Feminism in Baby Naming

General Name Discussion
21

Much in line with what several other posters have mentioned, a feminist approach (the type of feminism I support anyway) is simply applying similar considerations to a daughter’s name that one would to a son’s. I say similar and not the same because the realities of society are such that I think there has to be an even greater awareness when selecting a girl’s name of how that name will likely lead others to perceive her.

I prefer girls’ names that are distinctly girls’ names. [name_m]Just[/name_m] like I’ve never thought that a woman has to dress or act like a man to command the same respect as a man, I do not think girls need to be given boys’ names or even unisex names to be taken seriously. There is an important distinction between feminine names and frou-frou names. I try to avoid names that are overly frilly or will sound silly on a grown woman. I love the idea of names that are shared by strong women - either family names or names of important female historical figures. There’s undoubtedly a reason the combo [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is as popular as it is!

When my kids (male and female) introduce themselves in professional settings, I want them to be able to do so with names that connote gravitas and credibility while leaving a little room for personality as well! We have largely the same expectations for son(s) and daughter(s), and I rather think our naming style reflects those aspirations. Sounds pretty feminist to me.

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22

Feminist baby naming to me is having the same baby name ‘rules’ for boys and girls. That means that if your willing to name your daughter [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], you wouldn’t be afraid of naming your son [name_u]Jordan[/name_u] because he might be mistaken for a girl. If you want to name your son [name_m]David[/name_m] because it’s classic and strong, you would be naming your daughter something like [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], rather than [name_f]Cece[/name_f]. If you refuse to use a top 100 hundred name for a girl (even though you love [name_f]Zoe[/name_f] and [name_u]Clare[/name_u]) you wouldn’t call your son [name_m]Ethan[/name_m] Same goes for the use of family names/other name sakes, nicknames as given names vs putting full on birth certificate and calling by the nickname, creative spellings etc.
Basically approaching naming the same way regardless of gender. This means that any individual name, be it [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_f]Isabella[/name_f], Huntyr, [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], [name_u]Sam[/name_u], or [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f], can be feminist as depending on what they are paired with.

23

I think this is a good point.
It’s almost impossible to not reflect your world view in some sense with a name–whether you name your daughter [name_f]Sophia[/name_f], [name_f]Tamsin[/name_f], [name_f]Barbara[/name_f], Nightingale, [name_f]Aurora[/name_f], or [name_m]Samuel[/name_m].

[name_f]Every[/name_f] parent has dreams and wishes for their child’s life, and I don’t think there’s a problem with naming them something that reflects that–whether that’s [name_m]Calvin[/name_m], [name_u]Jordan[/name_u], or [name_f]Cruise[/name_f].

Of course there’s a line there, a line that’s in a different place for different people. Some people find virtue names ridiculous because they’re too hard to live up to. Others find the name of certain historical figures to be too linked to a certain ideology that your child might not embrace.

My only “rule” is just don’t use anything so blatant that it will cause your kid to be singled out negatively. As far as I’m concerned people should feel free to use [name_f]Verity[/name_f], but Perfect is over the line. [name_m]Christian[/name_m] is fine but [name_u]Messiah[/name_u] is pushing it.

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I think feminism is more important and obvious with the LAST name. I would strongly consider hyphenating/combining my last name with my partner’s if I had children. The only reason I wouldn’t would be practical- it does cause some confusion to not have the father’s (and only father’s) last name.

That said, I don’t think boy’s names on girls are terribly feminist. I think that owning femininity and become successful with that gender (not despite of that gender) is feminist. A girl named “[name_u]Hunter[/name_u]” may have more opportunities because of the ambiguity of her gender, but shouldn’t she be encouraged to succeed while being proud of who she is?

Anyway, that’s my two cents. Great topic!

25

Exactly! Well said. :slight_smile:

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Interesting topic! And it’s nice to see what feminist naming means to different people

  • I’ve never cared about juniors. If it were really important to my partner and I’d be breaking a long chain (as in, my son would be [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Henry[/name_m] VII) then I’d go along with it. Otherwise, my children will have their own names

  • I tend to prefer names with harsher sounds for girl names and softer for boys. I feel that these types of names will fit a child regardless of who they become (ex. ballerina vs tomboy or jock vs artsy boy). A name like [name_u]Arden[/name_u] will suit any girl while a name like [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] maybe embarrassing to a tomboy. [name_u]Reed[/name_u] [name_u]Adair[/name_u] can be anything but Rykker [name_m]Axel[/name_m] who plays the clarinet will constantly be reminded of how much he doesn’t fit his name (and likely the expectations of his parents)

