[name_m]How[/name_m] did it turn out? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you feel about the name now?
Asking stories from anyone who ended up using a name from SO’s list or that was your SO’s #1 choice but your #2 (or 3 or 4).
For my own situation, my SO has a clear #1 favorite. I like the name well enough. It doesn’t completely clash with my ‘name style’, I like his reasons for picking it (sentimental, family etc). I can picture a daughter of mine with the name just fine, she fits in with our vibe. You get the idea.
But the name wasn’t on my original list or my revised list. It’s more tailored than I usually lean towards, less romantic and liquid like I’m drawn to. It wasn’t in my top —- but it’s in our top.
I’m just wondering if I’ll regret it. Choosing a name that I liked just ‘pretty well.’ Obviously, if we don’t go with this name then I’d likely be pushing SO into the exact same scenario, which doesn’t seem fair.
Who else had been in this position, what did you chose, and how did it turn out?
For one of my children we agreed on the first name (which was my suggestion to begin with) and then I compromised on the middle. It was a name I knew he loved, I didn’t really, but it sounded fine enough together. I knew that if I gave in for that middle spot, it would mean he couldn’t push for it as a first name later on for another child!
In the end, years later, I’m happy about it. The name combo has grown on me, and we get compliments whenever people hear the full name together. It still wouldn’t be a combo I’d come up with myself, but it’s good.
Thanks so much for sharing your story! Anyone else who has ‘compromised’ with their partner on their baby’s name and willing to share how they feel now?
I have 5 kids and heavily compromised on the boys names. When my second baby was born (my DH first kid) my DH really loved only 2 names M!ro like the artist pronounced Mih- row and Lightning after Lightning Hopkins. I did NOT want an M name at all because me and all my siblings and cousins have M names and I didn’t want Lightning at all because it’s not a name. So I was set on using lightning as the middle so my DH wouldn’t push it on future kids. I ended up caving on M!ro because DH loved it so much. Now I do like it because it’s not just a name it’s a son I like that it’s not common, an artists name and can use nickname Row. When we had our next child my DH knew I had compromised so he was game for pretty much anything I wanted to name her. Naming is give and take. I am
[name_f]Happy[/name_f] w all my kids names even the ones I heavily compromised on. I know u will feel the same good luck!
I did. My daughter’s name was my husband’s first choice. I noticed an accidental tradition in my family (my dad named me, my grandpa named my mom, my great grandpa named my grandma), and in everyone of those cases, each daughter was very positive about being named by their father-- it always meant a lot to me especially since my dad has always been a man’s man so you’d think he’d be more invested in naming sons. Anyway, I went into the naming discussion for our firstborn predisposed to want to like his top choice. And I did. It wasnt/isn’t my style, but he loved his top choice as much as I loved mine, so I decide to continue the accidental tradition of fathers naming first daughters. I picked the middle name and I have more influence naming baby #2.
I’ve never had any regret…except when I’m on nameberry lol. Some berries are very set in stone that sibsets should match like luggage, so whenever I post name queries (even when I specify that siblings names will be different styles and that’s how my husband and I want it), people ultimately insist on only saying if a name goes with [name_f]Brynn[/name_f], suggesting names that go with [name_f]Brynn[/name_f], and not giving feedback on names a different style than [name_f]Brynn[/name_f] (other than to say they don’t go with [name_f]Brynn[/name_f]).
But that’s hardly name regret. It made my husband so happy to name [name_f]Brynn[/name_f] and the name suits her so perfectly (more so than [name_f]Helen[/name_f] nn [name_f]Nell[/name_f], which was my top choice after my grandmother). Though it is very important to me that our second child’s name be one from my list.
My son’s name was my husband’s first pick and a name I just liked. Though I originally suggested it, it doesn’t match my typical style so without my husband’s influence I doubt I ever would have used it. But I’m glad we chose it. The name meant more to him than any boy name meant to me. I had plenty of names I liked better, but none meant as much to me as [name_u]Lennon[/name_u] meant to him.
The name [name_u]Lennon[/name_u] fits my son perfectly. When I try to picture him as a [name_m]Franklin[/name_m], [name_m]Felix[/name_m], [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] or any of the other million names I brought up to my husband, I feel relief that we went with [name_u]Lennon[/name_u]. It’s perfect for him and I think the thought behind his name choice will mean a lot to him when he’s older.
If you don’t have a name that means as much to you as this name means to your husband, I think you’ll be happy you let him chose. If you do have a particular name that’s just as meaningful that’s where the conversation gets complicated. Good luck.
Me and DH have very different naming styles. We were rather lucky picking DS’s name, as I basically forced him to go through a baby book and tick all the names he liked. I did the same, and it was the one name that we both liked for a boy.
We struggled for a middle name. He didn’t have many contributions to make but i hated the few he did suggest. He vetoed every name I suggested. He eventually admitted to liking my choice of [name_m]Henry[/name_m] but thought it was a little boring and so wasn’t keen. We came across [name_u]Arlo[/name_u], he loved it but i was unsure as it was a little out there for me. We couldn’t decide on which to go for so our compromise was to use both haha.
I went with my husband’s first choice for our son, [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]. I wasn’t into it at first, like AT ALL. Then things just started changing my mind. One day I was looking at it written out and realized all the letters in my name ([name_f]Linda[/name_f]) are in [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]. Then I found out that the founder of our beautiful town from the 1800s was named [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]. The biggest thing for me though was that my husband was so willing to go with my girl name choice even though it wasn’t his first choice.
All in all, I really like the name [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] now. I like boys names to be more traditional than trendy. It goes well with our surname. And now I get to name the next one
We went with my husband’s first choice. The first time he suggested it I shot it down, but it really grew on me after some time. Also, I was in some sort of naming limbo and didn’t have any clear favourites. I’m really happy with our choice and love the name now - it suits her perfectly.
I think it’s interesting that we name nerds have so much trouble compromising on names. Most of us are in this with partners… with whom we probably easily compromise on countless other things! My husband and I are teammates. That’s how we see ourselves, so when it came to names, we began on complete opposite ends of the naming spectrum and just kept working at it until we found names for our kids that we could both be excited about. The first one was easier than the second one. The greatest compromise we made in the traditional sense was for our second child we searched forever to find the right first name, then we took his top choice and my top choice and used them as two middles. The strategy of searching until neither of us feels like we are compromising has worked for us.
I wouldn’t have chosen [name_f]Hazel[/name_f]'s name on my own. It was too popular for me, but since we named her after our two grandmother’s - I was very happy with it. My husband definitely was more on board at first, but I definitely do not regret it now. I can’t picture her with another name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if you don’t love a name, you will grow to love your baby so much, that you won’t care as much that it wasn’t your top pick.
However, if it wasn’t a family name - I probably wouldn’t have compromised! Good luck!
