Feeling overwhelmed...

I’ve been obsessed with names since I was 10 years old. Got my first name book at 11 and I’ve collected tons of them since. But now at 32 with twin boys on the way I just feel overwhelmed. I thought I would have so many names that I really love to pick from but I’m stumped. Naming real babies is so much harder than naming pets or characters or dreaming of future kids. Anyone else experience this when it came time to actually name your kids? :frowning:

I am exactly the same! Newly pregnant with my first.
Choosing names is completely different when there is an actual baby attached.
Talking with your partner will probably help, let them make the initial calls and you can veto or agree.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have some favourites that still have potential?
I think what I’m doing is that I want a long list for some reason, I need to focus it down to my top 3.
If we haven’t thought of it already maybe there isn’t any new names for us :stuck_out_tongue:

I know exactly what you mean! It’s so difficult to choose and to know what might actually work for a real child. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t be afraid to choose something you really love. My best advice? Try to say the name out loud as much as possible and see how it feels. :slight_smile: good luck! Whatever you choose, the baby will grow into the name, if you know what I mean. AND remember that even if people are luke-warm on an idea you have, once the baby is born they will jump on the bandwagon :slight_smile:

I agree that choosing baby names when pregnant is totally different. While I love hundreds and hundreds of names, the ones I would actually name a child are far fewer.

I can think of two things that might have helped me. One, making a list of all my favorites, but then slowly culling the ones that are lovely but not for my real child. Two, asking if I would want to be named that. I love [name_f]Arethusa[/name_f] and [name_u]Tangiers[/name_u], but for a first name, I’d not be feeling gratitude for my parents. :slight_smile:

Yes! It’s one thing to dream up one of a kind names… or name a cat… but quite another to bestow a real name on a little human that is going to have to own it on playgrounds and job interviews!

I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first and felt the exact same way! I had a huge list of names that all seemed like options and always dreamed that being pregnant and picking out a name would be so easy and wonderful. Then when I found out I’d actually have to name a real person I started panicking and none of the names seemed good enough!

I would start by just picking through your own list and eliminating the ones you can’t picture as a first name for your babies, and sort them into first and middle name possibilities. Before I started talking names with my partner the idea of naming a baby seemed overwhelming (and still is a tiny bit) but after he eliminated the ones he didn’t like and added in his own suggestions, it really helped to start forming a clearer picture of who our little guy might be!

This is so me! [name_f]Every[/name_f] time I have been pregnant I have stressed over finding that one name that felt just so. Luckily I have a decisive husband! It got so bad with our third that we didn’t have a name until he was first put on my chest; [name_m]Thorn[/name_m]. My horrified husband spent the next 2 hours compiling names to change my mind. I still secretly love tho [name_m]Thorn[/name_m], maybe one day…

Much [name_u]Love[/name_u], [name_u]Sky[/name_u].

For me two things helped

  1. giving myself some “rules” to follow to narrow it down
  2. my husband’s opinions helped narrow things down too

“Rules” can be anything- having a special meaning to you, acceptable popularity range, honor names, sounding good with the last name, etc…

I felt completely overwhelmed when naming my daughter, no name felt like THE name. I looked through all my lists and had an idea of what I wanted for her. I would change her name multiple times a week and it drove my SO crazy. Oddly enough the name we chose for our daughter is nothing like what I thought I wanted. It’s not a classic or trendy and isn’t really unique or unisex. I had browsed over her name multiple times and never added her name to the official list. The last time I saw it on nameberry it felt right, I told my SO and he immediately agreed to the name and I stopped looking for a first name. That’s when I knew it was her name, when I stopped looking. Her middle was so easy it flowed together perfectly with her first name and had so much meaning to us. I think eventually you fall into a name, the more you think the harder it is to find a name. Sometimes stopping and relaxing then coming back to your names a couple weeks or months later will cause a name or two to stick out and the others to fade away… the more you look the more all the names start to look the same.

Yes! When I first got pregnant with my son, I was so excited to start talking about names. But the long list of names I liked didn’t seem all that great. I kept looking and looking for better choices, but only a handful of names seemed actually usable. My husband wasn’t much help. Aside from vetoing a few, he didn’t express much opinion on any of the names. We planned to wait until we met him before settling on THE name. Much to my surprise, my husband chose his name from our short list very quickly after he was born. It is perfect.

My best advice is to sort the choices into firsts and middles and pick when they are in your arms. They come with so much of themselves already present when they arrive that it can send you in an unexpected direction for their name.

Oh, I totally get you. Currently 9 weeks with our first… I’ve been interested in names since I was about 10!

I always thought I’d end up with interesting names that had either cool meanings or strong family meanings… Like [name_f]Athena[/name_f] or Mersea (pronounced Mer-zee, after the Island), or [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] or [name_u]Owen[/name_u] or [name_m]Monty[/name_m].

But there’s the reality of it being a real child, AND of what would possibly sound good with my partner’s surname AND having to compromise with him on style. Any more out-there suggestions ([name_f]Athena[/name_f], Mersea, [name_f]Maren[/name_f], [name_f]Ida[/name_f], [name_f]Elaina[/name_f]) promptly get vetoed, anything that could be thought of as either old-man or or-ladyish, or pompous ([name_m]Monty[/name_m]/[name_m]Montague[/name_m], [name_m]Theodore[/name_m], [name_f]Sylvia[/name_f], [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Elsie[/name_f]) gets vetoed or hrrmphed… and the only new suggestions thrown in are [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], [name_f]Alice[/name_f], and the unexpected ‘[name_f]Autumn[/name_f]’.

I’m left worrying that our lists are dull, or not quite right, or don’t have important enough meanings to me.

It’s definitely different to dream about it vs naming an actual child. You dream name might have been [name_m]Henry[/name_m], and it might have flowed well with your last name when you were a kid, but if you’re using your spouse’s surname, and it’s McHenry, then you’d have [name_m]Henry[/name_m] McHenry, and that just doesn’t work.

Are there any names that you find interesting now, that are usable and flow with the baby’s surname? What’s your style, and your spouse’s style? If you’re not sure, maybe float a couple of names from each style and see what attracts you? Some ideas with different styles below.

[name_m]Arthur[/name_m] and [name_m]Henry[/name_m]
[name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and [name_m]Jeffrey[/name_m]
[name_m]Brendan[/name_m] and [name_m]Liam[/name_m]
[name_m]Forest[/name_m] and [name_u]Rain[/name_u]
[name_u]Sterling[/name_u] and [name_u]Sloan[/name_u]
[name_m]Connor[/name_m] and [name_m]Cooper[/name_m]
[name_m]Matthew[/name_m] and [name_m]Marcus[/name_m]
[name_m]Peter[/name_m] and [name_m]Paul[/name_m]
[name_u]Luca[/name_u] and [name_m]Gianni[/name_m]
[name_m]Theodore[/name_m] and [name_m]Frederick[/name_m]
Gandalf and [name_m]Frodo[/name_m]
[name_m]Wolf[/name_m] and [name_m]Bear[/name_m]

Good luck!

[name_f]Susan[/name_f]