I hope this post does not strike a nerve with people as I know infertility and fertility issues are a touchy subject!
My husband and I have two kids; [name_m]Konrad[/name_m] is almost 4 and [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] is 1.5. For both of them, we got pregnant on the first “try.” We would like to have a third and have been trying for about 4-5 cycles (without fertility treatments). It seems we have all the timing right and considering my past, I thought this time would be just as quick. I know that it doesn’t always happen on the first try, but of course my mind jumps right to, “I wonder if I can even have any more kids?”
So, my question is this: Have any of you experienced difficulties getting pregnant after having one or two children already?
I feel guilty even asking this as I know there are a ton of women out there who are having trouble conceiving their first child and here I am with two healthy children already worrying about this. But any insight would be great!
For the record, if I for some reason cannot get pregnant again, we have decided against doing fertility meds since we feel we are blessed to have had two kids already. Thanks in advance, everyone!
I don’t have any experience with this specific issue. I just wanted to say that dealing with “infertility” is hard no matter what your situation. I don’t think it’s considered an infertility issue until you’ve failed to conceive after a year of trying. However, I can see how your situation would be difficult and make you worry about infertility. Sure it’s hard for those of us struggling to have our first to hear these things, but if you’ve dreamed of having three children and you’re unable to conceive #3, that would be hard as well.
I guess what I’m saying is don’t feel guilty for worrying about this or feeling sad. Infertility is terrible and unless you’ve got amazing insurance or tons of money to throw around, you’re very limited on options. It’s not a widely discussed topic and it can be a very lonely place. We’re all here for you if you need anything. I know I greatly appreciate your sensitivity to those of us who have been trying for years for #1 and I’m sure others will feel the same. Keep your head up and try hard to remain positive. Infertility can very easily consume your life and it only makes it worse. Best of luck to you!
Yes, I am in the same boat. I conceived my first on our first try; however now we have been trying for over a year to conceive a 2nd. I found out that my thyroid levels were actually wonky, which I am not sure has always been an issue or if it developed after having my first. I know it sucks, but you’re still within the realm of normal after 4 to 5 cycles. After it has been a year, I would definitely suggest seeing your OB.
I was never pregnant, I can’t speak for me personally. But, someone really close to me had her first, and couldn’t get pregnant with her second. Nothing was ‘wrong’ with her, or her partner, it can happen. She decided against fertility meds or treatments, as you said, and only has her first now.
I also have no kids, but my cousin and his wife struggled. They tried for 8+ years between their first and second, the third baby showed up more quickly though!
I had a few miscarriages before having Tibs and I am really shocked to find myself pregnant again with [name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] only being 6 months. I am still breastfeeding and my periods came back at around 4 and a half months postpartum and I am about 6/7 weeks so I must have gotten pregnant on my first cycle, we had been trying for 4/5 years before having [name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] and had had 3 miscarriages during those years so I do find it mildly shocking that I should pregnant so quickly.
I think all women are different and just because it might have been easy to get pregnant the first time or even the other way around, difficult to get pregnant the first time, doesn’t mean it will be the same the second, third or hell even the tenth time! If I was you I would try not to fret about it too much, which I know from experience is easier said than done, and don’t feel guilty about it. My mother always taught me that you shouldn’t measure your problems up against other people’s as everybody has their own issues and I completely agree: your worries are your worries and you shouldn’t feel that they are less relevant or important because you deem other people to be going through something more difficult.
I’m sending you lots of positive vibes! Best of luck!
2 of our 4 were conceived on the first try. Our first child took 2.5 years to conceive and we have an unplanned 3.5 year gap between our 2nd and 3rd child, this was partially because of a deployment but also fertility issues. We are very pleased with how the spacing of our children turned out, even though it wasn’t what we had planned.
All of this to say for me, fertility cannot be explained and is anything but consistent. We did do a few rounds of clomid but never got pregnant with any of them. I think there is a different kind of difficulty with secondary infertility in that you already have children and their spacing becomes a concern as well. Depending on your age 6 months might be considered “infertile” so it could still be something to talk to your doctor about even if you don’t want to get fertility treatments, like getting your hormone levels checked and general female health.
Thank you for your thoughtful responses! I know everyone is different and fertility can’t really be predicted, so I appreciate you all letting me air out my concerns, free of judgment. I love our community for that!
Hello! My very good friend was lucky on the first try with her first baby but took 8 cycles for her second baby. It is just so hard to predict. I suppose lots of regular intercourse throughout the month and keep hoping. See the doctor in a few months if it’s taking longer. Good luck!!