❓ for all expats and movers…

General Name Discussion
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Hey all! I’m wrapping up my last few weeks as an [name_f]English[/name_f] assistant living abroad and while it had been on my mind before, I had a breakthrough realization a couple days ago that I really want to move back to [name_f]France[/name_f] at some point in my life. And I hope it could be while my kids are at home because I’d love to raise them bilingual and I don’t think my [name_u]French[/name_u] alone would be enough. With that in mind, I’ve been experimenting with my favorite [name_u]French[/name_u] names and names that work in [name_f]France[/name_f] but not all of my favorite names make the cut, and the boy pool is unfortunately quite slim.

Which leads me into my question(s). I’m moving back to the US next month and will be there at least while I finish my master’s degree. There’s a good chance that my spouse will be American and that my kids will spend at least part of their life in the US, potentially moving between the US and [name_f]France[/name_f] periodically, I’m not quite sure (but my ideal job would let me move and travel easily).

I’m directing this specifically at expats or people who plan to move to another country to raise their kids (or even for those who don’t plan to but wouldn’t be opposed to it, etc), especially for those where the countries speak different languages, but feel free to chime in with any ideas or insight even if you aren’t in this situation!

**Does it factor into the names you would use realistically for your children? (Or if you have kids, did it factor into the names you chose?)

Would it be important for you to have the names be pronounced the same in the two places/languages? And if one would be pronounced in a way you don’t like as much, would that be a dealbreaker? (An example would be [name_u]Fable[/name_u] for me. I don’t like the [name_u]French[/name_u] pronunciation but while the [name_f]English[/name_f] would be possible for [name_u]French[/name_u] people to say, it wouldn’t be intuitive)

Would usability in one place be more important than usability in the other? (So in my case, would you care more about it working in the US or in France?)

Would you consider using two names, one for the child to use in each place? (Potentially as a first and middle)

Any other thoughts about names and language and moving between languages that you want to share?**

Very interested in hearing what people think and having a conversation!

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These are some very interesting questions!

It’s something I’d pondered about for a good while myself when I was younger. While at this point I’m pretty confident about wanting to foster & adopt older kids, some years ago that wasn’t the case, so as a Greek person who was going to be moving abroad I’d considered the possible effect of that on baby names quite a bit.

To kind of answer all of your questions at once, what I’d decided on was that I would give the child a name that would work in their main country of residence. Where they would go to school, etc. The reason being that it’d be much easier going by something that works where you live most of the time! As for usability in the “secondary” country, I wouldn’t care too much if the pronunciation is not intuitive, as long as it’s not too hard. That’s because due to your situation your child probably won’t be interacting with a lot of strangers from that second country - I’d assume mainly family, family friends, etc. So most people the kid would be interacting with, you’d only need to explain the pronunciation to them once early on in their life and be done with it!

Would you be raising your child in France until adulthood, or is there a possibility you would move back to the US after a few years? In a scenario where that was the case, I might be more inclined to give them a multicultural name or a more English name.

I’m not against the first-name-in-one-language and middle-name-in-another idea, but there’s also no guarantee that the child will want to go by an entirely different name whenever they visit another country for a few weeks or even months. And it might feel unnatural to you as a parent to switch from what you call your child 90% of the time to something entirely different? It may be nice to have a more international middle name as a backup in case they do want to go by something more easily pronounceable while abroad, I just wouldn’t rely on it as the main solution to the issue if that makes sense.

I hope that helped!! x

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I think the future is hard to predict. It’s nice to ponder about these things but a lot of these decisions you will most likely want to make with your future spouse (who could be from anywhere!)

There are a lot of international names out there, that can work in many different cultures. I think that you should focus on finding names that you like, most names are pretty adaptable.

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In my purely fantastical view of it right now, I think the US would be their main country of residence, with a few years spent in France (not sure if they’d be at the same time or just cumulative). Sticking with what would be ideal, I’d have them attending an immersion school in the US so they’d be able to go to a public school in France and be able to speak to their teachers and peers in French.

@Poppyseeds20 Sure, I can’t predict the future, but aren’t many of us just playing around with what-ifs when making our lists? And since my taste (especially for boys) leans towards modern, uncommon, and word names, some of my favorite names aren’t multicultural. With the example of Fable, some just don’t sound nice (imo) in French. That’s why I’m trying to gauge how much I should factor this when making my lists.

