Perhaps I am very lucky, DH has given me free reign to choose our little girl’s name. I am currently 25.5 weeks and am still debating names. [name_f]My[/name_f] DH is wonderful- after 2 years of IVF and 4 miscarriages he has basically said I can have whatever name I want. I keep asking “do you like xyz?” and he’ll say “[name_f]Do[/name_f] YOU like it?” If I say yes he’ll say “I love it”. If I say what about ABC or XYZ? Which do you like better? He’ll ask “which do YOU like better? I like that one too”. I have had moments where I say… what if I choose something you don’t like? and he said he actually does like the names I have suggested and trusts me. So he won’t be helping me narrow things down any time soon.
Anyway, I have a few top runners- [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] and [name_f]Rose[/name_f] (nn [name_f]Rosie[/name_f]). But then I freeze and can’t commit. I start coming up with new ideas (like [name_f]Milena[/name_f] nn [name_f]Millie[/name_f]!) and then end up back to old favourites. Part of the problem is this is IT, my last baby. [name_f]My[/name_f] last chance to choose. I want it to be a perfect name.
Other factors which influence me- I have older children currently who like to voice their opinions on names- but they all have different tastes. One likes modern, another classics while the other has more ‘hipster’ tastes. I think perhaps I am trying to please everyone. But in the process please nobody.
I haven’t had to choose a name for a baby yet, but I think the best thing to do would be to have a short list (I’d say no more than 5 names on it), and then see which name you think fits your daughter best when you get to hold her for the first time.
From what I can see, you have a great taste in names, so try to think of the naming process as something exciting and not something stressful. Good luck.
Thank you bretak- it was an exciting process when I was first trying to conceive 2 years ago. Now I’m feeling weighed down by the finality of actually choosing.
I think perhaps the idea of taking a short list is the best idea. I wish I could choose now though, as I want to make a few personalised items.
tfzolghadr Thanks so VERY much for telling me how you got to your name. It makes sense. I do think of last name, nick names… initials… everything. Which is why I get particularly frozen at times. I had decided on [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f] before we were TTC but realised recently that it won’t work as our LN starts with Y… if there were 2 [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f]'s in her class she’d be AnnabelleY AnnaBELLY!!! LOL not good…
I think perhaps seeking more input from DH might actually prove useful. He says to ignore the opinions of our other children. I suspect I will be bringing a short list into hospital. It took us 3 days to name our last daughter. I do wonder if I ‘used up’ my favourite girl names already, which makes choosing a final one more difficult.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] remember nothing will ever be perfect … that is the very first thing you have to accept as a mother. Everything will be imperfect, as it should be. AND a name is really just that in the end … it is as much about who you were when you were choosing it as anything else (we don’t stay static and our tastes change). But she will love her name because you chose it for her.
Congratulations! This is an exciting time for you, but I can see how it can be overwhelming. I think taking a short list to the hospital is a good idea; that way you can look at your new daughter and say, “She looks just like a [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f], or a [name_f]Rose[/name_f]!”
For what it’s worth, [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] and [name_f]Rose[/name_f] are beautiful names, and you can’t go wrong with either one.
I have one more suggestion - how about sort of combining [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f], and going with [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f]?
It was a painful process with my daughter. I wanted [name_f]Anne[/name_f], which is my favorite name. But, it was his grandmothers name and there was some bad history there. [name_f]My[/name_f] middle name is [name_f]Ann[/name_f], so that was now going to be the middle name. Then, the painful part started. I love lots of names, but he finds problems with everything. He vetoed all my favorites. Then all my next favorites. Then I just started tossing out names I liked. Finally, I mentioned [name_f]Clara[/name_f], and he was instantly in love. Once he heard it he wouldn’t even discuss other names. So, my little girl is [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and I love her name! I’m glad he vetoed a couple I loved.
