name_m] of [name_m]Seb[/name_m]. Each of your list however do not seem to far off and like erin beth and can see several of them being siblings.
I have a similar problem with my bf even though we aren’t currently pregnant and could possibly never have children together (I hope not but you never know)
He seriously likes names like
Flavious … I know its Terrible
I flat out told him I am not naming my child Flavious.
So I am following this thread hoping there is some actual advice other than just name suggestions.
I do agree that you both aren’t that far off style wise and you probably just need to find something that you both like.
Girl SCHROEDER. We might as well name a kid scrotum.
It keeps coming down to that he’s a kind of nerdy, gawky, awkward guy and he seems to be convinced his child will be like that so he doesn’t want them to have a name that would be “embarrassing” because it doesn’t suit them. He keeps being like “[name_f]Imagine[/name_f] the dorkiest kid in the world comes up to you and pushes up his glasses and is like ‘hi… I’m [name_m]Otto[/name_m]…’ He can’t get away with being [name_m]Otto[/name_m].” But I’ve never been nerdy, gawky, or awkward and I can’t imagine my kid being that way and I don’t want to box them into a nerdy, awkward name like [name_m]Linus[/name_m] or [name_m]Felix[/name_m]. I want my kid to have a more versatile name.
Like, I feel like some names come with obvious associations and to me his names are all kind of nerdy names where I want my kid to have a name that would suit near anything he wants to be.
My suggestion would be to try take names from each of your lists that are similar either in sound, feel or origin, and find names based on those that you both might like.
So for example; [name_m]Simon[/name_m], [name_m]Jonah[/name_m] and [name_m]David[/name_m] (and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Ezra[/name_m] and [name_m]Peter[/name_m] from names you’ve like from other’s suggestions) are all well known names from the bible…so perhaps look at other names from the bible, such as…
[name_m]Aaron[/name_m]
[name_m]Abel[/name_m]
[name_m]Adam[/name_m]
[name_m]Asher[/name_m]
[name_m]Andrew[/name_m]
[name_m]Benjamin[/name_m]
[name_m]Caleb[/name_m]
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m]
[name_m]Ethan[/name_m]
[name_m]Gabriel[/name_m]
[name_m]Isaac[/name_m]
[name_m]Isaiah[/name_m]
[name_m]Jacob[/name_m]
[name_m]Joseph[/name_m]
[name_m]Joshua[/name_m]
[name_m]Jonathan[/name_m]
[name_m]Levi[/name_m]
[name_m]Matthew[/name_m]
[name_u]Michael[/name_u]
[name_m]Nathan[/name_m]/[name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m]
[name_u]Noah[/name_u]
[name_m]Reuben[/name_m]
[name_m]Samuel[/name_m]
[name_u]Seth[/name_u]
[name_m]Zachary[/name_m]
[name_m]Felix[/name_m] and [name_m]Oscar[/name_m] feel quite similar, so going off of them, I’d suggest…
[name_u]Dexter[/name_u]
[name_m]Oliver[/name_m]
[name_m]Fergus[/name_m]
[name_m]Isaac[/name_m]
[name_m]Jackson[/name_m]
[name_u]Owen[/name_u]
[name_m]Julian[/name_m]
[name_m]Angus[/name_m]
[name_m]Ethan[/name_m]
[name_m]Connor[/name_m]
[name_m]Callum[/name_m]
[name_u]Max[/name_u]
[name_m]Levi[/name_m]
[name_m]Elijah[/name_m]
[name_m]Lucas[/name_m]
[name_m]Declan[/name_m]
[name_m]Liam[/name_m]
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u]
I feel like you both favor “old man” names ([name_u]Gus[/name_u], [name_m]Otto[/name_m], [name_m]Linus[/name_m], [name_m]Oscar[/name_m] & [name_m]Felix[/name_m]) but just like different ones!
Maybe…
[name_m]Otis[/name_m] (similar to [name_m]Otto[/name_m] & [name_m]Linus[/name_m])
[name_u]Francis[/name_u]
[name_u]August[/name_u] or [name_m]Augustine[/name_m] (could use [name_u]Gus[/name_u] as a nickname)
[name_m]Orson[/name_m]
[name_m]Harvey[/name_m]
[name_m]Lucian[/name_m]
[name_m]Malcolm[/name_m]
[name_m]Simeon[/name_m]
[name_m]Isaac[/name_m]
[name_u]Leland[/name_u]
[name_m]Leander[/name_m]
One, congrats of getting even that many names out of your partner. You are ahead of the game. You also have at least two names so far that you both “like”, even if they’re not the “one” yet: [name_m]Felix[/name_m] and [name_m]Oscar[/name_m]. Both are names from an older generation, but are both coming back fresh now. [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] would fit that bracket, as well as [name_m]Harvey[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m], as others suggested.
