five day i being selfish? please help!

[name]Hi[/name] ladies, I have a huge dilemma going on inside my brain at the minute!!

My very best friend in the whole word is turning 21 in june and has asked me to go on a girly holiday with her and another of our friends. We’d be staying in the same country (UK) but would be about 8 hours drive away and would be going by plane to [name]London[/name]. She wants to go for five days and do theatre trip etc etc.

I really would love to go with her, but do you think it is okay to leave DD for that long?? She will be 8 mos. when we go and I have been weaning her onto bottle feeds for the past few weeks ready for going back to work so she wont be relying on b/feeding. If I went I would be leaving her with my dad who has said he is more than happy to watch her while I have some fun.

I feel really guilty spending the money though, like i’m a bad person spending money I could be putting aside for her future on a holiday.

Would any of you take the chance and go on the trip, or would you stay home? Best friend has two DD herself who she is leaving with her dad so I know I wouldn’t be the only one doing it, just don’t want people thinking we’re bad mums or more bothered about ourselves than our kids?

I wouldn’t go that far away or away for that long from a just eight month old baby-no one can take the place of mom when baby is really upset. Getting her strongly onto the bottle would be a must before going if you do go. A pacifier if she’ll take it (if she doesn’t now). You won’t be a “bad mom” if you go on this trip though. You can save money after this trip for future family trips. I do think moms who ditch their kids EVERY chance they get are not ready to be mothers and are very selfish but that is not what you are describing. Moms need breaks, for the benefit of their children as well as their own. Playing party girl every night, that would not be okay. But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating a friend turning 21, if your comfortable being that far away for that long from your baby who grandpa will be spoiling rotten and greatly enjoying doing so. Any chance the celebration could happen closer to home so you could be more comfortable going? Do not feel guilty if you go, enjoy yourself!

Absolutely do not feel guilty. Everyone needs a break, and being away will do you good. I’m going on a girly holiday with my two best friends to Magaluf (I’m sure you’ve heard of it!) for a week in [name]July[/name]. Its my present to myself seeing as I didn’t get to do anything for my 18th or 21st birthdays as I was pregnant for both of them.
My DD’s will be aged 5yrs old and 9months by then. Mummies need a break too and I’m sure your DD won’t even notice, she’ll be having too much fun with her Grandad! Have fun :slight_smile:

Ohhhh Magaluf, hope you have a lovely time!
I always watch “sun, sea and suspicious parents” on BBC3 and there was an episode or two about Magaluf. I’m always jealous of how amazing it looks, but then I know I would chicken out of booking it. I could only just manage two nights of partying before I had baby, nevermind a week lol!

I think i’m going to do a little extra research into how much a flight home would be if I decided to leave early/had to for an emergency etc. It’s only about 2 hours tops by plane (Liverpool-[name]London[/name]), so if I could get a flight home at the drop of a hat I think i’d be much more comfortable about the whole thing.

Thankyou jersey_gray for the input too :slight_smile: She does have a dummy at the minute but only when she’s really upset etc. Trying to avoid letting her having it too much as my best friend said that the reason she needed braces was because having a heavy-dummy-dependancy ruined her teeth? H.Vistor told me that this is poppycock and probably because she had her dummy til she was about six but it really got me worried. I had a gap-tooth until my adult teeth came in and hated being teased about my teeth. [name]Don[/name]'t want her resenting me if she needs braces because of a dummy lol.

Thanks for the input guys, really appreciate it :slight_smile:

Take a holiday and ENJOY it! A happy refreshed mommie is a good mommie and 8 months old is old enough to stay with the grandparents for a week imo (I’m sure they’ll have a great time together- it’s nice to let them bond!). If money is really tight that’s a whole other thing- but if you are just thinking about saving for the long term I think you should splurge on yourself. I have a 2 month old and I hope to go away with just my husband this summer…I’m sure I will have a bit of guilt when that time comes, but it’s good to take time for yourself & your relationships imo.