[name_f]My[/name_f] son was much easier. We picked it before we decided to have kids!
jakki -you’re absolutely right- no child is perfect, indeed we love them more for their quirks. I think perhaps because it has been a long time my tastes have changed. A name I’d choose now is very different to a name I would have chosen before. Names I loved are now ‘dated’ so off the list for a modern day Miss. I really hope she loves her name, because it will be well thought out and lovingly chosen.
kyemsma Thanks for your congratulations, it is exciting. “how about sort of combining [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f], and going with [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f]?” I have debated this as an option many times, not 100% sure I get over the Twilight link though. I have considered [name_f]Rosaline[/name_f] instead.
boyandgirl I wish I could just suggest a name and have him say he loved it like you did with [name_f]Clara[/name_f]. That’s a gorgeous name (not with my LN though sadly). DS- his name was picked before I had him. DD#1- her name was changed last minute after birth to the name I’d always wanted… Actually DD#2 see story for DD #1! I went with 5 or so names into hospital and she came home with a name that wasn’t even on my list. [name_f]Glad[/name_f] you liked [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] and [name_f]Rose[/name_f], thanks.
Any more naming stories to help inspire me and help me find my way out of this ‘lost world’ of naming?
Congratulations! I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes well, and the birth is easy.
I think it’s wonderful your husband is letting you have free reign. I had to use the pregnancy card when our second child was due As for the older kids having opinions - they will have their own children to name. This is your baby, and your last, so it’s important that you name her.
Have you thought about calling her [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f]? That way you get to use both of your favorites.
[name_f]Susan[/name_f]
Mom to [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] and [name_f]Jemima[/name_f] [name_f]Natalie[/name_f]
Congrats! You are lucky… all i got was NO, UGH, TRYING TOO HARD, [name_f]CAT[/name_f] NAME, DOG NAME, etc. lol
You will figure it out, just remember you can’t please everyone. Your kids can name their own kids, this is all you! If it were me, I’d choose [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] [name_f]Matilda[/name_f].
I also don’t see any problem with [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f] Y. [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f] E. is the one that sounds like Annabelly.
I haven’t got the opportunity to name a child yet, but I was thinking… it’s your last child, so don’t you want to name her after somebody who means a lot to you? I give you an example:
When I was 12 my beloved grandmother died. She was my grandmother, my second parent, my friend… it was extremely painful, but what’s more important now, from that time I knew I will use her name if I’d ever have a daughter. And no matter first or middle name, one or the other will be given to honour my grandma. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t you want to honour a family member, or a friend, or just somebody that means an awful lot to you?
And if not a name after a person, how about other meaningful stuff? Another example - I have a favourite author. I love every single book she wrote, and I would use a name that appears in her books. It’s because 1. I love this name; 2. it means a lot to me; 3. it also honours one of my family members and I think that the connection is beautiful, and I am sure that my future daughter would be content of the link to these books.
Ok, wondering around the meaning - maybe you have something that you would like to give to your daughter? I mean, the meaning of a name? For example, name [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] means “radiant, shining one”. For me the meaning of a name is very important - for example my own name, [name_f]Marta[/name_f], means “lady, mistress, housewife”. I also have a trustworthy old name book and in this book, next to every name there is written the characteristic of a person who is wearing such name. Of course it’s never 100% true and accurate, but surprisingly, around 3/4 of information given there matches my personality; same with my mom, my sister etc (I checked everybody as I was shocked how well that book described myself).
Also, you can think if the names you like match your other children names - for example, if you’ve given your children names such as [name_f]Anna[/name_f], [name_f]Maria[/name_f] and [name_m]John[/name_m] it would be weird to name this baby [name_u]Quinn[/name_u] (which is unisex name and doesn’t fit other classic, gender-oriented names at all).
Personally, I slightly prefer [name_f]Rose[/name_f] to [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f]. I associate [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] with a sweet little girl and cannot picture an adult [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] or elderly [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f]… maybe because all the Phoebes I ever knew were little girls. [name_f]Rose[/name_f] sounds delicate and feminine to me, and i think it ages really well. I also love the association to the Titanic - soooo romantic! Anyway, as somebody said before - you can’t be wrong with either of these names they are both beautiful, [name_f]Matilda[/name_f] is nice too.
I hope that I helped a little good luck with choosing the name for your girl!!!