First name or middle name?

Girl Names
1

I was just writing a post that turned into another post, and in hopes of not asking 500 questions at one time, I’m breaking them up a bit. We’re not currently TTC, I’ve just had names on the brain.

For years, my husband and I have entertained the thought of honouring his late grandmother [name_f]Helen[/name_f] by using [name_f]Helena[/name_f] as a middle name for a girl. (We like the idea of using the middle name spot to honour family members rather than the first name spot, but we’re not totally married to it.) However, long story short(er), I was just trying to work out a combo with that in mind and ended up wrestling with [name_f]Helena[/name_f] a lot. I’m now wondering if it would make sense to use [name_f]Helena[/name_f] as a first name.

Reasons for:

  • we love it. We’d even love it if it had no family connection. We love the sound(s), the myth, and the meaning.
  • using it as a first name may work better than trying to shoehorn it into a middle name spot
  • it may very subtly honour my grandmother, too - her name rhymes with [name_f]Myrna[/name_f] and I’ve always struggled with how I could honour her name-wise. I’m not sure if this would count, but it wouldn’t hurt.
  • it has nickname possibilities, and at the same time I don’t feel like it’s such a huge name that it’s inevitably going to need nicknames

Reasons against:

  • after years of keeping it in mind, we’ve never settled on a preferred pronunciation - “huh-[name_m]LAY[/name_m]-na” vs. “[name_f]Helen[/name_f] + a” - and I’ve always assumed that it would be a really annoying name to have because there are at least two well-recognized pronunciations for it
  • his grandmother [name_f]Helen[/name_f] had the same surname as our children would have, so I wonder if it would be weird/unsettling to people if we gave our theoretical daughter almost the same name as her great-grandmother (the middle names would be different but often they don’t see a lot of use and [name_f]Helen[/name_f] didn’t use her middle name a lot so this might not matter)
  • it may be a bit of a mouthful with a heavy-sounding three-syllable surname. [name_f]Helena[/name_f] AR-blah-blah? (The surname starts with “Ar-” and the first syllable is stressed.)

What do you think?

2

Can I get a bit of feedback, please?

3

Personally, I think that [name_f]Helena[/name_f] is a beautiful name, and one that is timeless. I, therefore, would use it as a first name, since you love it so much. As far as pronunciation goes, you will struggle either way. I have a cousin named [name_f]Helena[/name_f] (pronounced huh-lay-na) and generally people pronounce her name [name_f]Helen[/name_f]+a initially. Especially because of [name_f]Helena[/name_f] Bonham [name_u]Carter[/name_u] you likely will get the [name_f]Helen[/name_f]+a pronunciation more (which also makes sense when honoring a [name_f]Helen[/name_f]), but certainly some people will see huh-lay-na, and maybe even uh-lay-na (no H sound) because that is the Latin pronunciation. All-in-all, I would go for it because you love it and just be prepared for some mild confusion!

4

I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_f]Helena[/name_f]. I like both pronunciations, but generally prefer [name_f]Helen[/name_f]-a, and it’s extra nice in your case because you’re honoring [name_f]Helen[/name_f]. I see zero issues with the shared name, I think that happens frequently when honoring family members. I’m not bothered at all by a six syllable first-and-last name combination. Good luck!

5

I would personally use [name_f]Helen[/name_f]. [name_f]Helena[/name_f] and her many prn bug me.