We waited to find out at birth with our first. It was fun to have the big surprise. We wanted to get gender neutral baby things to start out with so we could use them for all our children. It worked out well for us.
When I got pregnant with our second, I decided that we needed to find out because I thought it would help our daughter, who was 2 years old at the time, understand what was happening a little better if we knew the sex and could call the baby by name. I was also having a harder time connecting to the pregnancy in the beginning because I had just started a new job and my daughter was in childcare for the first time, and I just felt so stressed and guilty. Finding out we were having a baby boy and knowing his name helped me bond with him before he was born. (Edited to add that I didn’t have any problem bonding with my daughter while pregnant with her, even though I didn’t know yet whether she was a girl or a boy, it was just the circumstances surrounding my second pregnancy that were making it difficult.) It was definitely the right choice for us.
If we have another child someday, I don’t know whether we will find out again or wait.
We’re not finding out the sex. It wasn’t even really a discussion, we both knew right away that we didn’t want to find out ahead of time, and that was that. We also won’t be choosing a name until we meet the baby.
I’m a planner, so we found out the sex asap. That way I could shop and have everything set up before the baby arrived. It also helped our family members get more excited about the baby.
Did you have the sex scan in [name_f]China[/name_f] and were allowed to find out bc you aren’t Chinese? Or did you just do it in Iran? I have a friend who had the anatomy scan when she was living in [name_f]Canada[/name_f]. They refused to tell her the sex bc her husband is Korean-American. Apparently they have high rates of [name_f]Asian[/name_f] immigrants seeking sex-specific abortions. I don’t know if this is Canadian law or just an officious ultrasound tech, though.
In my friend’s case, she and her husband were thrilled to find out they had a daughter at delivery, and they were just as delighted about the next two children being girls as well.
That is definitely not Canadian law. They should have filed a complaint, that tech was way out of line if they refused to disclose the sex based on the parents’ nationality.
ETA Depending on the province, some techs aren’t authorised to disclose the sex personally, you have to hear it from your OB or other health care provider.
This was in Vancouver. They said they were fine with not finding out, just annoyed by the assumption based on his nationality.
I have heard that some techs here won’t reveal the sex and have the doctor do it, maybe they are just concerned about making a mistake and prefer the doctor to take the fall on that? When we had our u/s, the tech was very chatty and happy to tell us everything. Then the doctor came in and repeated everything she said.
Yeah, I’ve heard that about the growing sex imbalance. It seems like there is always a way to bribe one’s way around these policies, though.
I did a little more digging, and was surprised to find that apparently BC has made it law to not disclose the sex to anyone prior to 20 weeks, in order to discourage sex based abortions. However, some private ultrasound clinics will still disclose the sex prior to 20 weeks. Regardless, that tech was misinformed and incredibly rude to refuse to tell your friends the sex based specifically on the father’s nationality.