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I’m an immigrant rather than an expat (as in I’ve moved to another country permanently), so the names working in both languages/cultures is important to me. There aren’t any names that have exactly the same pronunciation in Finnish and [name_f]English[/name_f] (and usually there’s at least some slight variations across any languages!) but I do want them to be easily recognisable as the same name. I also dislike the pronunciation of some names in [name_f]English[/name_f] (like EYE-vo instead of EE-vo for Ivo) and some names sound really awkward/clunky in Finnish (like [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] and Cassidy), and that’s definitely a dealbreaker for me! This only goes for first names though - in the middle spot I just care about the names being meaningful to us, and I actually enjoy combining international firsts with traditional Finnish middle names.

If I knew I was going to live in another country temporarily for work, etc., it probably wouldn’t hugely influence my naming decisions. If a name worked well across both languages I’d consider it a plus, but it wouldn’t stop me from using a name I otherwise love (like [name_u]Fable[/name_u] in your case). I like to think about my child’s cultural identity when naming them - in your example here, it sounds like your children’s cultural identity would be solidly American, and therefore I don’t think it would bother them if their name didn’t work as well in [name_u]French[/name_u]. However, if you moved to [name_f]France[/name_f] permanently or had a [name_u]French[/name_u] spouse, they would likely identify as French-American, and then it would be important to me that the name was a good fit for both sides of their identity (in that case I would only use [name_u]Fable[/name_u] as a middle name).

Then again, there are languages that really have little to no overlap when it comes to names, like let’s say [name_u]French[/name_u] and Thai, and in that case you’d have to come to a different solution, like using two different names or choosing a name that has a nickname that works well in both languages. However, if it’s possible to find a name that travels well across both cultures, that would be my preference.

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I’m not an expat, but my children are being raised bilingual (or trilingual, in Hjörtur’s case) so their names working in different languages is something that matters to me. I don’t mind their names being pronounced differently though. Hjörtur’s name is as Icelandic as it gets, and most people get it (almost) right where we live now. That’s good enough for me. [name_f]My[/name_f] other children’s names get pronounced differently in Icelandic. In Icelandic the stress is always on the first syllable, so they tend to say LEH-oh-need, for example, but again, doesn’t really bother me.

Personally I think that, as long as a name isn’t considered ridiculous or offensive in another culture or is absolutely impossible to pronounce in any way, you should just go with what you love.

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I have been there, or actually, my parents. I lived in the Gulf for a decade. I was born there, in fact. However I wouldn’t use a name that has origins in that culture. Noor, Miriam, Zara and Ayesha were so out for me. My parents chose a name for me that is easily pronounced in most languages, something I’m grateful for. I’m in my native for now. To answer your questions:

I don’t have kids and I am speaking on behalf of my parents, also giving my own opinion. I would prefer a name from my own culture that also fits in the country that I am living in. Not just by sound but also in meaning. I don’t want it to be confused with an unpleasant word.

Yes.

Also yes.

They would be equally important for me. I like Sylvie but I have been told that it is essentially the Karen of France and French speakers. I don’t know if it is true but it certainly has put me off despite not being French or having French connections in any way.

That’s a great idea. I wouldn’t mind. I would, however, choose a name that fit both languages (because I am not really keen on middles). If I couldn’t find a name that way I would change it.

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For me it would be important that the names I use are not only easy to pronounce but feel natural in the language my children will be speaking (because, realistically, they will mostly be speaking the other language rather than mine, possibly even to each other).

Still, it would also matter to me that my family is able to pronounce the name, so I wouldn’t choose something that they’d have serious trouble with or that I absolutely didn’t like their pronunciation of.

ETA: In your case, I think if they’ll only be spending a year or two in France, it doesn’t really matter if their names work well in French or not; their peers will likely be able to use the English pronunciation anyway and their teachers’ French pronunciation of their names would rarely be experienced by you, so nothing to worry about really.

As for the same pronunciation, no absolutely not important though I wouldn’t necessarily know which one I’d use at home.
And no, I wouldn’t use two different names for different countries; however, that doesn’t include nicknames.

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I like this way of phrasing it, even though it makes things harder to seriously consider without knowing how easy it will actually be for me to live this life. If I had to guess, I’d think their identity would lean towards American but I want to give them the option to be French-American if they decide they want a deeper connection to the language and culture (which I’d be happy with). I guess I’d also be happy if they decided they wanted a deeper connection to the Thai language and culture, and I wouldn’t know how to plan for that.

You’re also right about names sounding different across languages almost no matter what! My roommate and I were actually talking about this last night—she was saying how she tries to say her students’ names the French way but with a boy named Steven, she can’t not say it in her normal American accent lol.

I really hope I can raise my kids in a multilingual household like you describe with your sons! I’m currently trying to test the waters with French names to see what names reach my desired level of adventurousness without being too weird.

@AStudyIn_Scarlet I love hearing from someone who has experience on the kid side of things too! Unfortunately, my experience with Sylvie in France has been quite Karen-esque and has put me off the name entirely.

