What do you think? On the one hand I think I’d love to know and have those few months before they’re born to prepare for a girl/boy. Plus then you can get all the adorable super cute little boy or little girl clothes/nursery accessories. On the other hand, it seems like it would be so exciting to wait until they’re born- especially for your first! And such a fun surprise for family as well. What do you think?
I don’t yet have children, but I know my parents waited to find out and used all gender neutral decorations and toys for the nursery. I would wait, just for the surprise and especially for the first!
Personally, I enjoyed finding out. No big reason, I’m just impatient and didn’t want to wait.
I think for some, waiting to find out can be fun. The only argument for waiting I don’t agree with is that knowing takes away the excitement at birth…seriously, you’re going to be over the moon excited to meet him/her whether you know or not! From friends’ experiences, I also think that if you have any preference/leaning whatsoever for a boy or girl, it’s probably smart to find out so you can have the second half of your pregnancy to be crazy excited about having a [the opposite of your preference].
I loved waiting for the surprise with all mine except this one, we were told by mistake - and knowing has been a big disappointment for me this time. it won’t ruin meeting my baby, but it does ruin part of the excitement of pg for me.
I think you can prepare for a baby without having to buy pink and blue (which are a bit boring [name]IMO[/name] anyway). Newborns don’t need dresses or boy’s clothes, they’re wasted on them as they are uncomfortable, difficult to put on and plain silly [name]IMO[/name] when you’re at home most of the time. Better to buy bright or fun patterned babygros and then once they’re born and a bit older splurge on proper clothes they’ll actually wear.
I like the idea of waiting…but I don’t think I could stand the suspense.
What about a compromise? I don’t know if anyone here has done this before, but you and your partner could keep the secret (gender/name) until the baby is born. That way your family will be surprised!
I truly loved not knowing! It made the birth feel like opening my christmas presents… it was actually an additional exciting thought between my contractions; is it a boy or a girl? I have to admit I did wish for a wee li’l lass, and to me waiting to find out made even more sense because of that. When you hold your child for the first time, when you look into each others eyes, how could one possibly be disappointed with the gender you “got”?
As for clothes and nursery… The clothes, like malk said, you really only need rompers and sleepsuits the first few weeks. You’ll get tons of pressies from your friends and family when your baby’s born, and the ones who bought us girlie stuff waited until after birth. The cute tutus and dresses, or suspenders and bow ties will have to wait for a few months. Most of that isn’t made for kiddie’s younger than 3 months anyway! Now, I did have a stash of clothes for Roo that I’ve collected over the years. Whenever I’ve seen an enchantingly beautiful dress, or an exceptional little fur coat, I’ve bought it. And I did do some shopping while preggers… nothing wrong with that. And I bought some very cute boy stuff I’ll save for the next one, or give away to my next friend/family member who has a lad.
I’m not very into the big gender divide in nurseries, I want it to be sweet and cosy. If [name]Dita[/name] had been a boy, the nursery would look the same. It’s not like she cares right now anyway… Her nursery has a fairytale wall mural, lots of teddies, books, toys in baskets, a dresser, huge mirror, a few pictures on the wall, lace curtains, fairy lights and a very comfy velvet chair. Some of the most adorable dresses I’ve hung on the wall.
We waited. It was exciting and fun to be surprised! Also, if you plan on having more children, I personally think it’s better to get gender-neutral stuff anyway so you can reuse it. You don’t want to have to waste money on a 2nd high chair, stroller, Pack n Play, etc. Before our daughter was born, I hung yellow curtains in the nursery and bought plain white bedding (it’s more practical - babies are messy, sometimes you need to bleach things!) and I just put stuffed animals and photos of our family around to make it look more cheerful. Now the room looks totally girly and cute, but all I really did was buy a pink quilt for the daybed and hung up some of her special outfits on the wall (christening gown, mermaids halloween costume, easter dress). Also, you don’t need to worry about clothes. In those first few weeks, you won’t be putting them in those adorable little outfits anyway. Onesies will be your best friends, so buy lots of those! Your friends and family will buy you tons of gender-appropriate clothes after. We went home from the hospital will so much more stuff than we brought with us because everyone had to bring our daughter a little outfit.