  • I have a ton of unisex names that I love and would use regardless of gender. I love androgynous combos (ex. [name_u]Sage[/name_u] [name_u]Eden[/name_u] could be a son or daughter). There are some definitely feminine/masculine names that I just adore, like [name_f]Tallulah[/name_f] & [name_m]Drake[/name_m]. As much as I love androgyny, I’m not averse to gender distinction

  • As for surnames, my kids will have their father’s name. My father is not someone I’d ever want to honor. No way would my children ever have his name/my maiden name. I’d much rather my kids have the surname of a man I love and respect. I wouldn’t use my mom’s maiden name because it’s also a common fn which makes not-so-great combos with my faves. I will use her maiden name for a son’s fn or mn

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27

OKAY so I know this thread is super old, but I was really curious. I don’t know if I ever commented on this, but I might have. I don’t know! It could be in there somewhere.

I’m obviously a feminist, since I searched for something like this. There are lots of debates going on, whether its feminist to name your daughter a super girly name so she can own her gender and not be ashamed of it, OR give them boy’s names to help them climb career ladders. And I totally get where both parties are coming from; my favorite names are [name_m]Otis[/name_m] and [name_f]Leela[/name_f], and those are obviously boy and girl name! BUT, there’s a huge component no one is thinking about, and its a HUGE component to feminism: defying gender roles that are forced upon us.

Gender-Neutral Parenting is a fairly new approach in parenting, and some people misconstrue it to forcing a kid into being androgynous or “genderless”, but that’s simply not true. GNP is all about letting a child grow up learning who they are without culture intruding in on that.

A lot of people think that gender and sex is the same, therefore their child will fall into their gender roles naturally. This isn’t the case, as our cultures dictate gender roles from a very early age. Around 5 or 6 is when boys begin choosing trucks over things with faces because they’re starting to internalize their gender role bestowed upon them since birth. Research has debunked the myth that boys love machines over things with faces (why do you think they love superheroes so much??), but because of gender roles and gender boxing, they may be steered away from dolls or other “feminine” toys.

Now GNP is something I would definitely take into consideration as a feminist, because 3rd Wave Feminism is about freedom of expression and autonomy over one’s self, to explore who they are and their sexuality without being hindered by what the dominant culture dictates.

BUT there are very few unisex names that I like. I don’t know if it would be appropriate to bestow a male name on a child born a male, and then raise him with a GNP style, or to bestow a feminine name on a child born a male and then raise them GNP style, etc etc. But then again, its our culture that dictates whether names are feminine or masculine or unisex, so maybe it shouldn’t matter? Naming a girl [name_m]George[/name_m] and a boy [name_f]Esther[/name_f] could be feminist-friendly naming, too. Or naming your girl [name_f]Georgette[/name_f] so that when they’re older and decide that they aren’t their birth-sex they can become a [name_m]George[/name_m]. Maybe unisex names will just save them the trouble in the long run! We also must remember, as feminists, that gender is fluid, not just boxed in as either male or female. So who knows…

Maybe the best thing about being a feminist is doing what you want, but letting your child discover who they are without dictating it to them from the time they’re born. If I raise a little [name_m]Otis[/name_m] while using GNP style, who says my child will assume their name is masculine? Femininity and masculinity are things each individual considers. Some people think [name_m]Milo[/name_m] is a strong name, while others think its feminine.

Its all a very confusing, yet simple choice when you get down to it…

Name them what you want, but don’t constrain your child as they grow!

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29

I think that’s exactly what this discussion is about. People are talking about the various ways names are considered feminist. If the person named her daughter [name_u]James[/name_u] to be feminist, then that’s her opinion- that’s how she interprets feminism. It’s not up to us to judge how she expresses her beliefs. Perhaps she is simply trying to break gender barriers by giving her daughter a traditionally masculine name, and would do the same for her son by giving a traditionally feminine name. Regardless, this entire thread is about the different approaches to feminist naming, and the very first post said

so the whole point is to figure out how people define a feminism-friendly name. The original poster actually points out that one of her rules is that her daughters will get names that are unambiguously feminine. Everyone has their own opinion, but clearly you don’t think that masculine names on females are feminist, and that’s fine. I agree with you, and so do most of the previous posters, including the creator of this thread, but others may disagree. I know that this is almost hypocritical, that I’m being judgmental of your judgement, but I think that you sort of jumped at the bit to leave an antagonistic comment on this thread without fully reading what the original poster wrote. I’m not trying to attack you here, I just wanted to answer your question in a post that happens to be very long and rambling :joy:!