Great point. Everyone in my immediate family (parents and siblings) either have at least a couple years of French knowledge or are planning to take it in the near future but outside of them, I might worry. I think this would factor into the different pronunciation options—for example, I’ve thought of using Romane and leaning towards Roman for the pronunciation in English, or just using Romy as a nickname. I think I’d use whichever I’m feeling at the moment while at home, or perhaps whichever aligns with which language we’re speaking, but that’s certainly something to consider.

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I’m moving to (specific state not specified here, but it’s in the southern US) from [name_f]Canada[/name_f] with my (American) fiancée in a few weeks, getting married there this [name_u]July[/name_u], and planning to stay permanently unless something drastically changes.

Not as many name usability issues for us as you’d get with different primary languages, but it does actually open up my options for a few names I don’t think I’d be able to “get away with” in [name_f]Canada[/name_f].

I wouldn’t consider having two separate names for them to use, although depending on how things shake out I might end up liking two names as a double barreled first name, which would be more usable in the area I’m moving to than it would be in [name_f]Canada[/name_f]. In that case, I’d probably have the child go by both names in daily life and at school, but only the first name of those when doing things back in my hometown. (For example, a [name_f]Delilah[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] would be [name_f]Delilah[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] most of the time, but if I went back home for a month in the summer and enrolled her in a day camp, I would let them just call her Delilah.)

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Since my husband is from Mexico, I had to deal with most of these questions when naming my girls. He still has most of his family there, and none of his relatives in Mexico speak any [name_f]English[/name_f], but some of the older generation speak an indigenous language, Nahuatl. Then of course my family speak hardly any Spanish whatsoever except for me.

[quote=“SparkleNinja18, post:1, topic:408205”]
Would it be important for you to have the names be pronounced the same in the two places/languages? And if one would be pronounced in a way you don’t like as much, would that be a dealbreaker?
[/quote] I wanted names that I liked the sound of in both [name_f]English[/name_f] and Spanish, and most of their names sound similar in both languages. If I didn’t like the sound in one language or the other, that name was not used.

[quote=“SparkleNinja18, post:1, topic:408205”]
Would usability in one place be more important than usability in the other?
[/quote] Since we are currently living in the US and my kids are going to school in the US, I placed more importance on usability in the US. Therefore, [name_f]Xochitl[/name_f] was given as my daughter’s middle name and not her first. Also, [name_f]Belén[/name_f] had to be used as a middle since accent marks cannot be used in the US on a birth certificate.

[quote=“SparkleNinja18, post:1, topic:408205”]
Would you consider using two names, one for the child to use in each place?
[/quote] [name_f]My[/name_f] kids mostly go by their first names, but I don’t mind my husband’s family calling my oldest [name_f]Xochitl[/name_f]. Noemi’s name has a slightly different pronunciation in Spanish.

Let me know if you have any more questions!

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I’m a little late in my reply, but I am American and my husband is Swedish. We are currently living in the US, but have plans to move to Sweden soon. We have a 4 year old who speaks Swedish and English, and is a dual citizen. His name is Casper.

It was important to us to have a name that worked well in both languages. We immediately discounted all names with Swedish vowels (ÅÄÖ) since they are not equivalent with English (Åke ≠ Ake), and W names, since that’s a V sound in Swedish (and the first letter of our last name). We didn’t need name to have the exact same pronunciation, but we did want a generally similar sound, though we didn’t want something that would create confusion or multiple pronunciations in the SAME language (For example, in English Anna is usually pronounced with a short a but can be short o, whereas, Anna in Swedish is always pronounced with a short o. I didn’t mind my kiddo having to change between languages, but I didn’t want to have to explain/clarify within a language, if that makes sense. Think Clara, Andrea etc).

We did want something somewhat familiar in both countries, so did not consider a lot of word or nature names, since the name and meaning are so explicitly linked in one language, but not the other (Saga might be the only exception I can think of).

We took into consideration things like different “vibes,” cultural significance, generational pattern/popularity, but they weren’t dealbreakers. The name we chose is much more popular in Sweden than it is in the US, and is very associated with the friendly ghost in the US, but those were all things we were comfortable with.

Here are some names we considered (or might have but were taken by friends/rhymed with our last name): Nina, Miriam, Linnea, Esther, Ebba, Harriet, Julius, Felix, Robin, Oscar, Roland. And of course I still have name lists with names I love that just don’t work as well in Swedish (Archie, Betsy, Rowan), and those I prefer in Swedish (Ida, Joakim, Tyko).

I was happy to have some parameters on my name choices. I felt like it helped us narrow down names we liked to names that were usable, to the ones that felt right.

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