I’ve often thought what our preference will be, we are trying for our first. Sometimes I think I’d definitely want to keep it as a surprise as i like the element of the surprise and the suspense. And it does seem a little like opening your presents before [name]Christmas[/name] [name]Day[/name] if you find out. It would also be a lot of fun guessing the gender with family and friends… But i also like the idea of my partner revealing whether we have a daughter or a son as soon as baby is born (rather than the doctor/nurse annoucing it). And a big positive, I’d get to choose more potential names!
We found out and I will do so next time, too.
It made the pregnancy seem a bit more real - it’s the one thing you can find out about your baby. I don’t get the whole “it ruins the surprise” thing. You either get the surprise at 20 weeks or 40(ish), the only difference is when.
I also don’t see the sex of the baby as that big a deal. It does influence what I’d name them but I loathe the whole pink=girl, boy=blue schtick. Babies are babies - they’re not programmed by their genitals and you don’t need to dress them in certain colours and treat them differently.
We were going to wait, but after talking about nursery ideas and looking at clothes, and being overwhelmed with so many name choices, we decided to find out. We just found out last [name]Monday[/name] we were having a girl and immediately went out and bought all sorts of cute little girl items! It was a lot of fun for us! Plus, it gave me something fun to look forward to during the middle of the pregnancy. And our list of all the thousands of possible names out there was cut in half! I understand the excitement in waiting to find out, but find out early was the right choice for us. **little girl due on Halloween 
I agree w. milasmama regarding the sex not being a big deal. Babies are babies!
[name]Just[/name] practically speaking, if you are planning on having multiple children, some people prefer not to share the sex of the first before birth. We have friends who have either not found out or not shared the results of the anatomy scan just so that when their excited friends and family are buying them presents, the major baby gear can be passed down to the next baby. Of course, it always could be, boys can totally use pink stuff and vice versa, but many folks don’t want to deal w. the controversy of putting a second-born son in a pink carseat or a princess stroller.
I wouldn’t want to find out. I mean, I haven’t been there yet or anything, so I may change my mind…but there are so few surprises left in this day and age! If you go gender neutral in your nursery/clothing it will be more likely to be put to good use with any subsequent children if they aren’t the same gender as the first.
If I had a gender preference I may want to find out so that I could deal with any unresolved emotions regarding that. My family member wanted a girl so badly that she had convinced herself she was having a girl. When she found out it was a boy, at birth, she had a lot of trouble coming to terms with it.
I couldn’t bear the wait! I just wanted any little detail I could get about my baby…9+ months feels so long! Plus I am not one to wait until baby comes to start buying stuff. I didn’t go crazy, but is was nice to select those few important items, a gorgeous blanket, a stuffed bunny, none of these things were especially feminine, but imagining the type of child that would one day play with them was in the back of my mind while choosing them.
I loved knowing the gender during my pregnancy. I am a planner and I like to know what I am planning for.
It did make me feel closer to the baby throughout the second half of my pregnancy. Before knowiing the gender, the baby was an “it.” After finding out, he was a “he.”
Knowing did not take anything away from the excitement of the birth day. There are so many surprises for the day - who the baby will look like, the baby’s weight, length, temperment, etc.
I am currently 36.5 days away from my anatomy scan and finding out whether it’s a boy or a girl - and that is [name]PLENTY[/name] enough of a wait and more than enough of a surprise for me! I see it as one of the handful of amazing, exciting, beautiful days that come with a pregnancy - it doesn’t all have to happen on the one day the baby is born (another one would be the first time you hear the heartbeat). My family and friends and I have already placed our bets on what it is so no missing out on that. And a few other commenters have previously mentioned that it might be less exciting, or anti-climactic, for others if they know what we’re having beforehand. I could not care less about that. The only people who matter are me, my hubby and our families and they’ll all be just as excited when baby as born even if they know it’s sex beforehand. Anyone else feeling it’s anticlimactic can deal. Also, I hate referring to baby as “it” and I know I’ll be able to connect better, and prepare better, for him/her one I know what it is. We are so excited!