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30

Let me start off by saying I am not trying to hate on anyone and I agree with feminism! (which my idea of feminism is fair treatment and equal chances for both genders)

I personally believe that any name can be strong and girly at the same time. Also, a girl named [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_f]Birdie[/name_f], or [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f] could be a feminist just as much as a girl named [name_u]Perry[/name_u] or [name_u]George[/name_u]. Boys can be feminists too.

If you name your daughter a traditionally name I would assume it was just because you like the name, because to me naming a girl a boys name to be feminist is kind of against the point, cause that’s basically saying that your girl has to have a boys name to be strong? But it’s not bad at all, I love “gender bending” names! I believe a true feminist name would be a name of famous feminist figure, like a suffragette, or a strong woman you know.

I don’t have any rules! [name_f]My[/name_f] only rule for a feminist girl is teach her about strong women! To name them after a strong woman in my life would be very good too.

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32

I have been thinking about this for a few days and how I feel about my own naming preferences in regards to this question.

Firstly, even though I quite like unisex names, I don’t believe that a girl has to be given a “boy” name to find power and strength and meaning in that name. There are so many classical girl names that have wonderful role models associated with them that I don’t see any reason why they should be thrown aside to give a girl a “boy” name which has no meaning to the girl, except that it was a boy name and used with some expectation that it should empower her by bestowing it upon her. This almost feels counter to feminism like some others have said.

But where my feministic views come into play is more related to the idea that certain names for boys are off-limits because they have feminine associations and that they are somehow ‘weakened’ by these. Why can’t a son’s name for example not honor a female relative, or role model? I find I have more freedom with girl’s names in fact than with boy’s names.

My naming style is such that I like unisex names and more girl names (perhaps because I am a woman and have female role models in mind). [name_f]My[/name_f] viewpoint is one that asks whether I like this name first and foremost because it is a name that has meaning to me and I like the style and sound of it. Then I ask whether I can use it on a girl and boy, and more often find myself asking why not indeed. For once boy names that turned girl, I find the arguments that it can no longer be used for boys because it has “gone girl” tenuous at best. Similarly for word and nature names, virtue names, etc. If equality is what we see then why does gender even come into it? So it’s not that I see feminism as being some proactive force in my naming style, but rather one that is reactive to asking why can I not use such and such a name that I like just because some people in society feel that boys will be tarnished by certain names.

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Based on my own naming style, I’d agree with @dogs_books, @EJpuddlejumper, and @12queen and say that feminism isn’t so much in a name as it is in actions.

Personally, I choose mostly feminine names for girls and usually masculine names for boys. That doesn’t necessarily mean that, because I choose names that are stereotypical for each gender, I am not a feminist.

As long as you support equality, you are a feminist. In the long run, naming your daughter [name_u]James[/name_u] or your son [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] doesn’t really affect it. It can, if you believe it does. I, personally, do not.

Name your daughter [name_m]Allen[/name_m], or name her [name_f]Daisy[/name_f]. Name your son [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], or name him [name_m]Matthew[/name_m]. Neither one of these make you less of a feminist.

Your actions are what truly matter. For example, I find a problem with people who choose to use names that are important to other cultures, when it really isn’t a part of their own. If you do this, I might say that you truly wouldn’t be a feminist. Feminism, to me, is about recognizing differences, and realizing that nobody is worthless because they are different. However, differences are important, and they should be respected.

These are my thoughts. I do not expect you to agree. However, I do expect you to be respectful if you do not.

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I agree. To me and my beliefs surrounding feminism, I shouldn’t have to give my daughter a typically assumed male name to give her better opportunities. She should be able to get opportunities with even the most feminine name, due to her abilities and qualifications. Women deserve respect, regardless of if they like to dress feminine or not.

If someone wants to use a unisex name for their daughter then great. If they want to use a very feminine name, great. If it falls somewhere in the middle, great.

If I found out I was having a daughter, I’d think a lot about my parenting and how I was going to raise her to feel confident and strong and aspire to be anything she wanted. However I don’t think I’d think about how her name represents my beliefs around feminism. The same way that if I find out I’m having a boy, I’ll think about teaching him about consent and respecting woman and how no means no. But I won’t think about whether or not giving him a typically masculine name is will counter act any of my beliefs about feminism.

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