It sounds like your partner like names with geeky associations, so maybe he’d like [name_m]Eddison[/name_m]. I met a baby named [name_m]Eddison[/name_m] recently, nickname [name_m]Eddy[/name_m], and he was ridiculously cute. I don’t think the name will stay geeky.
A few others that came to mind that others haven’t mentioned: [name_m]Cyrus[/name_m], [name_m]Edgar[/name_m], and [name_m]Silas[/name_m]
Nerdy vs. not nerdy doesn’t seem to be the issue here. I think any of the names on either list could suit a nerdy, gawky, and awkward person just as well as they could suit an outgoing person. (Except for Schroeder. I don’t know what kind of person that name could belong to.)
Many of these names - like [name_m]Felix[/name_m], [name_m]Simon[/name_m], [name_m]Oscar[/name_m], [name_u]Gus[/name_u] - are very similar in style to each together. They are dusty old man names that have become popular again. They are a little bit nerdy, but in a cool way. I think that’s the compromise you guys want, and you’re already there. There are loads of names like these out there (including many of the suggestions that have come up), so just keep looking and collecting and I’m sure you’ll find some that you can agree on!
I had this problem with my husband, though we didn’t start discussing much before we got pregnant. Finally we got to about 6 months and i couldn’t stand that we had no even possibility that we both liked. We both compromised a little but are so far happy with the name (couple weeks to go), though we’ll wait to completely commit before we meet baby boy, we have a name about 95% sure we’ll use.
It’s not always a matter of style, just particular names. So keep suggesting things, finding new names, and for me some names he didn’t like at the beginning he would ‘suggest’ around month 5, as if he discovered them (so frustrating). Things he doesn’t like now, before there is deadline, he may like again when there is a baby. So I would sit on those names he liked for a week, and bring up again when there is a baby in play. Especially since the reasons are “they just don’t feel right” things will certainly feel differently once you are pregnant.
In the end what we did was take our top 10, which was basically made of names neither of us had strongly vetoed even if we didn’t love them, and make our own lists from 1-10 of which one we prefer. The first one that showed up on both our lists was what we would use. It was actually #3 for both of us so, not too bad but a bit of a compromise. Good luck, it’s hard to agree!
[name_m]Linus[/name_m], [name_m]Simon[/name_m], [name_m]Felix[/name_m], [name_u]Gus[/name_u], [name_m]Otto[/name_m], and [name_m]Oscar[/name_m] totally seem like the same style to me.
I also love [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], [name_m]Wilder[/name_m], [name_u]Everett[/name_u], and [name_m]Bruno[/name_m]
What about: [name_m]Calvin[/name_m], [name_m]Gilbert[/name_m], [name_u]Dexter[/name_u], [name_m]Linus[/name_m], [name_m]Milo[/name_m], [name_m]Rufus[/name_m]
Maybe a longer form of [name_u]Gus[/name_u] would be a good compromise if you like [name_u]August[/name_u] he might go for it with [name_u]Gus[/name_u] as a nn.
Edit: I just read your comment about him assuming your child will be a geek like him and you’re thinking that since you weren’t your son might not be either. Personality definitely comes into play when DH and I name our kids. Our first 3 all had distinct personalities in utero that helped in naming them, it’s still too soon to tell with our 4th so we have a variety of names on our list at this point. I think it is important to consider names for all personality types but there is a lot more than a name that defines who your child is. We always have the parent that is the same gender as the child look the names over thinking would I have wanted to had this name as a child. It’s helpful. You will never know what is like to grow up as a nerdy boy but your partner does, so use that knowledge to your advantage. You both seem to agree on the clunky but cool boy names, it just a matter of finding the right one for both of you and your child. FWIW I think a nerdy push up his glasses kid could totally pull off Oscar or Otto, I mean it’s 2017 we are in the technology age where geeks rule!
@tbm2b I totally understand the Nerdy Geek thing I feel like my Bf thinks he is naming a dungeons and dragons character. I do agree with others, names like [name_m]Linus[/name_m] were seen as nerdy at one time, but now is Hipster-y and Cool.
The name does not define the person the person defines the name. Except Flavious no one can make Flavious Cool.
Well after your guys’ helpful suggestions we finally have a round of names we both like which I thought would never happen!
[name_u]Seth[/name_u], [name_m]Malcolm[/name_m], [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], and [name_m]Finnegan[/name_m] seem to make us both pretty happy and are all names I don’t know if we ever would have thought of THANK YOU GUYS.