Maybe if we ever get to baby number 3, maybe by then it will be something that can just wait until the end. This first one? Hell no, I can’t wait that long!
If gender’s not a big deal, then why wait? It is what it is.
You know what’s exciting? YOU are actually having a baby. It’s something you’ve never done before.
Maybe you could give yourself this time now to enjoy not knowing and then later find out and enjoy knowing.
Whatever you do just don’t pull the stunt a friend of mine has. She keeps saying she wants to be surprised, then claims she “knows” what it is. It bothers me they keep calling their girls by their top boy names before they’re born, because they want to be surprised and yet they know they’re boys. Sigh. You really have to be committed to idea of it could be either.
Good [name]Luck[/name]!
I personally am not going to find out the gender of any of my children. I honestly just think that finding out the gender just spoils the whole excitement of having a baby. I know some people do it just so that they can paint the room but really why can’t you just paint it yellow or have multicolored things. Also about the clothes thing I am just going to get some unisex sleep suits and other essentials because when you have a baby you get so many gifts and clothes, even hang me downs from friends who have had babys’.
I am truly enjoying this waiting game. [name]Don[/name]'t get me wrong, I am DYING to know if I have a son or daughter, but it adds a dimension of excitement to this pregnancy as I am waiting to find out.
Also, knowing the sex only lets you in on whether your baby has a penis or vagina. It doesn’t tell you any more than that about this little person growing inside of you. Once you know the sex it’s possible to begin placing preconceived ideas regarding gender upon the wee one, but it truly tells you very, very little about the baby. I know some moms feel that it helps them bond more with their baby, but I feel incredibly bonded and connected to my child without knowing the sex.
And as others have stated, babies are babies.
Very interesting to see such divided opinions!
I agree with aspects of everyone’s comments. A baby is a baby. You will love it to death no matter what. Once you hold him/her, you won’t be able to imagine it any other way. In addition, I am soooo not into the whole pink and blue thing either. The idea of going through labor not knowing what I was having honestly woul probably give me that much more of a drive, and some extra adrenaline! And the idea of having my husband announce if it was a boy or girl is soooo adorable. I love doing things the old fashioned way!
On the other hand I would love to have those few months to prepare and dream about a little girl or little boy. I am a planner as well and so the aspect of knowing does have apeal. [name]Even[/name] in a generally gender neutral nursery, id love to have little accents here or there of little boy or girl things. And I would totally pick up clothing I saw that I thought would be super cute… Dresses and hair bows, or bowties and sweaters! Unnecccesary I know! But come on, it’s the first baby!
[name]Man[/name] it is such a hard choice!
I just wanted to add that, even though we waited to find out the gender of our first baby, we may find out with the second. I enjoyed waiting the first time, not knowing didn’t made it difficult at all for my husband and I to bond with the baby, and just hearing the heartbeat and feeling the kicks was enough to make it real. I don’t think finding out ruins anything, though. We will be just as surprised, only a little bit earlier, and finally meeting the baby will still be exciting. It’s a brand new person that you made, for goodness sake! [name]How[/name] could that not be exciting?
There are a few reasons why I’m contemplating finding out next time. 1.) Simply because it would be a different experience. Why not see what it’s like to do it a different way? 2.) Our daughter, the future big sister, would probably feel more connected to the new baby if she could tell people whether she’s having a baby brother or a baby sister. 3.) We had a baby shower to celebrate our first child, but you don’t get that for subsequent children. I still want to have a party for my next baby, though, and I have some great ideas for a gender reveal party!