I’m doing a project on parenthood for my Challenge and Change class (it’s basically a mix of social sciences- anthropology, sociology, psychology). [name]One[/name] of the things I want to talk about is why people choose to have kids. So if you don’t mind sharing, why did you? Or why would you if you don’t already? Why did parents you know choose to?
Thanks so much!
Anyone out there? Please 
So, I think I have always wanted kids. I also thought it was a good idea because I was able to afford it and support them emotionally.
In all reality, I love kids. I love people. I love watching little babies grow into big adults. I don’t know what else to say.
Well, my pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I always wanted to be a mother. I feel like I have a compassionate nature and I felt like I had a lot of love to offer a child. I wasn’t sure yet if that would mean a biological child or an adopted one, but then nature stepped in.
My decision to have children comes from three factors:
I’ve always felt drawn to motherhood. I believe it’s one of the most important things a person can do, and one of the best ways to change the world for the better.
I fear that my original decision to have children may have been a selfish one. I don’t feel fulfilled unless I’m in a nurturing role, and motherhood was a simple way to be in that role. I like being needed and being depended on.
My wife considers children as her contribution to society. We have a daughter, and another on the way, and we will probably adopt after that.
Why would you if you don’t already?
For most of my life I haven’t wanted children. I really enjoy my independence, as does my partner. We enjoy being free, being able to do things spur of the moment with little to no planning. We’ve both discussed the issue at length and decided we do want children, and will be TTC in about a year. In the end, I suppose it may be fear. I’ve yet to meet a person who regrets having children, and I know many people who regret not having them. If we have a child, we’ll grow and change; we’ll adjust. We’ll probably have a life of adventure we’d never have experienced without children. There may be times when we’re exhausted, or when we want to climb a mountain at eleven-o-clock at night and aren’t able to because there’s a miniature person with us that wants to go to bed. BUT, if we don’t have a child, there may come a day when we want one and can’t have one because we’re too old. We’ve decided we have a lot to offer a child, and more than that we want to experience all the ways a child changes us.
Why did parents you know choose to?
I’m convinced very few people put any thought into it. They have children because they’re human, and that’s what we do. We breed. The same as any other animal. I wish more people did think about it, and put some thought into whether they’re truly suited to raising children. There are way too many people raising children that shouldn’t be raising them, and are raising damaged people who will only continue the cycle.
For those parents I know that did make a choice: one made the choice for religious reasons; one thought it would bring she and her husband closer; one simply loves mothering, always has; one wanted to replace a miscarried unplanned child; and another had an unplanned pregnancy in a previous relationship, and wants to have a fully blended family with her current partner so they decided to have more children. I don’t agree with all of their reasons, but they’re all reasonably happy and they all have wonderful children I adore.
Thanks for all your replies everyone! Very helpful.
Why would you if you don’t already?
I’ve always wanted to be a mother, it’s something ingrained in me.
As I got older I realised that it’s one of my personal purposes. To be the best mother I can be, and raise the best children I can.
I have other deeply personal reasons behind that, but that’s the basics.
Why would you if you don’t already?
I would consider adoption in a few years if I felt my husband and I were very financially stable and able to care for a child.
I think it’s a great blessing and challenge to train a child up into a strong adult, and there are many children who need homes and loving caregivers. I pray that if it’s God’s will he will lead us into it.
I would not consider pregnancy. No desire whatsoever.
My husband and I have always agreed that having children was the best part of life. We are so blessed that we are able to have children. Being a parent is beyond my wildest dreams. The love you feel for your child can not ever be explained with mere words. It truely is the best part of life! We have one on the way right now and can’t wait to welcome her into her world!
It is hard to explain, but some of it comes from the way I feel about my husband. I love him so much and out of my love for him grew this desire to create life with him- to meld some part of him with me. That sounds hokey or cheesy, but I don’t know how else to describe it.
I don’t think we need any more people in the US, but I think we could use some more tolerant, kind, generous and thoughtful people. And that is the kind of child I am going to try to raise (due [name]May[/name] 2013). That is a part of why I wanted to have kids too.
Someone already mentioned it, but when you hit your 30’s (I am 33), you do start to think, “it’s now or never.” I think the biological clock and the fear of regret also plays a role in choosing to have a children. I know it was in the back of my mind, although it wasn’t the main reason.
I just wanted to say I love that, and I agree so much.